So my last post happened somewhere around October 12th. I think that's the date, but frankly I'm a little lazy to open up my own blog and look. Approximately two months have flown by in the life of Keith and Andrew and I know you're all wondering the same thing, "What the crap is going on with those clowns?!?!" My utmost apologies to our loyal readers who had literally no idea if I was dead or alive. Andrew carried the blog up until today. I'm back folks.
So how exactly has Keith spent the last two months of his life? Get ready to be jealous fools as I'm about to share in a helpful outline format. I save the best effort for our readers. My interview writeups for my job don't even get this much attention ... ok that's false, but you felt good for a second didn't you.
1.) I spent the last two months driving up and down Interstate-79 North and South, North and South. Back and forth. That's it ................... of course that's not it. I was recruiting for the college. They switched me this year to Western PA. So while Andrew was off traipsing around in New York I was driving anywhere from the crappy Souf Hills to the furthest, coldest, and darkest regiions of Erie, PA. It was not horrible, but fairly sucky. I did get to know all the nooks and crannies of the state that I had previously not known despite growing up here.
2.) Looking for American flags and not just because they're sweet although they are. Anyone who visits Public and Christian schools for a living often knows that the American Flag marks the front entrance and thus your destination as you have to visit there to get your hall pass to visit the guidance office. I've seen many American flags, but none that but none that looked like this one. It's cracked out
3.) Compiling a list of my top 100 songs. My good friend Josh and I have been working over the last two months of e-mailing one another our favorite songs back in forth. She started the list and sent me 20, and he can't add until I send him my next installment. And we let it sit in our inbox and simmer for a while so we don't forget any songs. I'm at 90 approximately. So you can look forward to my unveiling of number one here on the blog - that's web log for those of you keeping score at home - soon. It just might be by ...
4.) U2 as I saw them in concert in Pittsburgh. Freaking ... sweet ... amazing ... astounding ... ok that's enough to describe it. It was a great show. Longer than any other U2 show I've seen and had a lot of improvisation and rare songs to hear live. It was so sweet to see Bono and I had seats that were like 15 rows back. I could have spit on Bono. I think it was the highlight of my fall.
5.) Saw the Grand Canyon and boy is it grand. Slightly gay sentence, that's my bad, you're a little rusty after two months away. You have to use a gay list blog to get back in the swing of things. Grand Canyon - I'm sure you think it's sweet right? Well imagine it, and then think three times as sweet. I think I was moved, and I'm a bit of a cold person if you know what I mean. Grand Canyon = slamtastic.
6.) Saw a Phoenix Suns NBA game 10 rows back in $120 tickets that I got for basically free from some people before the game. I was right on the free throw line. Why you ask? Cause I'm the luckiest SOB. I stumbled upon guys getting rid of tickets and got them for cheap. It was wicked sweet. After the game I got to meet Kevin Harlan, easily my favorite sports announcer. Killer sweet. Then I drove back to my hotel in my Chrysler Sebring since I was upgraded for free. Basically points four and five go to illustrate that my trip to Arizona was sweet and I had tons of luck.
7.) Saw Washington DC and the new WWII memorial. Everyone should check it out. It's awesome. Very sobering, beautiful, and moving.
8.) Minor point but saw Rent and Walk the Line. Walk the Line = good acting but who cares about Johnny Cash. Rent = awesome music, great choreography, good movie but who cares about the immoral lives of horrible people. Not this kid. It's a good movie/musical though. You really should go see it.
Well kids that's all for now. But you can expect to see me on the blog here a little more often. In the future I hope to educate you all on why Starbucks blows, Best Buy rules, the NFL is the king of sports. Until then though leave a comment and let me know what the heck you're up to. I've been traveling so much I haven't kept up with most of y'inz ... woops I picked that one up in the South Hills.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
That must be in the new, hipper version of the Bible.
