In regards to Keith's blog, let me put some CYA statements up to detract from his future blogs...he always appreciates that:
1) When I play Street Fighter 2, Satan actually takes over my body and I cannot be held responsible for whatever happens to controllers, Nintendoes, glass windows, cabinets, lamps, beer bottles, the ears of young innocent children in the next room. I cannot help it...stay tuned for the gritty details
2) Ikea is really sweet
3) Whatever Keith says about hating my pics on the blog, know that he's going to do something equally dubious and dastardly when I'm on vacation. So just remember to look at the speck in your own eye...
Ok with that said, I did have a real point to this blog. One of my favourite (British spelling) tele (british slang) programmes (British spelling) is the Late Show, with David Letterman. Few people have mastered the art of dry, redundant humor like Dave has. Hence, he is one of the few television icons that I actually attach some respect and/or admiration to. One of my favorite segments on Dave's show is "Is This Anything": the segment where Dave and Paul debate the inherent value and worth of some person, or thing, or performance right in front of the audience! They then wrap up their conversation and either agree that, indeed, the actual thing before them is something, or that is isn't anything. It's quite funny, and the elitist underpinnings of such a segment have to make you laugh.
So now that you know one of the reasons why I want to be Dave Letterman, take a second to play a little round of "Is This Anything" with yourself. Honestly, people... is this anything ? I still can't figure it out.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Who else you know can take 2 months off ...
Come back cold turkey and fly lids off. No, it's not Ma$e, one of the greatet rappers ever, but in fact it's me. It's official - I'm back. I haven't blogged since June 8th. It's a good thing Andrew has been here to carry the load and quite admirably might I add. But I digress. Things have been a little hectic around the old office lately. I've been putting in some killer long hours. Working past 4, whew that's tough now. I've had a lot of things happen during the two months away and plan to take them on one at a time. Mostly because it's good stuff, but also because it's a good way to keep me from blogging about politics.
So here are some quick hit points of what I'm going to blog about in the near future:
1.) Various lessons learned on my vacation / law school visit trip. I started in Pittsburgh, went to the middle of the state, down to Virginia Beach, and then ultimately to the city of Columbia, South Carolina.
2.) A whole blog dedicated to states that still fly the Confederate flag. What the crap is up with that?
3.) Andrew and I shopping/losing our manhood at Ikea, but furnishing our entire apartment at the same time.
4.) Nasa and space exploration in general.
5.) Andrew's anger and general demeanor while playing Street Fighter 2 Turbo.
6.) Why I hate Andrew for calling me a baby and the pictures he posted.
7.) Why Walmart is so horrible. Quit giving your money to communist China.
I think those are the high points I'm going to cover. But while I'm on it I'm going to rant for a brief moment. I'm going to take on Nasa for just a second. So Nasa sent another shuttle into space to repair the space station right? I ask you two questions:
1.) Who cares that it went? Virtually no one. Space travel has lost its luster and shine. Mostly because it happens more frequently. All people really want to know is did the shuttle get off the ground and did it return safely. We're doing the same old stuff. Fixing things going to the moon etc.
2.) Why then are we spending tons of money on things that don't work? We spend millions and billions of dollars for them to repair the space station and what do we get? We get this kind of garbage It makes me so angry. We spend all this money and we NEVER fix anything. How mad would you be if you went to Nissan, gave them a billion dollars, and asked them to make you a car. But then when they roll the car out something hits the bumper and the car catches on fire. They assure you that it can be fixed with another large sum of money, maybe a million dollars. So you say, ok it's so worth it to explore and see stuff, and I need to drive. But when they roll the car out again the same thing happens. The car catches on fire. It's absurd. And still NO ONE GETS ANGRY. People flip out when you cut taxes, or take $24,000 from an educational scholarship, but when you give a million dollars to something that fails no one cares.
Why does no one care? Is it that space travel is so worthless now? Is it that no one reads the articles anymore and has no clue what's going on? Why don't we let other people try to go to space and do a better job than NASA? Put out a memo and say, "Anyone who can put up a functioning satellite go for it." Or how about we do something cool like send PEOPLE to Mars. We send all these little roving probes there and people EAT IT UP. Maybe we can live on Mars. Maybe there is something cool there also. So we need to do one of two things. Scrap the space program. Which of course everyone doesn't want. Because it's soooooo cool to explore and see stuff. Or we go ahead and do stuff that matters. Let's inject a little life into the space program. At the same time let's quit sucking and wasting millions of dollars to fix nothing and on broken things. I'm not impressed enough by a rock from the moon to forget about the million dollars we just wasted.
Rant over. So that takes care of one of my topics. But for now NASA joins my boycott list just like Walmart, McDonalds, Budweiser, and Coors. I'm off to get some Sheetz. So good right now.
So here are some quick hit points of what I'm going to blog about in the near future:
1.) Various lessons learned on my vacation / law school visit trip. I started in Pittsburgh, went to the middle of the state, down to Virginia Beach, and then ultimately to the city of Columbia, South Carolina.
