Verizon Wireless

Their commercial just came on my TV. That's why they made it as the subject of my blog. That and the fact that they have killer reception most everywhere I go. So all in all, I've been pleased. I'm also extremely pleased with the honeydew melon candle that I just bought. If you could smell Heaven this would be it. It's amazing and it's one of those huge ones with three wicks. My room will be smelling heavenly for multiple days now ... nay weeks.

I have a couple of beefs this week. The main one being television commercials. It seems like everything in life has a shelf life. Food obviously has a shelf life. Jokes have a shelf life. Those of you in the Christian realm know that praise songs have a shelf life, although still too long. I can only sing, "Yooooou came from Heaven to earth to shoooooooooow the way ... from the eaaaarrth to the cross myyyyyyy debt to pay." The shelf life should have been oh I don't know maybe two years shorter. Heck even commercials on the radio have shelf life. It seems the one thing in life that doesn't have a shelf life happens to be the one thing we get bombarded with the most - commercials on TV.

I was watching the final four the other night when I noticed three commercials: Lebron James shooting really far jump shots, the old zoom zoom Mitsubishi commercial, and finally the stupid commercial for cialis. Problem one. I'm sick of seeing commercials for a year. I may be slightly dumb and I may not have a great attention span, but there are only so many times I can laugh at a commercial. There are only so many times that I can sit there for thirty seconds and let you have my undecided attention. All commercials should have to be pulled off within a year max. I dare say 4 - 6 months.

Problem 2 - These commercials have nothing to do with what the product is. Zoom zoom has nothing to do with cars. Mitsubishis are not sweet enough to go zoom zoom. They're crappy little cars. Lebron James cannot hit huge jump shots the whole length of the court, nor does it have anything to do with Powerade. Nothing at all. Finally that purple or red couch has nothing to do with Cialis or getting it up for your wife. Ever. Frankly I find those commercials offensive. It starts with this, and then it's the slippery slope. Some day we're watching commercials of naked girls on TV like they do in Europe and wondering how we got there. You know where it starts, with commercials about old dudes who can't get it up for sex. Yeah then it's the next step about something that enhances sex even more. Then it's about naked dudes and naked chicks and the clothing that maybe they put on. Bam - moral degradation.

Problem 3 - These commercials suck for the most part. Let's move on from the aforementioned commercials. Take McDonalds for example. If you watched any NFL this year you saw the one with the dude who comes in and throws food down the coffee table and he talks about his "Tbago (or whatever) and it's a decorative sham that protects." This has nothing to do with food. It also doesn't make me want to eat McDonalds. Some dudes sitting around talking about shams. Maybe if they watched football and played video games it would be sweet. That might make me say (if I was a pawn who fell for this crap), "Hmmm good idea some burgers while playing Madden." As is I'm not saying, "Burgers while talking about shams."

Exhibit two commercials for beer that talk about taste loss. I usually like beer commercials. They're really flashy and for people with the attention span of a slug a.k.a. me. But when you talk about beer taste loss and that's why I should drink Miller; you make one enormously wrong assumption. I don't drink beer that makes me feel like I've lost all my taste. I don't drink crap beer like Bud Light. I drink good beer like George Killians. So don't make beer telling me to drink yours cause the other beer sucks. Either make me laugh in a good way that I can relate. Or tell me why your beer is better. And no the fact that I can save 25 cents on yours is not good enough.

Exhibit three commercials for cars that are just flat out horrible. Showing me your car doing a 360 on a dark street isn't going to cut it. I CAN'T DO THAT WITH MY CAR! I GET ARRESTED FOR EVEN TRYING! Show me how the car does when it hits a pot hole. Show me how the car does driving down interstates. Is it going to always pull to the left? How does my car do getting off the stop light or turning through the drive through that has a tight turn. Am I going to have to three point turn it? I hate that. Tell me that my car won't have to three point turn in incredibly inoppurtune spots.

You throw all three of these problems together and it makes TV almost unbearable to watch at times. I wish that they would pull commercials. Do they not know the power these bad commercials have? I have already decided never to purchase any McDonalds, Burger King (thanks to the gay king and singing), or Sierra Mist because their commercials are so lame. You have the power to sway me to, or against, your side with a decent commercial. I'm seriously paying attention, so don't make a bad one. It's like marketing execs are so out of touch with people they don't know how to make a good commercial. Just get out of the board room and onto the street.

I was going to rant about some other stuff, but I'll save that for later this week. I feel like I got a lot off my chest. I think Wednesday I'm going to gripe about business and the lack of choice. We got royally ripped today by our gas company and frankly I'm sick of it. But can I change my gas company? No. Can I change my electric provider? No. I'm stuck. This is why a free society is better. A democracy is key. Capitalism is key. People who don't have the freedom of choice are getting hosed. Today's run in with the gas company showed me more than ever that people deserve a choice. It's what drives better effort and business. But until then, if you're out on your bike tonight ... do wear white.