I need to take a break from my Hawaiian paradise to talk about something that I feel is important
Christians seriously need a makeover. Honestly. Sometimes I wonder how Christians get labeled as stupid, imbisilic, do gooders. Then I turn on TBN and catch snippets of the Paula White morning show . The circumstances which placed me in front of a TV which was showing 'Paula White' are irrelevant at this point...I watched the show ok? Good Lord this woman is a retard. Now when you sort out all of the details, this lunatic and I share the same faith and so let it be said first off that every comment I have to say is ultimately based in a love for her, and out of a desire to help her try to see why I am upset with her. So Paula if you are reading this (I know you are, you silly crackpot), take it all with a grain of salt. But my blood is boiling so I better get started here.
As I watched the train wreck of the Paula White show commence in slow motion, this is what I saw:
1) Unlocking the Secrets of Communion! Yes Oh Christian, the sacrament of the eucharist isn't just something that Christ told us to do to remember his sacrifice on the cross. Oh no it's more than that. If you do communion the right way (every day, in your house, with Paula's home communion kit), then not only will your life be enriched, but in fact you might be rich!! That's right, communion is actually a secret sacrament that, when taken in the right way, unlocks the secret temporal treasures that Christ has laid in store for you here on earth. Need an answer for an enigmatic malaise? Take communion. Need a few bucks to throw around? Take communion. Need God to come down on high and reveal His will to you so that you don't actually have to have 'faith like a child'? Take communion, and all the mysteries of God plans for your life will be laid out in easy to follow, mortal transcription.
Get freaking real. Did this woman even consult the New Testament before thrusting herself in front of a TV camera? I highly doubt it. No mention of Christ's sacrifice stumbles from Paula's lips. No mention of confession, meditation, contemplation is broadcast to the eager listener. I don't even think she quoted Matthew, Mark, Luke, Corinthians, etc. to shed any light on the history of communion, nor on it's eternal significance as a covenant. Through the Gospel of Paula, she declares that Communion is a time for you to unlock earthly happiness and contentment. Anyone who's picked up a Bible and at least flipped through it could probably tell you communion isn't about what more God will do for you, but about what He has already done. I think I remember reading somewhere that he who takes the sacrament lightly, and for improper reasons eats and drinks to his own judgment? That must have been somewhere in I Cor. 11 though...not on Paula's reading list.
2)Poverty is a Sin!! Yes from the mouth of Paula White, poverty is equated to sin. At one point she was droning on and on about how you, yes you, can break the cycle of iniquity in your life. See, iniquity is not just sin, but continual sin. Uhh ...I'll take your word for it. But anyway she goes on to say that just because the punishment for iniquity was wrought on your ancestors ('the sins of the father are passed down from generation to generation') does not mean that YOU have to be punished! Just because your mom was a drunk does not mean that you have to be a drunk. And I kid you not, this is a near quote "Just because your mother was poor, does not mean that you have to be poor!". Woah there. Did Paula just equate poverty with sin? I'm not here to get into a debate about how one becomes poor, because certainly you could be poor because of your sin. But from what I see from Paula, being poor is the sin, and you shouldn't have to wrestle with that 'sin' like your mommy and daddy did.
Get real. This is so idiotic, I'm not even going to touch it.
3) and last off (because I'm getting progressively more pissed as I write this), you'll need to see this travesty for yourself. Yeah, you're seeing things right...JCPositive. Just read the drivel that explains how a moment of clarity helped Paula come up with this future winner of the "Terrible Christian Stocking Stuffer" award. How stupid is this crap? I can just see a student in the hallway giving the 'skinny' on his JC+ rhinestone dogtag to a classmate:
Christian: Hey man what's up
Other student: Dude what's that fake-ass looking bling you've got going on?
Christian: Hey man stop swearing, maybe you didn't know I'm JC+!
Other student: That's stupid, what does that even mean?
Christian: You know, it's kind of like supposed to be my blood type, but better because I'm a Christian.
other student: That doesn't make much sense, and you look like an idiot.
Christian: At least I'm a JC+ idiot!
Other student: Man, Christians are so lame
Yup, Christians are lame. Honestly how are you supposed to win people over to Christ with a stupid looking dogtag with an even stupider story behind it? What happened to just telling people you love the Lord? What happened to just being bold enough to tell your friends "Hey guys I'm a Christian"? Why do you have to wear a chinsy looking piece of Sino-crap that you know will be in a trashcan within 6 months (if you can withstand a beating for that long)?