2.) A whole blog dedicated to states that still fly the Confederate flag. What the crap is up with that?
3.) Andrew and I shopping/losing our manhood at Ikea, but furnishing our entire apartment at the same time.
4.) Nasa and space exploration in general.
5.) Andrew's anger and general demeanor while playing Street Fighter 2 Turbo.
6.) Why I hate Andrew for calling me a baby and the pictures he posted.
7.) Why Walmart is so horrible. Quit giving your money to communist China.
I think those are the high points I'm going to cover. But while I'm on it I'm going to rant for a brief moment. I'm going to take on Nasa for just a second. So Nasa sent another shuttle into space to repair the space station right? I ask you two questions:
1.) Who cares that it went? Virtually no one. Space travel has lost its luster and shine. Mostly because it happens more frequently. All people really want to know is did the shuttle get off the ground and did it return safely. We're doing the same old stuff. Fixing things going to the moon etc.
2.) Why then are we spending tons of money on things that don't work? We spend millions and billions of dollars for them to repair the space station and what do we get? We get this kind of garbage It makes me so angry. We spend all this money and we NEVER fix anything. How mad would you be if you went to Nissan, gave them a billion dollars, and asked them to make you a car. But then when they roll the car out something hits the bumper and the car catches on fire. They assure you that it can be fixed with another large sum of money, maybe a million dollars. So you say, ok it's so worth it to explore and see stuff, and I need to drive. But when they roll the car out again the same thing happens. The car catches on fire. It's absurd. And still NO ONE GETS ANGRY. People flip out when you cut taxes, or take $24,000 from an educational scholarship, but when you give a million dollars to something that fails no one cares.
Why does no one care? Is it that space travel is so worthless now? Is it that no one reads the articles anymore and has no clue what's going on? Why don't we let other people try to go to space and do a better job than NASA? Put out a memo and say, "Anyone who can put up a functioning satellite go for it." Or how about we do something cool like send PEOPLE to Mars. We send all these little roving probes there and people EAT IT UP. Maybe we can live on Mars. Maybe there is something cool there also. So we need to do one of two things. Scrap the space program. Which of course everyone doesn't want. Because it's soooooo cool to explore and see stuff. Or we go ahead and do stuff that matters. Let's inject a little life into the space program. At the same time let's quit sucking and wasting millions of dollars to fix nothing and on broken things. I'm not impressed enough by a rock from the moon to forget about the million dollars we just wasted.
Rant over. So that takes care of one of my topics. But for now NASA joins my boycott list just like Walmart, McDonalds, Budweiser, and Coors. I'm off to get some Sheetz. So good right now.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
The 3 minute blog
Ok I have an appointment in 3 minutes so this is going to be a fast blog to satiate all you blog fans who have been DYING to see a new article on the table.
Well kids it looks like Keith isn't going to be blogging for a while. He is on vacation doing some heavy duty fishing and golfing. Somewhere in there I think he's going to go look at law schools, but who knows. Fishing sounds more fun than looking at law schools to me.
Also, in the past month or so, I found out something very important about Keith. He HATES it when you call him a baby! You can call him a baby about anything and he gets really pissed and starts to turn red. Here look:
typical conversation
Keith: Hey man I think I'm gonna crash
Andrew: What?
Keith: Yeah man, I'm tired and my head hurts
Andrew: Awwwww
Keith: Hey, you shut your mouth
Andrew: Hey, why don't you not be such a BABY!
Keith: I hate you, I hate you so much right now
Andrew: Hate me like a baby..
and so on and so forth the conversation goes until Keith just leaves the room. Granted it is a little immature, but you should see how pissed he gets!
Ok an appointment awaits. Here are some future blogs coming your way.
Ikea Death
Street Fighter 2 Can Eat Me
Har-Yu-Ken!!
Well kids it looks like Keith isn't going to be blogging for a while. He is on vacation doing some heavy duty fishing and golfing. Somewhere in there I think he's going to go look at law schools, but who knows. Fishing sounds more fun than looking at law schools to me.
Also, in the past month or so, I found out something very important about Keith. He HATES it when you call him a baby! You can call him a baby about anything and he gets really pissed and starts to turn red. Here look:
typical conversation
Keith: Hey man I think I'm gonna crash
Andrew: What?
Keith: Yeah man, I'm tired and my head hurts
Andrew: Awwwww
Keith: Hey, you shut your mouth
Andrew: Hey, why don't you not be such a BABY!
Keith: I hate you, I hate you so much right now
Andrew: Hate me like a baby..
and so on and so forth the conversation goes until Keith just leaves the room. Granted it is a little immature, but you should see how pissed he gets!
Ok an appointment awaits. Here are some future blogs coming your way.
Ikea Death
Street Fighter 2 Can Eat Me
Har-Yu-Ken!!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
"Highway to the..." where?!
