I'm a man of my word

Bill, I told you I would send you props, so get yourself ready.




In a bold and daring move, Bill Clinton proved that he does more than just talk about individual 'rights and liberties'. After slapping his "Box the Box" label on his ahem, Venti Soy Triple Carmel Macchiato Extra Hot cup, Mr. Clinton proves that he not only talks the talk, but walks his walk...all the way to the bank! You just won yourself $2 (American) Mr. President! Upgrade!!

Just because I can

I could not pass up this opportunity to share a valuable web-resource with you all. Go here to this website to see what I'm talking about, people .

If you print this one out and put it on a coffee cup I'll give you $2 as well and well deserved props on our blog! Also save that picture and we'll post it so everyone can see it as well.

What time is it?

Time to admit change. I have known Andrew for roughly five years now. Ever since the first moment I have known several things about Andrew:

1.) Kid is crazy in love for Miami.
2.) Absolutely loves warm weather.
3.) Cool Christian with his head on straight even if he is a raging Calvinist.
4.) Swell guy (Gee thanks Mr. Wilson).
5.) He loves 311. See archived blogs for details.

I have never really enjoyed 311. They were too out there for me. Too many sounds that it seemed like they were unable to settle on one. Some good songs, but really zero radio play other than "All Mixed Up." I just wasn't sold, even through four years of friendship with Andrew. Until a couple of weeks ago.

So we move into our DIVE of an apartment and Andrew starts playing 311's live concert DVD all the time. So I watch their show little by little and song by song. One day I collapse on the couch after lifting (yeah I'm huge ... ok not really) and I start watching the DVD and it clicks. I finally like these guys. They're really talented musicians, they write their own stuff, and they're talented enough to play several styles. Nothing like rocking up a crowd, mellowing them out, and rocking out again. And their stuff is catchy. It has solid lyrics that last, not meaningless pop dribble. So while I think it's a bit of a farce they have a greatest hits CD, it's good stuff. I think a greatest hits CD, as my friend Josh suggests, you need to have sustained success for a decade or more, and numerous solid albums. 311 has a cult following for sure, but a greatest hits CD I'm not sure if they're qualified to relase that. Any way you slice it, I'm digging 311 a ton lately. I can't stop listening to them. So hats off to Andrew for staying the course, or beating down my resistance to them after all this time.

Other random comments that need mentioning:

1.) Sesame Street Debacle I can't believe that Sesame Street is changing Cookie Monster. Cookies are SOMETIMES FOOD! What's next, "C is for celery that's good enough for me!" People need to take responsibility. If you don't know that cookies make you fat you suck.

2.) In my tradition of reporting good news - Alonzo Mourning has donated his $300,000 salary from the Miami Heat to orphaned kids and children with kidney problems. Since he's suffered twice from kidney failure this is fitting.

3.) Some more intelligent Starbucks labels you can print out and put on your cup - great idea Andrew.

- "We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country." -- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

- "Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." -Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998 (That's long haha last one though I promise.)

- The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover. -- Al Franken (I can't believe I even put that)

- If you're a liberal, anything you say is protected. If you're a conservative, anything you say is hateful. -- Laura Schlessinger

- "Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15." --Ronald Reagan

- "If you're not a liberal at 20, you have no heart, and if you're not a conservative at 40, you have no head." -- Winston Churchill

- "A wise man's heart directs him toward the right, but a foolish
man's heart directs him toward the left." -- Ecclesiastes 10:2 (Can't argue with the Bible)

- One last one from Ronald and this one will turn heads

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."
--Ronald Reagan

- Vin Diesel's High School prank was Western Civilization. (Not really just a funny quote from the previously posted Vin Diesel site).

So take that Starbucks. What have we learned today guys? 311 is sweet, frivalous law suits against innane things are bad like the cookie monster, and giving money to kids is a good thing. Well I'm off to do stuff ... like make phone calls. I'm really impacting the world today - one call at a time.

I Can't Help It

I was all set to blog about something trivial. I just wanted to sit down and blog how much I love the NBA Playoffs. I was also going to throw in a paragraph about how Andrew has finally broken me and I love 311 now. I can't get enough of their music. Granted, they're not U2, but they do have some pretty good music. But then I got in the car and took a road trip to Columbus. While listening to talk radio I was tempted to pick up a USA Today.

Let me say I HATE USA Today. I get it free all the time thanks to Hampton Inn. It's a nice way to catch up on the news, but it's written for a third grader and it never gives the full side of the story. But today they found the other side of the story and actually ran it. Props to USA Today. For weeks they have been blasting Tom DeLay for his allegedly "unethical". I've stated on this blog before I can understand that. He may have messed up and had lobbyists pay for his travel. My case has always been this, "Why blast only DeLay when everyone does it?"

It's documented that Barbara Boxer does it. It's documented that Nancy Pelosi does it. Harry Reid does it for goodness sake. So why just point out DeLay? It's just Democrats avoiding facts and trying to gain ground. Quinn in the morning, a local conservative talk show personality always says, "Look at what Democrats are saying about Republicans, assuming about them, and that's what they're up to." If they say they're lying about service (i.e. Bush guard duty) then they probably are (i.e. Kerry and war stories). If they say they're misusing funds or being unethical, chances are they are themselves as well.

So USA Today finally runs the other side of the story today as well, and front page no less. The article outlines how travel by congressmen and congresswomen (all about equality here just like GCC and Title IX) is often paid privately. Since 2000 $16 million has been paid in private trips with half being paid / sponsored by non-profit groups. If Non-profits pay for the trips, the rule is they don't have to disclose who is paying for the trip. The rule goes that a lobbyist or a representative of foreign interst may not pay. That's the short of it all.

PoliticalMoneyLine did a survey of campaign finance and lobbying data and found out some of the following stats. Democrats took 3,025 such trips while Repubulicans took 2,375. DeLay took 14 trips, valued at $94,568 and was 28th on the list of money spent per trips. And Harold Ford, a democrat took the most trips 63. The Nancy Pelosi took a nice little trip to Puerto Rico that her aide said, "I was unaware that we had to document expenses." UNAWARE! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.

A quote from the article: "While ethics rules require lawmakers to try to find out and disclose who is paying for their trips, they often fail to do so, said Larry Noble of the Center for Responsive Politics an ethics watchdog group. 'It has become a don't ask dont' tell system,' Noble said."

