New post on the other blog people. And it's serious* business.
go here soon!!!
Merry Christmas (again!)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Lowering your electricity bill the old fashioned way!
You wanted it? You got it!!
I told you last time that I was going to be publishing a running series on how to make life entertaining when you’re poor and in graduate school. If you’ll recall, the theme of part one was something like “Take Joy in Making Others Happy”: it doesn’t cost you anything, and it makes you feel good! The theme of the second in a cavalcade of awesome blogs is something akin to “Making Your Heating Bill Go Further.”
I was thinking about this topic the other day as I was scanning my electricity bill. For those of you living North of the Mason Dixon Line, down in the South a lot of the heating apparatuses for the winter run on electricity…not gas. It’s a blessing and a curse. So my electricity bill is getting higher and higher as winter rolls in, and I’m starting to have flashbacks about my nightmare apartment on Elm Street (search the archives here…the Elm St. Blogs are classics, people). I’d love to be able to turn my heat down, but if you know anything about me you know I hate to be cold. After reviewing my bill, which was starting to climb into nosebleed territory, I decided to chill out and take a shower.
Now, taking a shower in my apartment isn’t necessarily the greatest experience one can have. The water pressure is just one notch above “slow trickle”, and in order to get my shower “hot” I have to turn the “hot water” handle completely on, and sort of jimmy the “freezing water” handle a little bit to get an adequate amount of hot water. If I give the cold handle even a quarter turn, the cold water completely eclipses what little heat my water heater can produce. But what’s awesome about it is that the hot water kicks on right away and the cold water doesn’t start until about 3 minutes later. So on many occasions I’ve been in the shower thinking it was the right temperature, only to have my wonderfully warm shower turn into an ice bath. It’s as alarming as it sounds, let me tell you. The only good news here is that my landlord pays for the water heating element in my apartment, so thankfully that’s not part of my utility bill.
Since I can never really seem to get the temperature right in the shower, what I’ve started doing is just not turning on the cold water. I know what you’re thinking: “Andrew, that would probably make the shower dangerously warm…I don’t know if that’s a good idea”. Well, it does and it’s not. But while I was standing under scalding hot water the other evening, I realized that I could solve my lukewarm shower AND outlandish electricity bill ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!! Think about this: When was the last time you were in a hot tub? Probably pretty recently. Hot tubs are great not only because you can relieve yourself in them and no one knows, but also because after about 20 minutes in the hot tub, you are REALLY hot. When you get out of the hot tub, do you instantly become cold (provided you’re not in a hot tub outside when the weather is terribly cold)? NO! Your core body temperature rises and you stay relatively warm for at least 20 more minutes.
This is the crux of my story people! I found out that by standing in a shower emitting dangerously hot water, my core body temperature was being raised! Consequently, whenever I got out of the shower I was pretty warm! If you have read the last few sentences and observed the inordinate number of exclamation points which I have used, you can get a sense for how excited all of this made me!!! What I am now starting to do is when I wake up in the morning, I turn my heat off. I quickly run to the shower and turn the “hot water” knob on. I then take a painful shower, but afterwards I’m able to get dressed, eat breakfast, and get out the door to class without being cold! It’s a miracle!!!! I won’t know how well my plan works until next month, but I’m sure it’s going to lower my electricity bill a little bit. That way, if I leave my heat off ALL day, whenever I come back to my apartment all I have to do is hop in the shower for about 10 minutes to get all roasty toasty, and then I won't mind the period of coldness where my apartment is starting to warm up. I think my idea is just shy of "genius" level, but somewhere above "legendary" status.
That's all for this installment of helpful tips for you struggling kids out there. Make sure you stay tuned for more insight, "learning by doing" life experiences, and an update on when you can catch Andrew in a town near you (i.e. maybe I'll get to see some of you rascals over Christmas).
Until then, Merry Christmas (not Haunakah or Kwanzaa)
I told you last time that I was going to be publishing a running series on how to make life entertaining when you’re poor and in graduate school. If you’ll recall, the theme of part one was something like “Take Joy in Making Others Happy”: it doesn’t cost you anything, and it makes you feel good! The theme of the second in a cavalcade of awesome blogs is something akin to “Making Your Heating Bill Go Further.”
