Taking down the French!

Here's a little story for you all,

So last week Courtney comes into my office and is all like "Hey I got these crappy pretzels at the Dollar Store. They taste really bad". Now it may just be me, but whenever someone suggests that the food that they are eating or drink that they are drinking tastes bad, my first inclination is to say "Oh, let me try it!". So I did. I ate some of these Pretzels...or so they were called!! They were the crappiest excuse for pretzels that I've ever had. They tasted kind of like plaster, and had about the same consistency.

I was kind of upset that the pretzels were so bad (they are from the dollar store, what did I expect). What really irked me though is that they were made by French people in Canada!! CANADA!! Half of the bad was even in French! That was the last straw in my book. The French sit there, smoking their faggots, wearing berets, making sub-par pretzels and foisting them on the American public ALMOST as a slap in the face to our collective palate. It's as if the French are saying "Zeez Stupid Emiikans don't know good tazte...we'll give zhem deh, how do you say, crrrrrrrrappy pretzels ho ho hoooo viva la France!" I for one would not stand for it.

Being the quick action-taker that I am, I hopped on LeClerc (of course a French company name too)'s website to shoot them off a scathing email. This is what I said:


"Commentaires :
To Whom it May Concern,
I am now eating some of the LeClerc Classic Pretzel Twists. I must say, in my humble opinion, that these are the worst pretzels that I have ever eaten. Never distribute to Dollar Tree, or any store for that matter, again. I think making snack bars would be a better use of your employees' time. Thank you!
Andrew"



I of course was expecting nothing in return. What I got was a slap in the face from Veronique Fru Fru Frenchie:


Dear Mr. Andrew:
Following your email on our Web site, we would like to thank you for taking the time to write and tell us about our Pretzels.
Be assured that we do our utmost to offer the best quality products to our customers. If it is possible for you, we will very appreciate that you confirm the lot number that appears on the product that looks like : 03E230 11:22. This way we will be able to find out if something has been wronmg for that particular production.
Thank you very much for your cooperation.
Best regards,
Véronica Simard
Biscuits leclerc Ltd.

So many things wrong here:
1) She spelled 'wrong' wrong...a blantant slap in the face to the English launguage
2) She didn't even use proper sentence structuring ("we will very appreciate"? come on)
3) They don't apologize for the crap I ate!!! I ate crappy pretzels, and the company writes back to tell me "We make high quality products. Go back to the store, get the package number, and write us back"?!?! What happened to "We're sorry your pretzels sucked" or "Hey have a free bag on us". That's the American Way (along with touching the bonus, Mike and Colin I'm looking your direction)!! But I guess the French Way is "We're never wrong, we're just a bunch of stupid babies". Eat me, France...I'd probably taste better than your pretzels!

Officially

I have officially entered the realm of geeky nerds by downloading a program known as filetopia. I'm on a quest to find the full version of Kanye West at the Grammys last night. I think I'm close to finding it, but not quite there yet. Some guys say they should have it ripped and up by this afternoon, we'll see if they are correct or not. Grammys were alright. Good performance by U2 so that's sweet. But it makes me mad that Ray Charles won all those Grammys. Don't get me long, I love Ray. Georgia on my mind is in my top 50 songs most likely, but don't give a dude like 7 grammys cause he died. He's not even here to get them or enjoy them. I think it's bogus when people do stuff like that, way to ruin the Grammys voters, way to ruin the Grammys.

I'm going to also comment on Bailey's (a new reader woooooo) comment. I kind of agree. I like some of the stunts they do. But some of them are just flat out gay. I don't want to see people on dirt bikes go off a snow ramp and let go of the handlebars and then come back on the bike. They all practically do the same thing. I do want to see sweet jumps and ballsy things. A lot of them have huge stones ... and scars to show for it. Crazy. The X-games have an upside, but ESPN advertises them like they're friggin the NFL. Huge props to some X-gamers, no props to ESPN for continuing to: A.) overhype yourself, B.) show more drama a day than actual sports C.) continually jumping the shark and putting gay stuff on too many channels. They used to be sweet when there were like two sportscenters and stuff like ESPN 2 and ESPN News and ESPN Classic were all on one station. Too watered down and the X-games is part of that.