If any of you have that chain, I hope that you are not offended at me expressing my opinion. Maybe it's because I was watching Paula early in the morning and I was grumpy. Maybe it's because I'm out here trying to sell my Christian college to students who need to be at a Christian school. And maybe it's because I've been getting heaping doses of G.K. Chesterton as of late. But Christians can be so lame. We've been given intellect. We've been given the ability by a divine creator to explore our faith and our freedom, and all we can come up with to symbolize our exhilerating gracious freedom is a plastic dog tag and some borderline heresies on Communion? This is ridiculous! It's time that Christians stop living behind their mail order Christianity. It's time that Christians stop giving into the stereotype of being narrowminded, one dimensional thinkers. We of all people have the ability, nay the divine obligation, to be excellent in our thoughts, in our philosophies, in our engagement with a watching world. I'm so sick of seeing pop-culture Christians fleeing the battle field of the culture wars, only to huddle together on the sideline and yell really loudly "We don't agree with your postmodern culture!" Stop your huddling! Stop your cross clutching. Pick up a book (and Paula, pick up a Bible) and run headlong into conflict.
You have a divine obligation to be effective, O Christian, not to be disaffected. Use your intellect and use your freedom. Stop feeding into your self-perpetuating stereotypes. Rant over.
"We're more than static and dial tone, we're emblematic of the unknown. So raise the banner, bend back your bows! Remove the cancer, take back your soul! We are the image of the Invisible!" -Thrice
Christians seriously need a makeover. Honestly. Sometimes I wonder how Christians get labeled as stupid, imbisilic, do gooders. Then I turn on TBN and catch snippets of the Paula White morning show . The circumstances which placed me in front of a TV which was showing 'Paula White' are irrelevant at this point...I watched the show ok? Good Lord this woman is a retard. Now when you sort out all of the details, this lunatic and I share the same faith and so let it be said first off that every comment I have to say is ultimately based in a love for her, and out of a desire to help her try to see why I am upset with her. So Paula if you are reading this (I know you are, you silly crackpot), take it all with a grain of salt. But my blood is boiling so I better get started here.
As I watched the train wreck of the Paula White show commence in slow motion, this is what I saw:
1) Unlocking the Secrets of Communion! Yes Oh Christian, the sacrament of the eucharist isn't just something that Christ told us to do to remember his sacrifice on the cross. Oh no it's more than that. If you do communion the right way (every day, in your house, with Paula's home communion kit), then not only will your life be enriched, but in fact you might be rich!! That's right, communion is actually a secret sacrament that, when taken in the right way, unlocks the secret temporal treasures that Christ has laid in store for you here on earth. Need an answer for an enigmatic malaise? Take communion. Need a few bucks to throw around? Take communion. Need God to come down on high and reveal His will to you so that you don't actually have to have 'faith like a child'? Take communion, and all the mysteries of God plans for your life will be laid out in easy to follow, mortal transcription.
Get freaking real. Did this woman even consult the New Testament before thrusting herself in front of a TV camera? I highly doubt it. No mention of Christ's sacrifice stumbles from Paula's lips. No mention of confession, meditation, contemplation is broadcast to the eager listener. I don't even think she quoted Matthew, Mark, Luke, Corinthians, etc. to shed any light on the history of communion, nor on it's eternal significance as a covenant. Through the Gospel of Paula, she declares that Communion is a time for you to unlock earthly happiness and contentment. Anyone who's picked up a Bible and at least flipped through it could probably tell you communion isn't about what more God will do for you, but about what He has already done. I think I remember reading somewhere that he who takes the sacrament lightly, and for improper reasons eats and drinks to his own judgment? That must have been somewhere in I Cor. 11 though...not on Paula's reading list.