So I make my point. I wanted to have a nice blog. But I couldn't stay silent on this. This is prime time example of facts being kryptonite, but only to the democratic party instead of the Republican party. This kid is so sick of the democrats pointing fingers and not answering questions when the fingers are pointed back. Tom DeLay messed up, but so did others. And darn it it's time they answered for it as well. I'm sick of the watchdog media just giving them a pass. I'm sick of Larry King asking soft questions. Then he gets a soft answer and doesn't follow up with the hard one. I'm tired of Dan Rather making stuff up and then passing the buck. I'm tired of Yahoo headlines sneaking in liberally slanted headlines and pictures of U.S. soliders serving their country honorably but Yahoo puts up a picture with kids crying. I'm tired of hearing news reported about how Iraq is a mess, and then meeting those who have served our country and they come back and say we're doing so much good. No longer should Democrats get a pass. Apparently they screwed up this time as well and if they're going to fry DeLay then some of them need to fry as well.

Blam! Rant over. No one's perfect, let's see it from both sides this time. Next time I'm going to blog fun and lighthearted ... I promise. Sometimes things get lit under me and you just have to rant. And oh yeah, by the way, the Surreal Life on VH1 is such a gay show.

Quick Link

Wow. I just stumbled across maybe the funniest website I've seen in ages. A friend of mine sent me this link to random facts about Vin Diesel. You know Vin Diesel right? He's the actor of former XXX glory, as well as Chronicles of Riddick, and more recently The Pacifier. He's really a horrible actor, but quite possibly one of the hardest guys ever to roam the free earth. Just keep hitting refresh for new facts. I bet you laugh for like an hour like I did. And I only saw a repeat fact once. If you don't know who Vin Diesel is, sorry, but this is RICH. Without further delay ... Vin Diesel Facts

Since I hear Keith's guffaw across the office

Keith's over in his office and he's in stitches laughing at this one website. It reminded me of one particular website that really used to make me chuckle. I know some of you will remember this one from a few years back. And more importantly, I know some of you danced around in your dorm room to the blazin' midi track. LAUGH!!!

I'll give you philosophical ideas!

Philosophical debate?!

Someone at Starbucks(TM) has finally bought into their own pretentious cult of personality! I admittedly stole this link from Lillet and Treigh, but I had thoughts about this earlier this week as I cruised around NYC.

And for those of you steeped in Andrew and Keith blog lore, you know that this past week I was supposed to hang out wit our arch rivals Lillet and Traa. Actually Lillet and Treiy have stopped responding to all comments that we make on their blogs. But that's fine because we have Anon now, and the "I hate you! Don't leave me" symdrome continues.

Anyway, Starbucks has started printing liberal garbage on the side of their cups. If you read the article above, you'll know what I mean. I was walking around Manhattan this past week wondering to myself how I got sucked into Starbucks, why I was being a total totebagger , and why on earth was I gulping down these liberal philsophies graffittied on the side of my Grande Carmel Macchiato, Extra hot?

I still am not sure about those answers, but in order to counter Starbucks' pretentious political innuendo aimed at 'creating philosophical discussion', I will create my OWN philosophicalizing triggers for you. What you can actually do is take these, copy and paste them onto a label that you can print out from Microsoft Word, and then carry some of them around with you. When you go to Starbucks, whip some of them out of your pocket or purse or totebag or whatever and slap them over the stupid crap that's printed on your cup. That way when someone looks over at your cup and tries to start a philosophical debate with you, you will already have the upper hand! Tada!!

So take heed my friends for I am about to batter you with knowledge that is easily transfered onto Starbucks cups. (by the way if anybody does this I swear I want you to take a picture of it and I'll give you 2 bucks, I swear. That's 2 AMERICAN dollars.)

1) "Where everybody is a Christian, nobody is a Christian" -Alexander Solzheneitzen (sp?)

2) "It all depends on what yor definittion of 'is' is" -Bill Clinton

3) "I'm a stuck up douche bag who actually says "Tall" instead of "Small" when ordering cappuccios" -Anonymous Starbucks Drinker's Conscience

4) "Quit staring at my crotch!" -Andrew (I say this all the time, I'm so sick of being treated as a piece of meat)

5) "Do stuff to it" -Drew Martin (he originally coined the phrase)

6) A majority is a majority dummy.

7) "You...you've got what I need. But you say he's just a friend, yeah you say he's just a friend. OH BABBBYYY YOOUUUUU..." -Biz Markie

8) "I don't think anyone has sued Starbucks for having coffee that's too hot yet. Let's band together and commit insurance fraud!" -Anon



So there are some starter quotes. Maybe I'll think of some more good ones and get them out to you soon. For now...ROCK FIST!

Scrolling Down ...

Scrolling down long comment chains suck. A lot of commenting happened while I was out of town. A few brief, I'll try I promise, comments. I hate to keep isolating Anon, but you just keep flying by with untrue statements.

1.) You agree with Coulter that Timothy McVeigh should have instead blown up The New York Times building because they publish facts with which you don't agree. Nice! I said two things: The Times sucks. I don't care that they publish things I don't agree with. I care when they ignore stories that are true, and reported by everyone but them, but since they are liberal refuse too. News is news - report it. Two you're taking her quotes out of context. When this is done it makes things look worse. Nice try.

2.) I don't want all Throckmortons teaching. I never had him. But I don't want professors that say we deserved to die in 9-11. There's a place for people like that, in a cave with Osama. How about a little support for our nation? Is that too hard to ask from him? Didn't think so.

3.) Dems ain't perfect either but at least they are based in Reality. Facts are Kryptonite to Republicans, I understand that. I'm curious, though: what do you consider credible news sources? Are they faith-based? Facts are Kryptonite ... haha. That's rich. Like when Barbara Boxer was confronted with questions about specific facts that she had done just what Delay is being accused of. Remember that? She ignores the question and points the finger at Delay. That my friend is ignoring facts. And Dems rule at it. And not all credible news sources must be faith based. I go by - CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, Us News and World Report, and various local newspapers. I don't watch Christian TV - it's awful, and I don't subscribe to Christian publications. You can now get off me.

4.) It's also a question of scale -- and btw, that's 32.5 k a year for Boxer's son, which is, well, probably not overpaying -- and what the offspring in question did for the dough. Nothing unethical as long as it's on a smaller scale or you can explain it away. Notice a theme here anon? Both sides make mistakes. The Democrats, since a lot exist in media, get a free pass. No one asks the hard follow up of The Box when she fails to answer. Way to explain away her mistake as a small scale one. She needs to own up as well.

