Your field slave is my CEO

The Civil War is over. I'm not sure if you caught that headline on Fox News last night. Or maybe you didn't get the forward from your mother who thinks e-mail forwards rule. But General Lee did surrender his cause and the war ended at Appomattox Court House. Here see for yourself For the majority of you reading this blog, this will not come as a surprise. You have most likely taken a history course at some point in the last ... I don't know ... 15 years of your life!!!! So why am I making a big point out of this you ask? Allow me to explain myself.

For those of you who aren't Andrew, you may not know that on my last vacation I headed in the general direction of south looking at law schools and playing golf along the way. We hit up Dickinson Law School in Carlisle, PA. Unfortunately not as sweet as I thought it would be. It's nice to be central to several things, but there is one huge problem. We stopped by the Taco Bell because in case you didn't know, anything you want to learn about an area you can learn at a Taco Bell. We saw a plethora of low rent people and the burritos and crunch wrap supremes are 10 cents more there than in Western PA! How do you charge an average of 10 cents more for everything in an area of the state that's almost identical to another with lower prices. I was baffled. Therefore no Carlisle for me.

Then down to Virginia and all over. Went to Colonial Williamsburg to see some stuff as well as William and Mary. Went to Virginia Beach. Played some golf and saw Regent. What needs to be said here is if you hate golf one of two things applies to you most likely. 1.) You're a baby who can't hit the ball after you made fun of the game for years. So you're so upset you just say you hate golf. 2.) You have never played or hit the perfect shot. Because when that ball travels some 230 yards and lands four feet from the pin - all is right in the world. I love that game. It would be nice if I lived somewhere I could play more than say three months of the year.

Then down through NC to Columbia, SC to see University of South Carolina. Now I had heard it was hot and found that easy to believe. I had heard the people were nice and maintained a slower pace of life and found that easy to believe. I had also heard there were restaurants known as Waffle House that were slightly sketchy but AWESOME and I found that easy to believe. (I can verify that last one, dang do they make a killer waffle and some hashbrowns that took approximately 4 years off my life.) I had also heard stories of people who referred to the Civil War as "The Waaaaar of Northern Aggression." I heard these people still hung some confederate flages and if given the chance to secede would still do so today. This I found hard to believe. But you know what ....

It's true ...

This is someone's kid! I had found a picture of someone flying a Confederate flag right over a John Kerry poster, but it wouldn't let me post it. Stupid Democrats. Anyway, these are the type of people that still hold onto these archaic and asinine beliefs. I walked into a Maurice's BBQ place for some good Southern BBQ and there were confederate flags falling everywhere. Quotes saying things similar to, "If General Lee was a rebel than George Washington too was a rebel. Lee was just fighting for things he deemed to be correct and the ability to practice them in his state. Washington is as much as rebel as Lee." George Washington ... George Freaking Washington!?! He's the Father of our free and independent country for God's sake! Look I like Robert E. Lee as much as the next person, but there's no way he's on the same planet as George Washington. These people think they were right.

And you know the scary part sort of? I side politically with a lot of these people. I have to slow down to realize this and agree with them on a small level. They wanted state rights. And for the large part I'm down with that. I think that states should have the ability to decide some things that the federal government has no jurisdiction over. It cuts down red tape and makes things way more efficient. But there are certain things even states shouldn't allow. These generally include, but are not limited to by no means: killing people, owning people, and mutating people. There are others, but for the sake of brevity I think this covers the vast majority of them. So I have them on state's rights, but c'mon now guys. Let it go. They're selling little Confederate flags with their BBQ dinners at this place. Kind of scary. By no means is it the prevailing belief down there, but it is there. And I'm baffled. Do these people not see how awesome people from all walks of life are? Do they not realize that women, African Americans, and Hispanic people are CEOs these days? I'm baffled. I'm going to say it a third time - I am baffled.

If any of you have stories you'd like to share or advice to help me cope. Let me know. I'm dying here knowing this is the case. By the way, fun fact for you all out there. I learned that the county Myrtle Beach is in has the second most golf course per square mile in the country. You know where number one is? Good old home! Allegheny County in Western PA. Bow down PA haters!!! I'm out for now. Later honkies!