Valentines Day definitely sucks. I like to argue that it's gay for everyone, not just people who are single like myself and Andrew (ladies take note two eligible guys living in a crappy house are up for grabs.) I think it totally goes against a relationship, not that I've ever been in one. But shouldn't you do nice stuff for the person you're wif every day of the week or all the time, not just one day a year. Plus this day of the year crap costs more than usual, so you can't do nice stuff as often. You buy like one rose today and it costs roughly $26.73. When if you bought them other days of the year you could buy more and do sweeter stuff. Valentines Day blows, lets not all try to pretend it's sweet.

Took the LSAT this weekend. I'll let you know how it went March 7th when I get my results. It could have gone well, could have been horrible. All I know is that it was the most mentally exhausting thing I've ever done ... ever. A girl broke into tears halfway through the test during our break and I heard a guy fall to his knees and explain how badly the test ... ummm ... had it's way with him to put it mildly. It was unreal. I'm glad it's done and the stress is past. I also had the lovely experience of hearing the worst band I've ever heard. Three people, no bass player, and the singer was a horrible horrible girl. It sounded as if someone was pooping in my ear. Oh man, that bad. Anyone out there play Fable for Xbox? It ate away the rest of my weekend and is so totally sweet. My character is ultimate evil personified. I love that game. I'm out for now. Later dudes.

Valentines Day pt. II

Or part DIEUX as the French would say. The French also say other stuff like "I like to smoke faggots!" and "Give me a baguette to eat while I wear my black and white striped shirt!" and "I have a beret!". But we're not here to discuss the French, we're here to talk about Vday again really quickly.

For as much as I knock V-day today, Courtney did get me some sweet Valentines day presents. She also got me a new cell phone which works REALLY well. And also, I don't think I've gotten as many Valentines from one person, at one time, ever! Thanks Courtney, you sure know how to make a guy feel special!

Does anyone have a full length clip of Kanye at the Grammys?

Valentines Day

Does everybody know what today is? That's right you do: it's Valentines Day, ho faces. Valentines Day. What a misnomer. They make it sound all fluffy and fruity but it's really not. It's about some dude who got kilt (short for 'killed') for trying to marry people, apparently. That's what I think happened, but you can read it for yourself here:

http://www.pictureframes.co.uk/pages/saint_valentine.htm

This delightfully gay website will break down:
1) what valentine's day is about,
2) who saint valentine was, and
3) some valentines day customs.

What this website doesn't tell you is:

1) How Cabbage Patch kids got into the V-day mix
2) Why you get valentines from ugly girls in elementary school
3) How many brain cells you will lose reading this short history of V-day.

So check this website out, because I don't have the energy to make cynical comments about valentines day all day...all valentines day. Unless you have someone to fawn over, I say Valentines day is a waste of time.

I seriously have to stop being negative, maybe some coffee will make my face happy!!

I KNOW THE ANSWERS!

1) Ska never dies, it's still around. It's just under the surface of unpopular music. If you want to revive ska I'll help you...listen to Catch 22 and Less Than Jake again. I still get pumped up listening to that. Oh and Hey! Ska byt the suidice machines is still such an awesome song, JSO RULES!
2) The Lemon Jolly Rancher is inferior to: 1) the strawberry, grape, and watermelon ranchers in that order. It's no wonder it's not around any more because it had only a niche market. However, if you had to get rid of a Rancher, I think the cinnamon ones should go. They blow hard.
3) Write blogs and sports web pages...OR play Fable all day like Chaney (don't think I didn't see you at 3:00AM this morning rotting your brain out).
4) Teleporting would be so incredibly great. Here are the problems with teleporting that I see: a) What if you and someone teleport to the same place at the same time? You get a mess. b) What if someone teleports into your bathroom while you taking a long call? You get embarassed. c) What happens if someone teleports into space? They die. Too many variables with teleporting. Now time travel, I've already looked into that for myself...
5) I have no idea and for one and irate that Arrested Development is being canceled. That was the only show worth watching or blogging about on TV!!! How who will I have inside jokes with?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! DIE FOX DIE!
6) The Xgames are sweet and take great athletic prowess to pull off. I like to snowboard a lot, so I will say that Xgames have pertinance to my life.
7) It would't be cool because knowing you you'd use your powers for evil!!!! Xray vision in the girls locker room AGAIN Keith?!