5.) Andrew explained that we do follow Title IX. I told you it's not about the gender issue, it's about not taking money from the government. We have plenty of girls sports, and as you see more than men. We're not some community that still has women churning butter alright? Blam in ya' face.

6.) Some girl who had a bad experience there with some dudes and Jesus in general. This is the most disgusting statement at all. That you could coldly minimize a tragedy like that and insinuate that it must be the woman's fault is lower than low. The bold was my previous statement. You misconstrued it. I was merely referring to something on a simple level. Like a girlfriend who'd been dumped by her boyfriend and went into a religious funk after that when her friends in Campus Crusade couldn't help her out of it. In no way was I referring to anything more traumatic. I've had some of those traumatic issues occur within my own life and family and wouldn't joke about them. But thanks for assuming the worst of me.

You see Anon - Amanda has been right all along, and Andrew and I because we're never wrong. Both sides mess up. In the end I just believe that at least Republicans have a better plan to fix America. So therefore I hope I can elect people in who not only will be a good example (which doesn't always happen) and people who will enact that plan. Everyone abuses power, everyone falls short, everyone has issues. I just feel that in the past, and recently, Republicans have a better plan, work within their means, and aren't out of touch with the majority of America. You can go ahead and run with some comment blasting me on homosexuality and abortion there, feel free. But don't just come back making hate filled statements about how we suck more than you and Grove City blows. It's doing something right that you researched it or spent time there. We're slowly turning you to the light my friend. I'm off to bed because it's wicked late and church comes early - yeah that's a faith based news source for those of you keeping score at home.

Refer to Anon's comments

Back on Keith's blog not about my birthday.

Yeah let's think another way than in a linear fashion.

As far as I know, there are many institutions of high education in American. nearly 100% of them tow the same "I'm the same as you. Your ideas are as valid as mine. We are all the same, and truth is relative, so swallow the filth I promulgate" line. That's linear thinking...actually maybe it's not linear, maybe it takes the form of a spiral-a steep downward one at that.

Grove City College takes a stand for independence. Grove City takes a stand to teach in a different way, and you blast them for it? Tow your own line!! If you're all in favor of independent thinking and thinking outside the box, then recognize that GCC is a revolutionary college institution...that is unless you're scared that your fascade 'education' will collapse on itself if outside thinking is allowed. Grove City does follow title 9 in regards to sports...actually wait we don't, because we have 9 mens varsity sports and 10 girls sports. Maybe we have as many club sports for women as we do men. And maybe we follow title 9 and your idiot mouth won't stop flapping long enough for you to find out. I'll give you a link: www.gcc.edu.

For as much as you sound the trumpet of facts as dieties, you delude yourself into thinking Throckmorton isn't onto something. I understand that his research is incredibly controversial to gay people. But for the rest of America that believes homosexuality isn't genetic and just isn't natural (Anon...in the out hole? You can't tell me that's normal), Throckmorton's research is a refreshing contrast to constantly being bombarded by the homosexual social agenda. Being a psychology major myself (yes that's right, I know everything about psychology) I was privy to research by a lot of credible sources on homosexuality. NOT A ONE CREDIBLE SOURCE HAS EVER DOCUMENTED THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS GENETIC AND UNCONTROLLABLE!!! NOT ONE!!! If you have bought into the myth that homosexuality is inherently genetic and that no one can control their feelings for one sex or another, you've bought into a huge social lie. there are just no facts, Anon, to support it. Here is your opportunity to digest a fact. Stop. Meditate. Repeat after me "Dang it Andrew is right, again. I should really take a dose of my own medicine and try to start digesting facts from reluctant sources and get over my own prejudices and hate for these guys". It's really not that hard, according to yourself.

FURTHERMORE!!! I was just informed by a number of people over the past week that our blog is slowly growing a cult following! I can't tell you how much that makes me want to crap myself with happiness! Thanks for reading our blog, you silent majority, and thanks for telling people to read it. I would encourage you to continue to read, post, and read some more.


LAST OFF!!!!! This blog is about self respect...take a look at what I'm wearing, people. Do you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face with these bad boys on? Forget about it!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I would just like to tell everyone in Blog land that half of our staff ... ok that's really just Andrew, has his birthday today. So feel free to wish him a Happy Birthday. Of course Anon will probably make it some snide comment, but that's cool, we welcome it because at least we have dialogue now. So Happy B-day Drew - that's Donkey Patrol for those of you keeping score at home.

Secondly I just want to gripe for a minute. I've been saving money for three years to go to the world cup in Germany next summer. Despite the fact that it's a liberal marxist American hating hole, the holy grail of soccer will be held there. So I have saved $3,500 up for air fare, tickets, food, etc. So my buddies and I put in our application for tickets and we find out today if we get them. Well wouldn't you know they had too many applications and we don't get any tickets. I've been saving for THREE FLAMING YEARS! What in the world is going on here? America hates soccer. So now the team gets good and everyone jumps on the bandwagon. I've been doing things correctly for three years and acting responsibly, and I get screwed. This totally sucks and I may now hate sports because of it. This could be the turning point. I have much more success when I loaf and just have things fall in my lap.

Lastly in my tradition, sort of, of reporting good deeds, I saw one today that made me glow. While sitting and reading down at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore a few kids were playing with a miniature basketball. One brother took it and threw it away from his brother and of course it bounced away and into the water. So the kids are crying, Dad is upset, and no one knows what to do. So the homeless guy is there, and he takes off his coat, fully clothed, and climbs down the ladder, putting his legs on the bottom rung and in the water. He reaches out with his coat, and is able to drape it over the ball and pull it towards himself. He grabs it, climbs out soaking wet from the knees down, and gives it to the kid. Everyone is amazed, the kid hugs him and thanks him and everyone just breaks out into applause. And for one moment in time, the barrier of the haves and the haves not is broken. It was quite a moving moment actually and a very good deed that deserved mentioning, even if only in blog land. Alright kids I'm off to bed. Good night all and Happy Birfday Drew.

So the problem is ...

So the problem is that I've been agitated since about comment 18 on Andrew's post. At some point Anon decided to quit making crappy comments like, "Why don't you sit on your face donkey boy. Go fight in the war!" and he made ones that were politcally charged ... and false. Now I know that politics tends to be a circular argument and no one ever gets anywhere, but these were just so out there that I had to try to touch on them briefly. I hate circular arguments with all my heart, but here we go. Anon's previous comments in italics.