2)Poverty is a Sin!! Yes from the mouth of Paula White, poverty is equated to sin. At one point she was droning on and on about how you, yes you, can break the cycle of iniquity in your life. See, iniquity is not just sin, but continual sin. Uhh ...I'll take your word for it. But anyway she goes on to say that just because the punishment for iniquity was wrought on your ancestors ('the sins of the father are passed down from generation to generation') does not mean that YOU have to be punished! Just because your mom was a drunk does not mean that you have to be a drunk. And I kid you not, this is a near quote "Just because your mother was poor, does not mean that you have to be poor!". Woah there. Did Paula just equate poverty with sin? I'm not here to get into a debate about how one becomes poor, because certainly you could be poor because of your sin. But from what I see from Paula, being poor is the sin, and you shouldn't have to wrestle with that 'sin' like your mommy and daddy did.
Get real. This is so idiotic, I'm not even going to touch it.
3) and last off (because I'm getting progressively more pissed as I write this), you'll need to see this travesty for yourself. Yeah, you're seeing things right...JCPositive. Just read the drivel that explains how a moment of clarity helped Paula come up with this future winner of the "Terrible Christian Stocking Stuffer" award. How stupid is this crap? I can just see a student in the hallway giving the 'skinny' on his JC+ rhinestone dogtag to a classmate:
Christian: Hey man what's up
Other student: Dude what's that fake-ass looking bling you've got going on?
Christian: Hey man stop swearing, maybe you didn't know I'm JC+!
Other student: That's stupid, what does that even mean?
Christian: You know, it's kind of like supposed to be my blood type, but better because I'm a Christian.
other student: That doesn't make much sense, and you look like an idiot.
Christian: At least I'm a JC+ idiot!
Other student: Man, Christians are so lame
Yup, Christians are lame. Honestly how are you supposed to win people over to Christ with a stupid looking dogtag with an even stupider story behind it? What happened to just telling people you love the Lord? What happened to just being bold enough to tell your friends "Hey guys I'm a Christian"? Why do you have to wear a chinsy looking piece of Sino-crap that you know will be in a trashcan within 6 months (if you can withstand a beating for that long)?
If any of you have that chain, I hope that you are not offended at me expressing my opinion. Maybe it's because I was watching Paula early in the morning and I was grumpy. Maybe it's because I'm out here trying to sell my Christian college to students who need to be at a Christian school. And maybe it's because I've been getting heaping doses of G.K. Chesterton as of late. But Christians can be so lame. We've been given intellect. We've been given the ability by a divine creator to explore our faith and our freedom, and all we can come up with to symbolize our exhilerating gracious freedom is a plastic dog tag and some borderline heresies on Communion? This is ridiculous! It's time that Christians stop living behind their mail order Christianity. It's time that Christians stop giving into the stereotype of being narrowminded, one dimensional thinkers. We of all people have the ability, nay the divine obligation, to be excellent in our thoughts, in our philosophies, in our engagement with a watching world. I'm so sick of seeing pop-culture Christians fleeing the battle field of the culture wars, only to huddle together on the sideline and yell really loudly "We don't agree with your postmodern culture!" Stop your huddling! Stop your cross clutching. Pick up a book (and Paula, pick up a Bible) and run headlong into conflict.
You have a divine obligation to be effective, O Christian, not to be disaffected. Use your intellect and use your freedom. Stop feeding into your self-perpetuating stereotypes. Rant over.
"We're more than static and dial tone, we're emblematic of the unknown. So raise the banner, bend back your bows! Remove the cancer, take back your soul! We are the image of the Invisible!" -Thrice
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Actually James...
Some of your tuition dollars are in fact sending me to and around Hawaii...but let's remember I'm working here. Really hard, too.
So at work today I went to Waimea Canyon (affectionately dubbed the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific Rim" by money hungry cultural sellout tourist groups). If you've never been to Waimea Canyon I would highly recommend that you start saving up your pennies now to make a trip out to Kauai so that you can behold the splendour and majesty that is the Canyon. Check it:
So at work today I went to Waimea Canyon (affectionately dubbed the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific Rim" by money hungry cultural sellout tourist groups). If you've never been to Waimea Canyon I would highly recommend that you start saving up your pennies now to make a trip out to Kauai so that you can behold the splendour and majesty that is the Canyon. Check it:
That was earlier on in the morning while it was still a little foggy from the rain. But as the day went onward it was a lot easier to take pictures of the Canyon. Once again...Hawaii makes you Ansel Adams
Taking pictures of the Canyon is all well and good. But if you are like me, and your red American, Republican blood is always pulsing for a good adventure, then you know what you have to do to make this situation a lot more interesting...go find some obscure hiking trails and walk out onto the canyon face in order to take some slammin' pictures!!! And when I say obscure, I mean like fall-and-break-your-leg-and-no-one-finds-you-for-a-week-so-you-have-to-chew-through-it obscure.