I was thinking about this topic the other day as I was scanning my electricity bill. For those of you living North of the Mason Dixon Line, down in the South a lot of the heating apparatuses for the winter run on electricity…not gas. It’s a blessing and a curse. So my electricity bill is getting higher and higher as winter rolls in, and I’m starting to have flashbacks about my nightmare apartment on Elm Street (search the archives here…the Elm St. Blogs are classics, people). I’d love to be able to turn my heat down, but if you know anything about me you know I hate to be cold. After reviewing my bill, which was starting to climb into nosebleed territory, I decided to chill out and take a shower.
Now, taking a shower in my apartment isn’t necessarily the greatest experience one can have. The water pressure is just one notch above “slow trickle”, and in order to get my shower “hot” I have to turn the “hot water” handle completely on, and sort of jimmy the “freezing water” handle a little bit to get an adequate amount of hot water. If I give the cold handle even a quarter turn, the cold water completely eclipses what little heat my water heater can produce. But what’s awesome about it is that the hot water kicks on right away and the cold water doesn’t start until about 3 minutes later. So on many occasions I’ve been in the shower thinking it was the right temperature, only to have my wonderfully warm shower turn into an ice bath. It’s as alarming as it sounds, let me tell you. The only good news here is that my landlord pays for the water heating element in my apartment, so thankfully that’s not part of my utility bill.
Since I can never really seem to get the temperature right in the shower, what I’ve started doing is just not turning on the cold water. I know what you’re thinking: “Andrew, that would probably make the shower dangerously warm…I don’t know if that’s a good idea”. Well, it does and it’s not. But while I was standing under scalding hot water the other evening, I realized that I could solve my lukewarm shower AND outlandish electricity bill ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!! Think about this: When was the last time you were in a hot tub? Probably pretty recently. Hot tubs are great not only because you can relieve yourself in them and no one knows, but also because after about 20 minutes in the hot tub, you are REALLY hot. When you get out of the hot tub, do you instantly become cold (provided you’re not in a hot tub outside when the weather is terribly cold)? NO! Your core body temperature rises and you stay relatively warm for at least 20 more minutes.
This is the crux of my story people! I found out that by standing in a shower emitting dangerously hot water, my core body temperature was being raised! Consequently, whenever I got out of the shower I was pretty warm! If you have read the last few sentences and observed the inordinate number of exclamation points which I have used, you can get a sense for how excited all of this made me!!! What I am now starting to do is when I wake up in the morning, I turn my heat off. I quickly run to the shower and turn the “hot water” knob on. I then take a painful shower, but afterwards I’m able to get dressed, eat breakfast, and get out the door to class without being cold! It’s a miracle!!!! I won’t know how well my plan works until next month, but I’m sure it’s going to lower my electricity bill a little bit. That way, if I leave my heat off ALL day, whenever I come back to my apartment all I have to do is hop in the shower for about 10 minutes to get all roasty toasty, and then I won't mind the period of coldness where my apartment is starting to warm up. I think my idea is just shy of "genius" level, but somewhere above "legendary" status.
That's all for this installment of helpful tips for you struggling kids out there. Make sure you stay tuned for more insight, "learning by doing" life experiences, and an update on when you can catch Andrew in a town near you (i.e. maybe I'll get to see some of you rascals over Christmas).
Until then, Merry Christmas (not Haunakah or Kwanzaa)
Sunday, December 03, 2006
"This one's on the house"
Hello friends!
I just wanted to drop by to make a re-appearance on the old faithful blog. I'm going to link this blog from my other blog so hopefully everyone will come over and read the genius that is "Keith and Andrew Fight Back!" Speaking of Keith, where is that kid anyway?! You make sure he comes back and blogs. But for now, take THIS!!!!!!
Back when I was in college the first time, I learned very quickly that just because something’s ‘on the house’ it does not automatically mean it’s a good thing. It could be a good thing, in the following examples:
1) You get a free beer from your favorite bartender (“Hey, Smith, it’s on the house”)
2) Someone does you a favor (“Don’t worry, Smith, there’s no charge”)
But consider:
3) Some 6’4” inebriated college senior startles you awake at 3 in the morning because he wants to jump into your bunk bed, cuddle, and then twist your nipple (“Smith! Smith, don’t worry, this is on the house I promise”).
