"Oh no...not agaaaaiiinnnn!!"

Sit down kids! I'm going to tell you all a story. Is it a story about how I had another moment of clarity? Yes. Am I going to be pensive? Yes. And You shut your yappin'...George Killian and I are here to tell you how I stared death in the face and then made out with her for a little bit. Go!

I learned a couple of things tonight.

1) Under no circumstances will I ever, ever, ever, ever, ever erve, ever drive MY own car on a school recruiting trip farther away than Walmart. I drove my car out because my appointments were only a few hours away and figured 'What the heck, Smith! Live a little!". So I did and I regret it. For one thing, every truck carrying gravel or dirt within a 60 mile radius of me must have known I was driving my own car because I've been pelted non stop with rocks and dirt since leaving Grove City. I hate semi trucks, as you all know, and I ESPECIALLY hate semi trucks carrying rocks and/or dirt. So my car has enough dings in it to be read by helen keller.

2) Olean, New York is the butthole of America. Nothing good comes out of Olean except refuse... and rcks and dirt. 66% of those things eventually wind up on my car. Even the mall blows here. If I were to rename the Olean Mall, I would name it the Diarrhea Mall, because it stinks and looks like crap. Half the stores in it were shut down. You know it's bad when even a Hallmark store can't stay open in a town. Oh wait at least two Hallmarks have closed in Butler, Pa...hmmm.

3) I almost died today. I know, I know, I tend to be over dramatic when I talk about 'almost dying'. Generally I reserve the very vague statement for instances where I misplace my tie, or make fun of Mandy and Courtney. But today, I literally almost died, and in almost dying was struck with a profound object lesson. This lesson is the real reason I'm blogging, but the other stuff was free of charge...you're welcome.
So I'm driving through this mountain pass reminiscent of the Oregon Trail, replete with scenic overlooks and everything. Unfortunately for Andrew, the road was also covered in snow. The road was also very straight and narrow, wait, no that's wrong, it was one set of switch backs after another down this mountain. As I'm descending the mountain this morning, I lose control of my car. It happens sometimes on snowy roads. I however happened to lose control on a switch back and my car went careening towards the edge of a cliff . So this car is going to go over the cliff, and I'm inside just yelling "Oh Jesus Oh Jesus Oh Jesus!!!" over ad over and over not in a profane way, but in the ultimate cry for divine intervention. Fortunately for myself my savior intervened and my car miraculously cut back onto a small patch of road not covered in snow. I still continued to yell "Oh Jesus!!" over and over but only because I was still thinking that I was going to die and was still invoking God's help...but I lived .
THAT'S TIME NUMBER 1 TODAY THAT I ALMOST DIED!!! Number Two came tonight when I was driving home on again another snowy road. I hesitate to use the word road, because half the time I was not sure if I was actually on a road. It was so potholey and lumpy that, again, if the road was shrunk down to Mini Size, Helen Keller could probably read what it said. It had that many bumps and pot holes. But anyway, the road was also cleverly masked by several inches of snow. So literally at any given point in my 120 mile journey I could not tell where the road was. This became evident at one point, as I was cruising along at 60 mph. I was cruising, doing fine, then all of a sudden I was off the road and on an exit ramp for a small backwoods town. I had no idea the exit ramp was coming up. All the signs had been covered up by snow and that irridescent white paint that we ALL take for granted was nowhere to be seen on any sign. So I go barrelling of the road onto a snowier exit ramp and I can't even tell where the exit ramp ends and the woods begin. Again, I start screaming "Oh Jesus Oh Jesus Oh Jesus!!!!!!" hoping for a repeat performance of the serendipitous car save earlier in the day. Well, wouldn't you know it, the Lord came through again! Though there were several inches of snow on the ramp, and there was no real possible way anyone could EVER stop on a dime, I came to pretty much a screeching halt and made it off the exit without dying . Somehow I regained my focus and made it another 30 miles back to my hotel.

What's the point of this whole story, I know you're dying to know (pun police, is that legit?). Well this entry has gotten too long, so I'm going to save the moral for another entry tomorrow. Stay tuned party people and you can all thank the Lord I'm alive. I know I am.