This post is to drudge up an old feud that my ex-roomate Ryan McCracken and I had back in college. Ryan, as many of you know, is a Top Gun geek. The dude probably knows every line in the movie backwards and forwards. McCracken has even been seen occasionally moonlighting as call sign Maverick at social functions. It is because of McCracken's superious knowledge of Top Gun that we butt heads over one cryptic part of the movie. He maintains he has more in depth knowledge of one particular aspect of the movie, whereas I believe all his Top Gun knowledge has blinded him to the truth. I present to you now the debate over...
THE HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE!!
Maverick: Yeah...I always wondered where the danger zone is!
Goose: Here let me draw you a picture!
Now pay attention, kids, because this is where you get to submit your feedback. McCracken and I have long debated the story behind the Kenny Loggins song "Highway to the Danger Zone". What's obvious about the song is the fact that it's a rockin' 80's pseudo-metal hit that makes you want to play air guitar really badly. Actually, if you have never played Air Guitar while listening to "Highway to the Danger Zone", I question your ability to appreciate good music. So the Danger Zone, quite obviously, is a rock n roll classic.
What is more nebulous about "Highway" , however, is whether it's about flying a jet...or having SEX! Sounds pretty preposterous right? McCracken has long maintained that the song is an allegory for coital relations. I maintain what most rational human beings maintain...that it's just a rockin' guitar classic that makes you want to stand on your desk at work and pretend you're rockin' Wembley Arena with your fierce guitar wielding skills. Let's break down the song and I'll let you all side with me on this one:
"Highway to the Danger Zone"
Kenny Loggins
(verse 1)
"Revvin' up your engine
Listen to her howlin' roar
Metal under tension
Beggin' you to touch and go
(chorus 1)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone
(verse 2)
Headin' into twilight
Spreadin' out her wings tonight
She got you jumpin' off the deck
And shovin' into overdrive
(chorus 2)
Highway to the Danger Zone
I'll take youRight into the Danger Zone
(bridge)
You'll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
You'll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go
(air guitar solo!!)
(verse 3)
Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity
(last refrain)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Gonna take you
Right into the Danger Zone
Highway to the Danger Zone"
So there's the song. There are all the lyrcs, thanks to 365 lyrics and a few other places. And at this point, I will concede that there are some images that might contain slight sexual innuendo. HOWEVER! The overwhelming gyst of the song is about flying a plane. When was the last time a chick made you jump off a deck? Metal under tension? I don't think this song is about having sex with a robot woman. And "Highway to the Danger Zone"? Come on, McCracken. I don't get the innuendo there. I think there is clearly enough evidence (on top of the fact that the movie is about jet planes) to suggest that the song is not suggestive in any way. Highway to the Danger Zone? It's about flying a jet really fast. "Hanging with the Boys" (another slightly less rockin' Kenny Loggins Top Gun hit), however? Come on Kenny...
THE HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE!!
Maverick: Yeah...I always wondered where the danger zone is!Goose: Here let me draw you a picture!
Now pay attention, kids, because this is where you get to submit your feedback. McCracken and I have long debated the story behind the Kenny Loggins song "Highway to the Danger Zone". What's obvious about the song is the fact that it's a rockin' 80's pseudo-metal hit that makes you want to play air guitar really badly. Actually, if you have never played Air Guitar while listening to "Highway to the Danger Zone", I question your ability to appreciate good music. So the Danger Zone, quite obviously, is a rock n roll classic.
What is more nebulous about "Highway" , however, is whether it's about flying a jet...or having SEX! Sounds pretty preposterous right? McCracken has long maintained that the song is an allegory for coital relations. I maintain what most rational human beings maintain...that it's just a rockin' guitar classic that makes you want to stand on your desk at work and pretend you're rockin' Wembley Arena with your fierce guitar wielding skills
"Highway to the Danger Zone"
Kenny Loggins
(verse 1)
"Revvin' up your engine
Listen to her howlin' roar
Metal under tension
Beggin' you to touch and go
(chorus 1)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone
(verse 2)
Headin' into twilight
Spreadin' out her wings tonight
She got you jumpin' off the deck
And shovin' into overdrive
(chorus 2)
Highway to the Danger Zone
I'll take youRight into the Danger Zone
(bridge)
You'll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
You'll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go
(air guitar solo!!)
(verse 3)
Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity
(last refrain)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Gonna take you
Right into the Danger Zone
Highway to the Danger Zone"
So there's the song. There are all the lyrcs, thanks to 365 lyrics and a few other places. And at this point, I will concede that there are some images that might contain slight sexual innuendo. HOWEVER! The overwhelming gyst of the song is about flying a plane. When was the last time a chick made you jump off a deck? Metal under tension? I don't think this song is about having sex with a robot woman. And "Highway to the Danger Zone"? Come on, McCracken. I don't get the innuendo there. I think there is clearly enough evidence (on top of the fact that the movie is about jet planes) to suggest that the song is not suggestive in any way. Highway to the Danger Zone? It's about flying a jet really fast. "Hanging with the Boys" (another slightly less rockin' Kenny Loggins Top Gun hit), however? Come on Kenny...
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