1.) "Racism is going to be an open wound until it's treated and allowed to heal. It seems, though, that your party just won't do its part in the healing--it's just too useful a political tool." Interesting that "my party" which is the republican party just won't let it heal. Never mind the fact that George Soros and his groupies from moveon.org were the ones running certain commercials in the innercity targeting african americans. These emotionally charged spots suggested that, "... when Bush and his big money white boys get in the white house again they're going to institute a draft. Don't get played." That's just an excerpt. But DON'T say republicans open the wound, because Democrats exploit it time and time again because it's the one category of vote they can count on in the past. Forget the fact that Bush has several African American's in places of prominence in his cabinet ... Republicans are racist right? How many did Clinton have again? Yeah that's what I thought ...

2.) "Bigotry against gays goes hand in hand with that. Rove did a great job at making that an election issue, though I'm thinking he might have lost your vote if they'd come out against hot TV lesbians." Let's get one thing straight. Karl Rove is a genius. This is evident by the fact that he runs a killer campaign. It's so wrong and bigoted that he posed a question relevant to America during an election year. He did raise it as an election issue; I'll give you that. It's not bigoted though that the people of America want to uphold Biblical values and traditional American families. It's bigoted that democrats call for tolerance and everyone to have their own beliefs and equality - yet when Republicans or Christians try to have a viewpoint it's bigoted. Heaven forbid we be allowed to have an opinion. Only the Democrats are. I'm sorry America wants to hold values, but it's no way bigoted. And Americans came out to vote for it. Chalk one up for Mr. Rove. Lesbians aren't hot by the way ... i.e. Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres. Lastly I don't hate or think less of homosexual people. I do think it's morally wrong, but I'm not going to ignore homosexual people or send them to Iceland. But seriously, has anyone seen what Man thigh looks like? How can another dude like that?

3.) "Equal rights for women? Something tells me that you think that's unnecessary and that you would agree that the state should tell women what they can do with their own bodies." I don't even know where this comment came from. But women have rights. I'm all for it. They just don't have the right to kill anyone. Last time I checked no one in our country did. Abortion is beat and you know it.

4.) "And voter intimidation and suppression in the last couple of elections are just fictions that the Michael Moore wing of the left made up, right?" Wow voter intimidation. I'm going to go Hannity on you here, which I'm sure you love, and ask you to show me one instance of a republican intimidating a voter. Then I'll listen to your argument. Because when I went to vote several things happened. No one was being intimidated. The sample ballot that was out showing people how to vote had Kerry and Edwards marked on it. That's no swaying anyone though. Finally people were everywhere asking if I understood how to operate the machinery. And frankly if you can't figure out how to work a machine, I don't want your vote to count ... whatever side it may be for. If you can't pull a lever, punch a hole, or push a button you shouldn't be able to decide who runs the country. The only voter intimidation is misleading commercials and funding run by big money givers to the democratic party. Misleading commercials that say Bush is supressing the African American vote and African American rights. When in reality he's promoting people of color left and right. What a farce. George Soros can eat me, he gave more singlehandedly than the top three givers of the republican party combined. Then he just made up facts. Point out voter intimidation that the Republicans did then we'll talk.

5.) "And your vitriol about the ACLU-- ACLU has become a codeword for "New York Jew", doncha know. You might want to look at that. And then you might want to send them 50 bucks for their work against the excesses of the Patriot Act." I hate the ACLU. It has such potential and is a decent idea. It also could does some good. Very very little good. Here's the problem I have with the ACLU. They have gone completely off the deep end. Here's a current example of some of the ACLU problems. They have sent some representatives down to Arizona to work with the Minute Men that we have patrolling the borders. Now that sounds like a noble cause. But they've stated that they're there to protect the rights of the illegal immigrants who are caught! Since when do people breaking the law and sneaking into a country they have no residency in have rights!?!? These people should be kicked back across the border! So they find no wrongdoing in any way shape or form. So what do they do, try to create a scene and get the Minute Men to retaliate. They have gone up to them in pitch black and blasted a spot light on their face. They give them the finger. They blast loud noises to wake them up. It's unbelievable. They're defending ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. Give me a break. This is just a MICROCOSM of what they do. I'm not only going to get into the iffy practice of Affirmative Action. It's not reverse racist to hire a man because of his skin color. Same type person, same credentials, same experience, yet one guy is African American so he gets hired. It's unbelievable actually. Good man Kender comments from time to time here and has a blog http://www.stoptheaclu.blogspot.com/ He goes into detail and I'm going to piggy back him since he's done the leg work. But they seriously may warrant their own blog soon. The ACLU is a joke.

The Patriot Act is sweet. I have no problem if the government can see if I'm checking out a book entitled, "How to make a bomb." I have no problem if the government can check out my file. Maybe it will save a couple thousands lives. I don't care about offending a few people along the way to save the innocent lives of thousands. Is the Patriot Act perfect? No. But it's better than the nothing act. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. The Democrats haven't figured this out yet though. Let's not talk about homosexuality. It'll just fix itself. Let's not talk about Sandy "Pants" Berger who stuffed documents in his pants that were incriminating of Clinton and his lack of inaction. Let's not talk about the fact that Bush Promotes people of color. Let's not talk about the fact that the only people who suggested a draft in congress were Barbara Boxer and what's his name that escapes me now from Minnesota. If we just say it was a Bush idea we can get away with it right? Let's not talk about the fact that Kerry has still yet to produce medical records and better yet let's forge some for Bush and run them on CBS. You can't ignore things and expect them to get better. Social Security is another prime example. Bush must be lying. So let's not do anything and see where we are in 25 years. IT'S GOING TO BE SO SWEET WHEN I HAVE GIVEN THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO AN EMPTY ACCOUNT! Inaction is bad - Patriot Act = Sweet.

6.) "And hey, Whoops! No WMD! People make mistakes" I'm not sure where to begin on this one. Part of me believes there still could be WMD. Sadam knew we were coming and heaven knows there are enough terrorist nations around him to help out. But you'd laugh at that so I'll go elsewhere. Hard to argue with someone who is not really logical or reasonal. Iraq was still a threat, and had massive capabilities to produce WMD. Not really mentioned in mainstream media, but they have found all kind of explosive cake powder, or a couple of trucks that were sneaking chemical materials across the Syrian border. No one really covers all that though. Kind of curious ... Dan Rather anyone? Point two we did manage to liberate a country along the way. You want to gripe, as aforementioned, about women's rights. That country had none and now they can vote and have more rights than they ever dreamed. Lastly and most importantly EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY HAD WMD. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1051684/posts Look at all the Democrats that thought they had them as well. If you're going to nail Bush for saying they had WMD and they didn't, then nail all these Democrats as well. It was bad intelligence not something manufactured for a war that Bush wanted to fight. Everyone thought we were at risk. Everyone ... do you get that now. Hard to say Bush made it up when everyone believed it isn't it?