Here's a question: How sweet is 311 honestly? And how sweet is it that my little brother's goal for the year is to get down to New Orleans on March 11 for the Annual 3-11 day concert with 311?! I've succeeded as a big brother I think.

Yeah blogger

So I'm getting pumped about our blog a little more now that I know Andrew isn't the only person to read it. I found out of course this week that Fowler reads it, but also that Laura Thomas and Kyle Scarbro read it. Notice the shout out to our faithful readers here with us since the beginning. When our blog reaches critically massive levels of success we will remember you ... most likely. You can just be assured that we won't pass you on the street and forget to say hello at least. Speaking of Laura, I'm going to continue in my tradition of mentioning good news in my blog. Last night Laura came over to our hopping bachelor pad, and out of the goodness of her heart, made us dinner last night. Don't blush Laura, just making sure you get mad props. We are totally appreciative of her doing so, especially when our apartment is in its early stages of being put together. It's not really sweet yet, and we don't have all the fun stuff put together, but she came over and made us sweet food. Way to be a servant Laura, way to be.

Questions I would like to have answered in my life:

1.) What the heck happened to ska?
2.) Why did they get rid of the lemon jolly rancher? It was by far my favorite. You can't just take away something that's been a staple of your product and not offer it anymore. You have to at least offer it in some way. I may never buy jolly ranchers again?
3.) What am I supposed to do now that there is no football on?
4.) Do you think there is any way to teleport ever?
5.) Why are they cancelling Arrested Development? Will reality TV ever end? Why must the state of TV suck so bad currently? Woof.

That's about it for now. I'm going to avoid / move on from Andrew and I's (you like that Drew) argument regarding God making every decision about your life and everything here on his green earf. He and I will respectfully agree to disagree on a matter with no true answer. My last assertion is that I believe God is sovereign and infallible, but somehow there is a gray area where we have the ability to make the decisions for sweet things. Like surely God didn't come up with the Winter X Games. It has to be some idiot dudes idea to turn halfpipe into a snowboarding event and suck at it a lot. Winter X Games blow.

6.) When will ESPN stop showing TV shows and gay things like X Games and start showing more sports shows?

My last point, some of my friends and I are starting a sports website. On this website we will write a couple articles a week. It'll be informal sports talk filled with analysis, wit, and insight. If you like that kind of stuff, I'll be giving you the website here when we get it started. I'll be writing roughly two articles a week for it. It's not every day thoughts like my blog, but stuff with more thought put into it so it should be even better. Alright, I'm off to go interview kids ... I hope they're not gay.

7.) How sweet would it be if I was a super hero?

God planned for you to blog that...

Let me say a couple of things here. First, how pumped am I that Fowler keeps putting his 2 cents into the comment section of our blog? I am so excited to have a regular contributor. And no I'm not a cynical dude to begin with, I just like to front to see how people respond. But I am serious about the Soverrignty of God. Fowler brings up a good point which leads me to point 2) I don't think Keith or I's point will ever be reconciled...yeah I just say I's. It's late and I's tired so I'm not going to speak good stuff to it. But the Truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, though I agree with Fowler about his 1st and 2nd paragraph in his comment on the last blog. I think everyone should read it. Good work my man.

If our Blog is gospel truth, is Fowler's commentary the Apocypha? And am I a heretic for putting my words on the same level as the Gospel? Clearly someone is tired in this equation, and it isn't the Holy Spirit. Bed is talking some serious trash...

Calvin and Hobbes

I disagree with Andrew's logic. I think he just attributed a thing to God because it's good. Nowhere in Genesis does it say, "On the 10th day God created the electoral college. After that he appointed a president of the land via this electoral system." I think Andrew is just saying that democracy is of God because it's a good thing. Why then does he not think communism is of God ... because it's bad? You can't just go around attributing things that are good to God. I tend to be less of a hard-line determinist type person than Andrew. I think man has free will and can come up with the construct of government. Since man came up with this construct, it is inevitably flawed (i.e. democratic party ... just kidding). It's the best that we have to work with at this point, but obviously not the best.

Sorry Drew, but I don't think the same way. I guess that's the point of a web blog. I don't believe we own our own salvation or anything, but I believe that we can do other things, that are flawed, but lasting, in this life. Just a thought, no real humor in this post, let me know your thoughts.

