Trilogies Rule

Think about it. Don't trilogies just rule? Things that come in three are always good. Either they're so good that they deserve to have three, or they're so bad that one of them is laughably good. Lord of the Rings - killer trilogy. Star Wars - so money. Back to the Future - two good movies and a third one that's downright high on the unintentional comedy scale. With that in mind, I'm going to begin a trilogy of blogs referring to the U2 concert that I attended last weekend. Consider today the opening act.

Last Saturday morning I left at 9:00 A.M. for Chicago. The concert was Saturday evening and I was supposed to leave Friday at lunch, spend the night there, explore the city Saturday, concert it up Saturday night, and then leave Sunday morning. It stretches out the trip and is a ton of fun. But unfortunately some stuff came up and we had to leave Saturday. Yes you're reading this right we were going to drive for roughly 14 hours in the span of 30. It's totally worth it though since U2 is sweet.

So we leave at 9:00. As the admissions counselor and seasoned traveler I am I had this trip planned out. Map Quest was throwing me the 7 hour line and I knew we'd have to stop once on the way for gas, food, and restroom necessities. My best guess was 6 and a half hours. So Jess and I head West. Mistake number one, passing the plaza that had a Manchu Wok. Anytime you can get some Chinese on the road it's a good day. We figured the next stop would do though. Unfortunately this offered a Burger King, Sbarros (this business seems to live solely off rest stops), and a Jody Maroni's Sausage World. Bad move #2 on our part, forgetting that this stop was at 11:35 - peak lunch hour.

The place was swarming with unparented children, lots of elderly, and generally anyone trying to get a meal. The line for Burger King was long and the line for people waiting for their food was even longer. It kind of makes you wonder what type of person is making your food at a Burger King rest stop ... So we get back in the car deciding neither of these are acceptable. Drive on to Indiana at which point we still have to stop for food. Bad move number 2 an extra stop due to poor planning. God smiled upon us though as this rest stop had three things that make a rest stop: McDonalds, Dairy Queen, and a hot girls. (Note: These girls were on the scale of Indian hotness, not national hotness. You take what you can get when a rest stop appears in the middle of a field with some irrigation and burnt out crops.)

After nourishment and stretching it was back in the car to finish the trip through Indiana. Two points of note here - One Indiana has nothing really other than South Bend up north. No wonder everyone goes nuts over Notre Dame football it's all they have. Two Gary, Indiana is horrible, despite what the Music Man leads you to believe. It has bad roads, more bad roads, bumps in the road making it worse, and it's ultra crowded. Bad area. Onto Illinois where I swear I had to leave my soul in order to compensate for all the tolls I had to pay. I feel like every 4 miles I had to pay 85 cents. Do they think I'm stupid and think, "Oh wow at least I'm only paying 85 cents it won't add up to a lot or anything. I definitely feel jipped.

Finally arrived to the Hampton Inn at 4:00 P.M. It took me 7 hours all told. I blame the second stop, it absolutely killed us. I also blame tons of kids, incompetent Burger King workers, parents, and too many tolls. My sister and I made a pact on the trip not to eat at Burger King the rest of the time, largely due to their horrible commercials with the King costume with the gigantic head. What's up with commercials lately using mascots with big heads? The Quaker Oats commercial the other day had a huge plastic Quaker head on! Do the suits in the board room not realize this scares us? Cause it sure doesn't make me want to buy their food.

Lessons learned on the trip:

1.) Start earlier that 9:00
2.) Don't stop at peak lunch hour.
3.) Don't let your kids run around unattended.
4.) Don't let rest stop 173 pass you by on I-80 in Ohio. The rest of it is downhill.
5.) Indiana sucks something fierce.
6.) Gary, Indiana is overrated.
7.) If you live in Chicago have a lot of kids and just trade them in instead of tolls. It has to be a money saver.

Part two of the trilogy tomorrow perhaps. Stay tuned ...