7.) "Y'know, a hitch in Iraq might be just the thing you need to clear your head. But I expect you'll just keep on with your casual and smug bashing of the party of social and economic justice, the pile of Cheeto™ crumbs on your lap growing ever higher." Cheetos suck. I prefer good chips and salsa. You seem to forget that support comes in many packages. I constantly pray for those fighting overseas, send financial support, respect and thank all who fight for us, or buy a hot meal for any that I see in restaurants or out in public anywhere. I know several people who have fought overseas and they are incredibly brave men and women who are to be honored. So I'm not going to stoop and say something ignorant about the war. So many thanks to all who fight for our country and freedom. I believe Amanda has sufficiently stated why we haven't chosen to enlist. If you want to be ignorant and call it lazy that's fine. Belittle me, it's really mature, logical, rational arguing. That's all you seem to be capable of.

There is my defense of my political beliefs. Am I saying the Republican party is perfect? Heck no. But I believe it's the best thing we have going right now. And sometimes we have to use broken vessels to fix things. For my money, that vessel is the Republican party. Wow ... long blog ... dang it I said I wouldn't do that anymore. I'm off to read the new Ann Coulter book ...

In case you hadn't noticed, you lazy readers

There's quote the discussion going on about "Where Blood and Fire..." you should get off the couch and contribute. That's all I have to say for now, other than that I'm glad Anonymous finally came out of her shell.

Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest and Peace is a song not about war, by the way. I just thought the title was appropriate for your consideration of civil war.

While I've got your Attention with that Abe Lincoln Racist stuff...

You all know I'm a huge fan of Arrested Development on Fox. The show is revolutionary in its approach to sitcom TV. The story line, though cracked out, is also a trip to follow. And Portia DeRossi, while a crunchy lesbian, is a flaming hot crunch lesbian. But in all seriousness the show has garnered praise from a ton of critics and has even won an Emmy! WOW!

Sadly Fox is thinking about canceling Arrested Development. I guess killing the goose that lays the golden egg is en vogue these days, but I'm not going to stand it. I want you, my fellow Americans, to go get arrested and endorse the show! Tell all your friends! If we rise up and slap Fox around, maybe they won't cancel the show. If you doubt that this is the funniest show on television, you can try to explain to me which show is better, and why. I guarantee that you will be wrong.

Maybe it's time for another renegade crusade to spread the word!!!!!!!!!!

Sneaky Suspicion

When reading Andrew's hilariously titled blog, "Kick her in the box(er)" I could only chuckle. I know exactly what he's talking about, and I know exactly why he hates Barbara Boxer. Allow me to attempt to explain his viewpoint if I may. I believe it is similar to mine, and if I'm incorrect at any point Andrew feel free to blog and correct me.

Point one and the shallow one first. She's a liberal from one of the top three liberal of states, California. Now that I got the juvenile reason out of my system, allow me to go deeper. Barbara, no she's not fitting of a first name basis, you see Boxer here falls prey to what a large degree of extreme democrats do, avoiding facts. Allow me to explain you're seeing an extremely vulnerable side of me here. I'm actually admitting there is a difference between extreme democrats and moderate ones. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you know me, you understand I like to paint in broad sweeping brushstrokes known as stereotypes.

But Boxer falls under the category of legitimate flaming liberal. She's just irrational, outspoken, and pardon me but wrong. She falls down on the harsh / intrusive side of every issue one could possibly imagine. For example when the Democrats wanted to challenge the Presidential vote and keep Bush from being inaugurate. Remember that? Who do you think led the charge? That's right Barbara stinking Boxer.

Who supports the increase of minimum wage? Boxer. Look, I'm all for people making more money. But raising minimum wage is not going to help tons of people. That extra dollar an hour while eighteen year old Jimmy is working at Sheetz or BP isn't going to help a ton. You know what it is going to do? Force union workers to get an easy pay raise. Most people in a union have a clause in the contract saying that they get a pay raise when minimum wage increases. So we're not giving hard working Americans who deserve it a pay raise, we're giving it to lazy union workers. I've worked for a union once, don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Way to go Boxer.

Should I keep going or do you have a sufficient picture? Here's a few quickies:

1.) She supports buying lower prescriptions from Canada? (yet she blasts republicans for outsourcing.)
2.) She supports healthcare for all ... so when you have cancer it takes you five months to see a doctor ... like Canada.
3.) Supports abortion ... hot topic I'm not touching that in this blog, but how about we don't kill babies.
4.) Finally she's for increasing gas prices. Ok that's a slippery slope on my part. But she doesn't want us to drill for oil in Alaska because it's bad for wetlands and animals. Thanks Boxer but that extra dollar in minimum wage will cover my rocketing gas prices.

What puts me over the edge is not just that she's wrong, a lot of people in America are wrong, but she's shamelessly wrong. She won't let you get a word in edgewise. If anyone has paid attention to the news you'd know we're attempting to appoint a new ambassador to the UN (yeah that horrible governing weakness that is the United Nations that's a whole other blog) named John Bolton. He's sitting before a committee to be voted on. So "the box" is grilling him with questions similar to, "How can you be an ambassador to the UN when in the past you said the UN was weak and non-existent?" That's a paraphrase, but her question was very similar.

What typically follows a question? A response from the person you asked the question to. But not in Boxer land. She just beligerently barrels through not letting the committee, or America for that matter, to hear his response. Now despite the fact that Republicans support him, I don't know what to think of the guy because I never got to hear his answer. Thanks for dissuading most of America with your ignorance Boxer. Thanks for not letting them hear a man give his answer or side of the story. Now people who can't think for themselves will assume he's bad for the job instead of deciding for themselves after hearing his answer. Thanks for being ignorant, brash, and flat out wrong. Typical raging liberals always just jumping on the wrong and irrational side. This man doesn't need to be a friend to the UN or kiss up to its corruptness. This man needs to get across the views, opinions, cases, and needs to the UN in a diplomatic way. Now we'll never quite know what to think. Thanks again ya' Box.

Kick her in the Box(er)

It's official, I can't stand Barbara Boxer.