Ok I'll tip my hat now

Alright kids here is some more comentary on being a contributor to society.

And this is also where I tip my hat and, Fowler, I can owe it all to you. I was going to be all sneaky and try to mask my true feelings about improving the world but I will say that I think humans can have a great impact on the world. "Wait wait wait Andrew you can't go changing your position all willy nilly like that? I hate you!!" you might say to me. BUT WAIT! Hear me out here. If you read my argument carefully you will see that I only mention 'humans' contributing to the world and I believe that human endeavor, based soley on human motivations and human drives and human means will ultimately pass away. The temporal creates the temporal and cannot do otherwise. It's not in man's nature to be able to create change or establish anything outside himself that won't pass away.

So where does the change come? How can man be an agent of change if it's not in his nature to change? I'll tell you how! With the aid of the supernatural, i.e. God! Granted I'm taking an admittedly Christian perspective here, so if you're not under the persuasion that Christ gives meaning and purpose to all activity you may find my argument stupid. But I think that all goodness and all integrity and all positivity flows from Christ. What good we can impart on society comes from the goodness of God himself. Government (particularly a democratic one), Fowler argues, is a manmade insitution. I purport that it's a divine institution given to man by one outside of time and outside of the temporal. I think socialism is a perversion of a democratic government. Where has it succeeded? Where has it positively impacted those subjected to it? Guess what? It hasn't. Man made-communism. God breathed-democracy. I know someone out there is probably cringing at my notion, but that's my idea and I'm sticking to it.

Man is the vessel and all good comes from God. Even the good deeds that we do, I believe don't ultimately stem from humans but stem from God. I can't go into a diatribe right now and break down my argument to every minute point because Keith is whistling and talking loudly like a jag-off and disrupting any semblence of concentration I can muster. But the point being What man does passes away. You put man's works and a holy motivation behind it? I think that impacts people. The impact of the spiritual on the temporal produces lasting change. So if you want to go out and make a positive change in this world, do it for Christ. the witness you becomes, the lives you touch, the things you make, the instituions you establish, the papers you write will all be infused with that timeless spiritual nature that breathes into them life beyond our years and impact beyond what we can ever see with our cloudy, finite eyes. There I'm done.

LSAT Horribleness

I am taking the LSATs this Saturday as I mentioned yesterday. My walls are starting to close in around me now. I see the test coming and last night instead of hard core studying I watched Duke vs. UNC and played a lot of Fable. I really wish I had studied more. I'll never make it in law school, I don't have the study ethics (if that makes sense). So I guess I'm not really sure why I'm taking the LSATs. Part of it I think is my desire yesterday to make an impact and I see that as the best way. Molding the laws of the land, going into politics and making a difference, or just being a fricking sweet lawyer. I don't think that I have the type of personality for it though or the drive to do it. This is kind of making me think the LSATs are less important. Basically I'm screwed.

On a more happy note yesterday I purchased some of the Sweet Tart Sweet Hearts from Walmart. They're so undeniably sweet. Little heart phrases (Be Mine, True Love, I'm Yours minus the gay ones on the old school chalky hearts IM Me, Fax Me, TXT Me) and they taste like little tiny sweet tarts. Unreal food item, right up there with the best seasonal food items. The top seasonal food item has to be the Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights. They taste like cinnamon pumpkin cakes of goodness. Really, come Fall you HAVE TO GET SOME!

So Courtney just came into my office and said that I gained street cred. this fall. Somehow I don't think she has the correct definition of Street cred. Street cred for all you crackers out there is street credibility a.k.a. how well you carry yoursefl on the street and appear as credible and hard. DMX defines street cred, great point Andrew about DMX having pit bulls, he's just hard as nails. You don't hear him slamming G-Unit or siding with the Terror Squad (great post 9-11 name by the way) he just comes to peoples aid and rolls with EFFING DOGS! So tough right now, if I could be any man in a fight, I'd be DMX. Thanks for the compliment Courtney, we love ya' round here, but I'm not sure I have much street cred.

Big shout out to our man Fowler, who if he keeps this up may become an honorary contributing member of the blog. He's smoking anyone out there who is reading this. For goodness sake just comment once in a while, we are giving you GOLD HERE friggin GOLD! Anyway, I'm off to Taco Bell for a little bit of lunch. Grilled Stuffed Chicken Burrito is phenomenal. Then I'll slog through work this afternoon, followed inevitably by studying for something I'm not cut out to do, and then hopefully some Fable before bed. Well dudes stay cool and try not to suck like North Korea ... way to be communist and make nukes have fun being in power for a few more months.