You may or may not be able to tell from these pictures, but the Waimea Canyon is so many different colors. Blues, reds, oranges, yellows, and even seafoam colors make up the collage of different clay soils that make up the canyon. And also most of the canyone is all clay...not a whole lot of solid rock to stand on. The combination of bright colors, fun soil, and the opportunity to have 'an adventure' allured me to one particular side of the canyon.
If you know me, then you know it doesn't take a whole lot to distract my eye. So when I saw stuff like this...
...all of my available faculties were consumed with the thought of taking a picture of the beautiful parts of the canyon sand-with me in it. But for some reason blogger.com isn't letting me upload any more pictures, so you don't get to see what happens just yet. Maybe tomorrow.
But in lieu of not having pictures to show you, I'm never lacking in thoughts to share with you (much to you all's chagrin I know). I'm out here on Kauai right? All I see everywhere I go are advertisements for 2 things: helicopter rides and luau's. Now there's nothing wrong with a helicopter ride over the Waimea Canyon, or some other natural attraction. But luau's? I know that's a staple of the Hawaiian experience...but should it be? A luau is a celebratory feast to commemorate key events in the lives of the native Hawaiian people: coronations, birthdays, marriages, etc. So why is it that an event that's supposed to be reserved for special occasions has been whored out by the pimp of modern tourism? I think I'm kind of offended by the fact that the people of hawaii would so quickly sell out a rich part of their culture to make a quick buck off the tourists and mainlanders. The fact that I see billboards proclaiming that "So and So has the BEST Hawaiian luau...all for only $59 a person!!" makes me honestly upset. Luau's aren't for me, they are for special occasions. As much as I love myself and think myself deserving of a party, I would never expect a luau on my behalf just because I happen to be in Kauai. If I do something sweet, like slay a hundred dragons with narry the hindquarters of a gelding, then throw me a luau. Until then, though, I'm going to keep my money in my pocket and let the luau commence rather for a legitimate occasion. That's what I think.
Ok more pics later!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Wow...freaking wow.
Ok...I'm in Hawai'i people. I'm in Hawai'i! Right now I'm in Kauai, but I thought that you all should see some of the places that I've been. Hawai'i is so sweet because everything is so stinking beautiful, that it makes you (and me) magically into Ansel Adams! Check it out!
This is the sunset in Honolulu, on Waikiki beach...mmm drinking beer and watching sunsets, it doesn't get much better than that!
Diamond Head!! That's a mountain back there people, and that's a beach right in front of it!! Amazing!
I feel like a brontosaurus is going to come lumbering out from behind the trees. Maybe it's because parts of Jurassic Park were filmed in Hawai'i? Wait...yeah I think it is. I think you-sawr-us- Rex! Matt McQuaiq, let go of that fence!!
Wow...freaking wow. Wow. This is Honolulu from Pauli's Lookout. It's said that it's actually so windy up here that people have tried to jump off this summit to kill themselves, and because the wind is so intense it blows them back onto the precipace...
...fortunately for me this was the case.
Hawai'i has this rainbow on their license plate. I know that none of you knew that because, well, Hawai'ian cars don't always make it onto the mainland. But anyway, I felt ULTRA gay driving around Hawai'i with this big rainbow splattered across the front of my car. But then I hap'ed to walk out onto the balcony of my hotel. OH! so THAT'S why they put rainbows on their license plates! It's not because everyone's gayyyyyyyy but because on just about any given day you can see a rainbow right in you backyard. It was unreal.
So those are some of my pics from Honolulu and the surrounding area. I'm on Kauai, "The Garden Island" right now. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have about a thousand more pictures to put up on my blog, but right now John Stossel is doing a great special on Greed right now, so I gotta run. Hang loose, people.
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