When I think of the phrase “It’s on the house”, this is the scenario that comes to my mind. Welcome to my sophomore year of college, and while we’re here let me also introduce you to Foust, my senior suite-mate. Foust taught me a lot about life. He taught me that some people actually do get fired up about hockey. He taught me how to structure my scholastic priorities (“SMITH!!! 10 years from now are you going to want to say that you STUDIED all Wednesday night or that you got to hang out with FOUST at BENJAMIN’S?!!?!!). He also taught me the value of respecting people older than you (“SMITH!!! If we don’t get some food on the way home, I’m going TO KILL YOU!!!!”). And above all, Foust taught me how to make sure that when you’re going to do something to someone that they probably won’t enjoy, it’s best to preface your action with phrases like “Hey, this is going to be on the house”. It makes them feel better, I guess.
Fast forward now to, well, right now. For the better part of 4 years I’ve been slinging the phrase “It’s on the house” or “There’s no charge for that” around whenever I feel like doing something that someone isn’t going to like. At this point I say and don’t think about it. But lately it’s sort of been troubling me for two reasons:
1) I say it to people who can’t hear me.
2) I think it’s funny
Let me tell you whenBeing as that I live by myself, sometimes I forget that my road faces one of the busiest intersections in Boone, North Carolina. Every single day, at every single minute of the day the roar of traffic from the intersection of routes 421 and 105 fills my apartment. Since I live by myself, and since I don’t have anyone to tell me otherwise, sometimes I forget that when I’m changing my clothes, everyone outside can see me. In fact, not only can the people who are stopped in traffic look right into my window and see me, but the people at the car wash across the street can also see me. It’s great to be the center of attention all of the time, but I doubt that the people across the street who have just seen a flash of Andrew in his underwear feel the same. It’s amazing how desensitized I’ve become to it! Every morning I do my usual routine: wake up, open the blinds to see if it’s still raining, scratch my chest, yawn, stand there for a while, and then go get a shower. Inevitably, some guy in a car looks up at me and quickly turns away. Or sometimes the lady with her kids, who is washing her Ford Windstar is staring up at me all offended like. It’s usually when our eyes meet that I realize that I have no pants on, and that these people are probably none too happy for having seen me in my britches.
This is the entertaining part, people. Since I’ve become so used to being on display for everyone to see, what I usually do when people spot me is point at them, give them a little head nod and mouth the words “That’s on the house!” I usually get a big kick out of it, and chuckle to myself thinking “that person just got a free show…lucky”. It seriously happens all the time. I’m changing for class…BAM I’m spotted, and that’s on the house! I’m getting in the shower, WHAM how about THAT for a view and of course there’s no charge for that! I feel like I’m in the Red Light District in Amsterdam what with all these cars whizzing by and people gawking at me. But the main difference is there’s no charge at my house! It isn’t until about 5 minutes later that I realize how retarded I am (or “MR” or “special” or whatever the preferred nomenclature is these days). It really isn’t that funny, but it gets me every time.
So after years of incorporating Foust language into my vernacular, and after just 3 months of living in a one bedroom apartment, this is what I’ve resorted to: entertaining myself by making nonsensical quips to people who can’t hear me and who probably don’t want to see me either. I guess it’s all just as well…we have to entertain ourselves somehow. And in case you haven’t guessed by now, this is just ONE blog of MANY which will give you tips on how to entertain yourself if you are a poor graduate student living in a rural mountain town. Stay tuned, because there’s nowhere else to go from here but up.
And speaking of looking up, if you were driving by my apartment this morning…that one was on the house.
I just wanted to drop by to make a re-appearance on the old faithful blog. I'm going to link this blog from my other blog so hopefully everyone will come over and read the genius that is "Keith and Andrew Fight Back!" Speaking of Keith, where is that kid anyway?! You make sure he comes back and blogs. But for now, take THIS!!!!!!
Back when I was in college the first time, I learned very quickly that just because something’s ‘on the house’ it does not automatically mean it’s a good thing. It could be a good thing, in the following examples:
1) You get a free beer from your favorite bartender (“Hey, Smith, it’s on the house”)
2) Someone does you a favor (“Don’t worry, Smith, there’s no charge”)
But consider:
3) Some 6’4” inebriated college senior startles you awake at 3 in the morning because he wants to jump into your bunk bed, cuddle, and then twist your nipple (“Smith! Smith, don’t worry, this is on the house I promise”).
When I think of the phrase “It’s on the house”, this is the scenario that comes to my mind. Welcome to my sophomore year of college, and while we’re here let me also introduce you to Foust, my senior suite-mate. Foust taught me a lot about life. He taught me that some people actually do get fired up about hockey. He taught me how to structure my scholastic priorities (“SMITH!!! 10 years from now are you going to want to say that you STUDIED all Wednesday night or that you got to hang out with FOUST at BENJAMIN’S?!!?!!). He also taught me the value of respecting people older than you (“SMITH!!! If we don’t get some food on the way home, I’m going TO KILL YOU!!!!”). And above all, Foust taught me how to make sure that when you’re going to do something to someone that they probably won’t enjoy, it’s best to preface your action with phrases like “Hey, this is going to be on the house”. It makes them feel better, I guess.
Fast forward now to, well, right now. For the better part of 4 years I’ve been slinging the phrase “It’s on the house” or “There’s no charge for that” around whenever I feel like doing something that someone isn’t going to like. At this point I say and don’t think about it. But lately it’s sort of been troubling me for two reasons:
1) I say it to people who can’t hear me.
2) I think it’s funny
Let me tell you whenBeing as that I live by myself, sometimes I forget that my road faces one of the busiest intersections in Boone, North Carolina. Every single day, at every single minute of the day the roar of traffic from the intersection of routes 421 and 105 fills my apartment. Since I live by myself, and since I don’t have anyone to tell me otherwise, sometimes I forget that when I’m changing my clothes, everyone outside can see me. In fact, not only can the people who are stopped in traffic look right into my window and see me, but the people at the car wash across the street can also see me. It’s great to be the center of attention all of the time, but I doubt that the people across the street who have just seen a flash of Andrew in his underwear feel the same. It’s amazing how desensitized I’ve become to it! Every morning I do my usual routine: wake up, open the blinds to see if it’s still raining, scratch my chest, yawn, stand there for a while, and then go get a shower. Inevitably, some guy in a car looks up at me and quickly turns away. Or sometimes the lady with her kids, who is washing her Ford Windstar is staring up at me all offended like. It’s usually when our eyes meet that I realize that I have no pants on, and that these people are probably none too happy for having seen me in my britches.
This is the entertaining part, people. Since I’ve become so used to being on display for everyone to see, what I usually do when people spot me is point at them, give them a little head nod and mouth the words “That’s on the house!” I usually get a big kick out of it, and chuckle to myself thinking “that person just got a free show…lucky”. It seriously happens all the time. I’m changing for class…BAM I’m spotted, and that’s on the house! I’m getting in the shower, WHAM how about THAT for a view and of course there’s no charge for that! I feel like I’m in the Red Light District in Amsterdam what with all these cars whizzing by and people gawking at me. But the main difference is there’s no charge at my house! It isn’t until about 5 minutes later that I realize how retarded I am (or “MR” or “special” or whatever the preferred nomenclature is these days). It really isn’t that funny, but it gets me every time.
So after years of incorporating Foust language into my vernacular, and after just 3 months of living in a one bedroom apartment, this is what I’ve resorted to: entertaining myself by making nonsensical quips to people who can’t hear me and who probably don’t want to see me either. I guess it’s all just as well…we have to entertain ourselves somehow. And in case you haven’t guessed by now, this is just ONE blog of MANY which will give you tips on how to entertain yourself if you are a poor graduate student living in a rural mountain town. Stay tuned, because there’s nowhere else to go from here but up.
And speaking of looking up, if you were driving by my apartment this morning…that one was on the house.
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