Music for Keith

First off, let me say that yes DMX may be the hardest rapper out there. The dude travels not with rough looking thugs who would curse you out and say something derrogatory about your mom. DMX rolls with freaking pit bulls who bite you unmercifully. I'll take a mf over a b-i-t-e any day!

And as for music that Keith should listen to (sans deathmetal, which really does get a bad rap):
1) Brand New-really mellow kind of whiny rock
2)The Chemical Brothers
3) Taking Back Sunday
4) The Strokes
5) 311...of course

And don't be cynical, and I'll tell you why later. Stay baffled and rock out.

DMX

I think my blog is a good place to reassert what I have always felt. If I saw DMX in the street, I think he would stab me in the chest, laugh, and then leave. He has to be the hardest rapper. He's be all like, "Whaaaaaat! You just been stabbed ho!" Then I'd be left there bleeding and he'd go rap some more. DMX is so tough.

Cynicism abounds ...

Wow ... Andrew ... way to destroy the next 50 years of my life in a few swift key strokes. Here's the sad part, I typically on a daily basis think like he does. I tell myself, there's no way I'll ever make a lasting impact or ever contribute something positive and worthwhile to society. I mean I'm not going to ever make America anything sweeter than company rooted in free market ideas, Christian values, and republican. I'm never going to be known as Ronald Reagan who did great things for America and was a huge part of the Berlin wall falling. I know that I'm not going to be creating any stinking light bulbs. There has to be something though, something I can do to make an impact and shape the world. I can't let this cynicism overtake me, or I will just stay here and be an admissions counselor for the rest of my life. What's the purpose of living if men don't strive to do great things?

I don't know if this is unreasonable of me to desire or what. I don't even know if there is anyway I can get on the life track to do great things. I guess I'm just destined to be a fish in a bowl impacting only my little circle of influence with base comments, pieces of humor, and little to no insight. I just feel like as it is now, I can't live the rest of my life. I feel as though I'm influencing people, but only on a small level. Our entire lives people tell us we will do great things and we can do anything we want to do. Is this a lie?

Anyway, I'm going to try to get back into the tradition of sharing good news with you who read our blog. As of now I know this is Joel and Jeff Fowler. Seriously, mad props to Fowler for commenting, even if it's about his pathetic life as a married person and "the obvious" part of being married. Way to chime and Fowler, and keep enjoying being married and all the perks. Come out to Pittsburgh, I know it's an economically depressed city, but there are tons of jobs, I promise ... sort of ... I have no good news today, but I'll start again soon.

Things I think I know:

1.) We're getting digital cable so we can get more sweet channels. We're going to get the boomerang channel, it's the one with all the old cartoons like Flinstones, GI Joe, and Super Friends. It's so sweet.

2.) We cooked last night, well Jordan did. Cooking is going to suck and I'm going to lose roughly 40 pounds I bet.

3.) U2 is such a sweet band. I am going to see them in 87 days. Not that I'm counting, but I seriously can't wait.

4.) The LSATs are this Saturday that I'm taking and I don't think I'm ready for them. Oh well not much I can do now is there.

5.) Nelly is pretty sweet.

6.) Any music out there you guys think I should try and listen too? Please no death metal or country. Thanks for the input.

I'm out.

The Contribution

I agree with Keith, that we need to impact our culture. It can be debated by some that we will never be able to make a real contribution to society. "Andrew what are you talking about? You're crazy! Of COURSE we can give back to our culture! Stop talking that gibberish" Pish posh I say to you. This is where I transform into a cynic beyond belief! BLAO POOF!!

What can we give back to society? A fist full of nothing!! What good can you do as a human? What tangible contribution will you give to society that won't, at one point or another, pass away and be reuced to meaninglessness? The biggest philanthropist, the most generous compassion worker, the most ardent business person or lawyer- what do they all have in common? Their ambition ultimately ends in an attempt at social improvement, they make some small change, they die, they are forgotten, and then things that they worked for die eventually with them. Name one thing on this earth that man has made, or a way that man has improved society which will last forever? I'll give you a buck if you think of one thing. It all passes away, only to surface again where? On an eloquent epitaph. My cannons of cynicism and doubt are blazing and you just got hit with a rocket of angst.

"But Andrew" you inquire, "I thought you were a happy, optimistic dude who loved the Lord? Why you talkin' this jive?!". That, my friends in blog land, is a discussion for another day. Stay posted, like Fowler! Wooo!

Blao!

It's like blao! That's what the rappers say at least. I don't have a whole lot to say at this late hour other than what Andrew said. We are in our apartment and things are starting to shape up. My quality of life has definitely dropped a good thousand points, but at the same time, it's improving. I have my own space again, which I haven't been able to say for roughly a year. I got cable and internet today so I again have access to the outside world. Just a taste of things that you take for granted until they return: I was watching Hannity and Colmes tonight while hanging up pictures. Once Colmes sufficiently pissed me off with his raging liberalism I turned on the U2 concert from Slane Castle in Ireland. Either way it's sweet, it's like having a large single in college, but only I can put nails in the walls. All in all, not a bad gig. I can look up and see myself surrounded by my shrine to U2.

The only thing that is yet to be put up is my Steelers neon sign and I may just wait to do that. It's a heavy piece of stuff and I want to make sure that I do it correctly. But just having it on in my room on some boxes is considerably lifting my moods. The room has a ton of my flavor but in a bachelor kind of way really. I have all my posters up on the wall just kind of hanging with duct tape or poster putty. It's a far cry from my office where everything is framed and matching. Here is home and home is all the things you enjoy: Steelers, U2, and the Boston Celtics ... most likely in that order.

Question to ponder on a serious level for the day - Do you ever wonder if we will ever make an impact in this world? I'm talking real impact not something like a great epitaph and tons of people saying, "He was a great guy, truly good guy." I'm talking like Brad Pitt lines in the movie Troy. When the messenger boy says, "The Thessalonian you're fighting, he's the biggest man I've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him." Brad Pitt, Achilles, just responds simply, "That is why no one will remember your name." So hard right now.

I have a desire to leave a mark. I'm assuming all of us do, and currently these are motives that I have to keep from being my sole drive and motivation. These are ok things to desire, ambitions to strive for, but they shouldn't dictate life decisions. I really want to be sure that God is driving decisions that I make, not just the desire to be as sweet as Brad Pitt. I know my blogs are usually light hearted and I hope humorous but this is something that has been driving me of late. How can one do something that is so great everyone will remember him. If only I had created Gummy Bears ... then people would never forget my name.

Boof!

Pow I'm blogging from my new apartment and I feel like I'm just on vacation. That's kind of a cool feeling. I am kind of in limbo between being responsible and being a fat lazy sot! I think a heavy dose of Street Fighter 2, and a lack of nutritious eating may do me in before my time, however. Peace out from the Nightmare

Crap

I forgot to talk about my favorite SNL skit. I think for my money you have to go with Will Ferrell and one of his skits. All the Celebrity Jeopardy skits get an honorable mention with the Keanu Reeves one getting top billing. I think I have to go with the skit where Will Ferrell is Robert Gouleat (I'm not even sure that's spelled correctly). He's absolutely hysterical when he sings all the rap songs in a crooner voice, plus he gets in a staring contest with a deer. Enough said.

Depression

So this is the first time I've blogged in quite some time, and I can't promise that I'll be regular with the blogging either. I'm still fairly depressed from the Steeler game. I watched the Super Bowl last night and couldn't help but think, "The Steelers beat both these team this year." Oh well, I guess sports involves putting it together at the right time as well. On the good news front I went from the basic stage of depression to stage one. The difference with this stage is that I know longer constantly avoid sports or thinking about sports. I have begun to function in that realm of life with some sense of normality. The first stage of depression usually lasts another two weeks. It tends to take me a good month to recover if the Steelers lose in the playoff. The next stage enables me to be interested in the Steelers again. It's like trusting a person after they deeply hurt you. If your girlfriend calls you a fat pig, slaps you in the face, rips your heart out, and darkens your soul - It's going to take some time to trust again and invest. This is what the Steelers have done to me, but in another two weeks I'll go bounding back to our abusive relationship and begin to think who they're going to pick in the draft.

So on a more positive note; Andrew is right, we did move up to Grove City. