Taking down the French!

Here's a little story for you all,

So last week Courtney comes into my office and is all like "Hey I got these crappy pretzels at the Dollar Store. They taste really bad". Now it may just be me, but whenever someone suggests that the food that they are eating or drink that they are drinking tastes bad, my first inclination is to say "Oh, let me try it!". So I did. I ate some of these Pretzels...or so they were called!! They were the crappiest excuse for pretzels that I've ever had. They tasted kind of like plaster, and had about the same consistency.

I was kind of upset that the pretzels were so bad (they are from the dollar store, what did I expect). What really irked me though is that they were made by French people in Canada!! CANADA!! Half of the bad was even in French! That was the last straw in my book. The French sit there, smoking their faggots, wearing berets, making sub-par pretzels and foisting them on the American public ALMOST as a slap in the face to our collective palate. It's as if the French are saying "Zeez Stupid Emiikans don't know good tazte...we'll give zhem deh, how do you say, crrrrrrrrappy pretzels ho ho hoooo viva la France!" I for one would not stand for it.

Being the quick action-taker that I am, I hopped on LeClerc (of course a French company name too)'s website to shoot them off a scathing email. This is what I said:


"Commentaires :
To Whom it May Concern,
I am now eating some of the LeClerc Classic Pretzel Twists. I must say, in my humble opinion, that these are the worst pretzels that I have ever eaten. Never distribute to Dollar Tree, or any store for that matter, again. I think making snack bars would be a better use of your employees' time. Thank you!
Andrew"



I of course was expecting nothing in return. What I got was a slap in the face from Veronique Fru Fru Frenchie:


Dear Mr. Andrew:
Following your email on our Web site, we would like to thank you for taking the time to write and tell us about our Pretzels.
Be assured that we do our utmost to offer the best quality products to our customers. If it is possible for you, we will very appreciate that you confirm the lot number that appears on the product that looks like : 03E230 11:22. This way we will be able to find out if something has been wronmg for that particular production.
Thank you very much for your cooperation.
Best regards,
Véronica Simard
Biscuits leclerc Ltd.

So many things wrong here:
1) She spelled 'wrong' wrong...a blantant slap in the face to the English launguage
2) She didn't even use proper sentence structuring ("we will very appreciate"? come on)
3) They don't apologize for the crap I ate!!! I ate crappy pretzels, and the company writes back to tell me "We make high quality products. Go back to the store, get the package number, and write us back"?!?! What happened to "We're sorry your pretzels sucked" or "Hey have a free bag on us". That's the American Way (along with touching the bonus, Mike and Colin I'm looking your direction)!! But I guess the French Way is "We're never wrong, we're just a bunch of stupid babies". Eat me, France...I'd probably taste better than your pretzels!