MOREOVER! If I was standing on a corner on any given street in America, and saw Barbara Boxer standing on the other side of the street, I would not even wave at her.

FURTHERMORE!!! If Barbara Boxer started walking across the street and then a car, nay, dumptruck came careening down the street and ran her over, I would not call 911. I would look to my left, look to my right, maybe point at the smear on the pavement and say "Woah look at that!", but call 911? Far be it from me!

AND THEN OFF!! IF in the event Barbara Boxer was not dead, just brain-dead and placed on a feeding tube, I would stand out in front of her hospice and advocate the removal of that odious death-preventing advice. I'd even send my little kids in to unhook her adn then watch them get taken to jail. I'd do it too!

LASTLY!!!!!!!!!!! This hotel that I'm staying in blows. The walls are so paper thin that the conversation of what I can only guess are 17-19 year old girls in the room adjacent to mine is now, unbeknownst to them, my business. I can't even turn the TV one and have it cover up their talk, and they're not screaming over there. At this point I don't know which is worse-hearing those stupid girls laugh and giggle and talk about what "top looks good with those jeans...", or hearing the people on the OTHER side of me banging. Be it giggling or banging, I have a feeling that I'm not going to sleep so super tonight.

In case Barbara Boxer is reading this, hyperbole is the name of the game (for all you are concerned).

Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest and Peace

Ok so I stole that line from my boys in Zao from an album that they put out a few years back. But it does have bearing with what I did today...

Today I was driving through Maryland and decided to take a detour. While I was headed on towards Germantown, I decided to stop off at the Antietam Battle Field. For those of you not steeped in Civil War knowledge, Antietam was the single bloodiest day in the Civil War. At Antietam:
1) On Sept. 17, 1962 over 6,900 Americans ended each others lives in less than 24 hours
2) Houses, barns, churches, and alleyways were used as receptacles for expired soldiers
3) It was said by some of the survivors that one could walk across Antietam farm and not have their foot touch earth...there were that many dead people.
4) More soldiers were killed at Antietam than in all other American wars of the 19th century...yeah, the whole 19th century.

(these facts come curtosy of Jeff Dreier, civil war guru)

"So what?", you ask. Well I'll tell you what. Having two feet in what was at once the largest American mass grave is an experience that few in our generation take. Sitting in the middle of a corn field where Americans willingly cut clean one another's souls from their mortal confines is an experience that more people will pass over. When people look back on our history-or at least when out post-modern, revisionist culture looks back at history-it seems to me there are two huge ink splotches on the fabric of American history that no one wants to talk too much about: 1) the abuse of minorities (indians, blacks, japanese) by the White Americans, and 2) the Civil War.

It's tempting in our day and age to dismiss the errors in judgment of our predacessors as things gone by; we wave the thought of them away like we would an annoying bee which keeps trying to land on our food and spoil our self-indulgent picnic. But people, you need to look at the reality that our country is united today because patriots fought and died in the Civil War. Because the edifice of our country was littered with corpses of our own people, we now have cause to look back and say "We have learned the lesson. Never again will division turn brother against brother in mortal combat". Because the cornfields of Antietam were saturated with the blood of Patriots, we now have a solid foundation on which to learn a lesson, love our brother, and be thankful that no one in our generation is capable of imagining such horror. The old guard fought it out to teach us something. The only problem is we're either too busy, or too self righteous to see it.

However, I'd encourage you that the next time the ghost of our history is exhumed in your mind, find an outlet for contemplation and reflection. You don't have to drive over to Antietam, or Gettysburgh, or Manassas to think about where we've been and how we've been so blessed as a nation to be where we are now. Our history serves to help remind us of who we are. Stop trying to cover up your identity; instead be an agent of change to be woven into the not yet completed tapestry of history which will one day be 2005.

And while we're on the Civil War:
1) No, the Civil War was not fought over slavery but over states rights, honestly..
2) No, Abe Lincoln did not 'free the slaves'. If my memory serves me correctly, he was as bigoted towards the slaves as were his Confederate contemporaries. Revisionist history doesn't teach you that, does it?

Bad Blogger

I haven't blogged since Monday. Am I the only one who feels slightly raunchy when I use blog as a verb? I don't know why, but some part of me feels dirty for saying, "I haven't blogged in a while." I need to get over it. I'm just going to be brief, because I realize that my blogs are too long. I also promised that I wouldn't just ramble and blog things of little importance, so why waste your time and mine.

I just got back from the armpit of America that is West Virginia. Wheeling is so sad. Don't tell me it has the dog track and so therefore it's sweet. Most of those kids aren't going to get out of that town, will settle in it, and never know the potential each and every one of them has. It makes me want to go light the whole town on fire. If you turn on your news and hear the anchorman ... or woman ... say something like, "In what can only be considered an act of terrorism the whole town of Wheeling, WV went up in flames today. The police have no leads, but it started at the dog track." I ask you do disavow all knowledge of this blog and never mention it to anyone.

Here's my one question for the day. It kind of takes on two forms. Form one - is it bad to be a semi-heartless person? Form two - is it bad to care too much? The reason I ask is that as you may know Andrew and I work in an admissions office at Grove City College. After getting attached to some of the kids I met and interviewed it was hard for me when they didn't get in or didn't get offered financial aid or something like that. You care about them and want to see them do well, at least some of them. So when it kind of sucked, I tried to not get emotionally attached at all. A kid contacts me upset now and I don't really care as much, because I didn't let myself think, "This kid is so sweet I hope he gets in ... or she ..." So now I'm a semi-heartless person. I took a phone call today though from a girl who didn't get some scholarship that we offer for merit, and darn it, I felt sorry for her. I don't even know her, someone else interviewed her, but for a second I felt sad. I guess I don't know which is worse, to be legitimately bummed for her (which makes me a lame lame sap who cares too much) or to not give a crap and be a heartless jag off. Give me your opinion. For those ladies out there who read our blog ... I think only Amanda man we suck in the ladies department maybe cause I'm sexist and always refer to men but I threw you anchorwoman today duh .... anway, if you're a woman who reads our blog, how do you honestly feel about dudes that are sappy messes? Do you like that? Do you long for rugged men that want to go kill stuff and hit it with sticks? Let me know. Alright I'm off to go either smoke a killer cigar or play video games

The life of a guy ...

The Renegade of (Latin) Funk!

I'm going on a personal quest to help a brother (hermano) out (afuera). This past summer I found one of the most invaluable internet resources ever. It was a site that I frequented daily, and it made every single day (dia) better because of the fact that I visited this site.

"Andrew what the heck kind of site would that be!?!?"

Ok I'll tell you. For those of you who possess a love for all things Hispanic (food, music, movies, culture, women, etc.), I highly recommend that you go to Batanga .com for some awesome Latin vibes. What is most exemplary about this site is their internet radio! RADIO!! Whether you're a fan of Cuban salsa, Latin Jazz, or Urban Latin Hip Hop, you have to check out Batanga. I rocked out to Batanga's Latin Jazz station all summer, and have just recently re-discovered (redescubri) the site.

In order to tell the world how sweet this place is, I'm invading anyone else's blog that I can find to post comments about how sweet batanga is. Go check it out for yourself, and if you're lucky, maybe my renegade attack will hit your website soon (I have no idea how to say 'website' en espanol).

ROCK!

The Dregs of Society

No, this isn't a rant about indigent bums who panhandle for money to buy booze. Although I did find out when I was in Seattle, that sometimes bums there will get drunk just so they fall over and get hurt. Upon receiving injuries, the paramedics and police and everyone else who has a car with lights on it comes to the scene to take the bums either to a hospital or jail. I think this is pretty innovative of bums. No longer do they need to commit petty felonies to be taken to jail, they can just keel over drunk and get a nice hot meal in jail, thanks to Andrew Smith and his tax dollars. I guess it's kind of a testament to rugged individualism...sort of, thought I have a feeling Fred J. Turner might not agree.

No, I am not writing to rant about bums who take my tax money, I'm writing to talk about how I am in the dregs of society, i.e. a resident of Grove City, PA. Let me picture for you what my house looks like, and then my neighborhood. It helps to highlight the fact that I'm surrounded by society's finest...finest derelicts!!! My house is about as old as the Brady Bunch, if not older. Some of the rooms have wood paneling, and some dont'. Some of the rooms have "green beer vomit Green" carpet (and yes I do know what that looks like thanks to the Luck O' the Irish this year...great) and some have poop brown carpet. My house is insulated with the oldest insulation known to man, and that insulation consists of cold air between fragments of drywall. So further solidify the fact that my apartment is a crap heap, there is some wood on the door hinges to the basement.

"Wait wait wait, Andrew...don't you mean a wooden door on the hinges?"

No people, I mean rotten-pieces-of-wood-that-used -to-be-a-door is on the door hinges to the basement. And while you're thinking about that, yes, that does mean cold air is incessantly flowing into our house, keeping the gas thermostat constantly on, and keeping our gas bill consistently over $250. I live in a house that should be occupied by a indigent drunkard who can't hold down a job, and who beats his buck toothed common law wife for a self esteem boost between hits of heroin. But I live there instead.

You know what I'm not even going to talk about my neighborhood, because every house on my block follows suit. I don't know if it's worse that this place is a trash pile, or that I volunteer to live there and furthermore, pay to live there. There's certainly something to be said for living the bachelor lifestyle where you don't care where you live, and you scrape by from paycheck to paycheck. That's part of life and growing up, unless you're an engineer or business whiz and make tons of cash out of school. Then you don't have to worry about anything, right? Yes. But I think my apartment honestly scares people away. I think my apartment is actually such a dive that people are averse to coming over, save maybe Courtney and Carly and a few others who make it out a lot. If you want to come over and see possibly the worst apartment in America (though we did get some sweet, sweet artwork) you can come over and check it out yourself. Any feedback you have to offer about how to make it more hospitable would be much appreciated.

On a positive note, I have been sick for the past week; now, however I feel a lot better. Anon, can I get a sarcastic Amen in here? I think that the warm weather, and the supposed death of the White Witch, has renewed vigor to my bones (but not my apartment)!Still, Hallelujah!

On another positive note, I think I'm going to try to stop complaining as much as I do. I think it's bad for my health. I just had to get this little bit out in the air for the public to see.

Verizon Wireless

Their commercial just came on my TV. That's why they made it as the subject of my blog. That and the fact that they have killer reception most everywhere I go. So all in all, I've been pleased. I'm also extremely pleased with the honeydew melon candle that I just bought. If you could smell Heaven this would be it. It's amazing and it's one of those huge ones with three wicks. My room will be smelling heavenly for multiple days now ... nay weeks.

I have a couple of beefs this week. The main one being television commercials. It seems like everything in life has a shelf life. Food obviously has a shelf life. Jokes have a shelf life. Those of you in the Christian realm know that praise songs have a shelf life, although still too long. I can only sing, "Yooooou came from Heaven to earth to shoooooooooow the way ... from the eaaaarrth to the cross myyyyyyy debt to pay." The shelf life should have been oh I don't know maybe two years shorter. Heck even commercials on the radio have shelf life. It seems the one thing in life that doesn't have a shelf life happens to be the one thing we get bombarded with the most - commercials on TV.

I was watching the final four the other night when I noticed three commercials: Lebron James shooting really far jump shots, the old zoom zoom Mitsubishi commercial, and finally the stupid commercial for cialis. Problem one. I'm sick of seeing commercials for a year. I may be slightly dumb and I may not have a great attention span, but there are only so many times I can laugh at a commercial. There are only so many times that I can sit there for thirty seconds and let you have my undecided attention. All commercials should have to be pulled off within a year max. I dare say 4 - 6 months.

Problem 2 - These commercials have nothing to do with what the product is. Zoom zoom has nothing to do with cars. Mitsubishis are not sweet enough to go zoom zoom. They're crappy little cars. Lebron James cannot hit huge jump shots the whole length of the court, nor does it have anything to do with Powerade. Nothing at all. Finally that purple or red couch has nothing to do with Cialis or getting it up for your wife. Ever. Frankly I find those commercials offensive. It starts with this, and then it's the slippery slope. Some day we're watching commercials of naked girls on TV like they do in Europe and wondering how we got there. You know where it starts, with commercials about old dudes who can't get it up for sex. Yeah then it's the next step about something that enhances sex even more. Then it's about naked dudes and naked chicks and the clothing that maybe they put on. Bam - moral degradation.

Problem 3 - These commercials suck for the most part. Let's move on from the aforementioned commercials. Take McDonalds for example. If you watched any NFL this year you saw the one with the dude who comes in and throws food down the coffee table and he talks about his "Tbago (or whatever) and it's a decorative sham that protects." This has nothing to do with food. It also doesn't make me want to eat McDonalds. Some dudes sitting around talking about shams. Maybe if they watched football and played video games it would be sweet. That might make me say (if I was a pawn who fell for this crap), "Hmmm good idea some burgers while playing Madden." As is I'm not saying, "Burgers while talking about shams."

Exhibit two commercials for beer that talk about taste loss. I usually like beer commercials. They're really flashy and for people with the attention span of a slug a.k.a. me. But when you talk about beer taste loss and that's why I should drink Miller; you make one enormously wrong assumption. I don't drink beer that makes me feel like I've lost all my taste. I don't drink crap beer like Bud Light. I drink good beer like George Killians. So don't make beer telling me to drink yours cause the other beer sucks. Either make me laugh in a good way that I can relate. Or tell me why your beer is better. And no the fact that I can save 25 cents on yours is not good enough.

Exhibit three commercials for cars that are just flat out horrible. Showing me your car doing a 360 on a dark street isn't going to cut it. I CAN'T DO THAT WITH MY CAR! I GET ARRESTED FOR EVEN TRYING! Show me how the car does when it hits a pot hole. Show me how the car does driving down interstates. Is it going to always pull to the left? How does my car do getting off the stop light or turning through the drive through that has a tight turn. Am I going to have to three point turn it? I hate that. Tell me that my car won't have to three point turn in incredibly inoppurtune spots.

You throw all three of these problems together and it makes TV almost unbearable to watch at times. I wish that they would pull commercials. Do they not know the power these bad commercials have? I have already decided never to purchase any McDonalds, Burger King (thanks to the gay king and singing), or Sierra Mist because their commercials are so lame. You have the power to sway me to, or against, your side with a decent commercial. I'm seriously paying attention, so don't make a bad one. It's like marketing execs are so out of touch with people they don't know how to make a good commercial. Just get out of the board room and onto the street.

I was going to rant about some other stuff, but I'll save that for later this week. I feel like I got a lot off my chest. I think Wednesday I'm going to gripe about business and the lack of choice. We got royally ripped today by our gas company and frankly I'm sick of it. But can I change my gas company? No. Can I change my electric provider? No. I'm stuck. This is why a free society is better. A democracy is key. Capitalism is key. People who don't have the freedom of choice are getting hosed. Today's run in with the gas company showed me more than ever that people deserve a choice. It's what drives better effort and business. But until then, if you're out on your bike tonight ... do wear white.

The Low Down

Alright I'm back from Retirement to fill you all in on a great weekend of film. As everyone knows, the big film opening in theatres this weekend was Ice Princess. I know everyone was having a hard time getting tickets to the show, so for you disappointed fans who didn't get your grubby hands on a one way ticket to cinema extacy, here is a brief recap:

1) Ice Princess is gay
2) I didn't see Ice Princess
3) If there were an Ice Princess in Sin City, guaranteed Elijah Wood would have eaten her.

Ok people I didn't really see Ice Princess, but as you can guess, I DID see Sin freaking City! WOO! While you're all whining that you couldn't get out and see it this weekend, let me help you be a good film consumer. Some of you are all pumped about Sin City just because it has a sweet cast. Other people are pumped about it because it looks like it has mind blowing cinematography. Others just want to see some boobs and blood and this looks like a good ticket. But BEWARE!! Sin City isn't a simple bam bam shoot em up boob flick. In order to help you decide whether you, the discerning budding film critic should see Sin City, let me give you a littany of things that may draw you in/repel you from the movie. You gotta come correct before digesting 2 hours of this bad boy.

Should I see Sin City? Yes, if...
1) You like violence!! I'm not talking Steven Segal violence with accompanying one liners and gay running (have you ever watched Steven Segal run? If not, remember that kid in junior high who ran like a girl in gym class and everyone made fun of? Bam, that's exactly how Steve runs). I've been watching movies for going on 15 years, and I've seen nothing like some of the violence in this movie! It's revolutionary! If you like lots of blood, lots of violence, tons of beheadings (no not Kill Bill stylee) and some sweet guns, you might like Sin City

2) You like Scantily Clad Women!! A lesser focus of the movie is Jessica Alba's hotness. But she's really really hot, so if you like Jessica Alba and are trying to objectify her instead of picking up new dance moves (Courtney and Mandy I'm looking at you here), go see Sin City. Also if you like naked women, you will probably like Sin City. And if you're a dude and you don't like naked women, go see Ice Princess.

3) You have no qualms about seeing Elijah Wood transform from lovable tragic hero to woman-slaying cannibal. Ok I probably just ruined a lot of the movie there...nuff said.

4) You are a huge fan of old school film noir: I'm talking complete with haggard sounding voice overs, sleazy saxophone music in the background, and women being refered to as 'dames' and 'broads' and 'skirts'. Straight 1940's style. And the fact that the movie is shot in all black and white only further throws back not only to Frank Miller's comic book, but also to the films and cinema that inspired generations of movie goer/makers.

5) You like Chivas Regal: Ok I just made that up. You don't have to like Chivas to like Sin City, but if you don't like Chivas something is in fact wrong with you. Get right!

OK! That's my breakdown for why you should see Sin City. Below are reasons you might not like to see Sin City:

1) If you're taking a girl out and trying to hook up: Big mistake!!!! Sin City is definitely not the movie to take a girl to in order to get her all fired up for post-movie shenanigans. For that I would try Ice Princess. Lord knows doing ANYTHING after that movie (including getting run over by a train) would be a treat compared to sitting through that drivel. But seriously if you're thinking maybe Sin City would be a great complement to dinner, or some other form of date...I'd probably second guess your date planning skills.

2) You're not a fan of boobs/scantily clad women: I don't even know what to say here, but if you read qualification number two and it resounds with you...just, don't go see Sin City.

3) If you don't like awesome violence: yeah that pretty much explains itself.

4) If you're a fan of Josh Hartnett: Lord willing you will answer 'no' to this point with disgust (i.e. "pshhhyeah right. he sucks"), but in the unfortunate instance where you find Josh Hartnett a viable contributor to the cinematic world-this movie is not for you. Yeah he's in the credits, but I think his name is flashed on the screen longer than his presence in the movie. He's basically a glorified cameo.

5) If you think movies are real: Sin City might ruin your view of the world. Try reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy again.

And there you have it. I would highly suggest that you heed my advice on this movie, because as I found out in a fortune cookie this weekend: "Everyone agrees that you are the best". Kid you not...that was in my cookie and I couldn't agree more. I'm the best film critic there is, so rest assured my advice is rock solid. Until next time...have fun at the movies!!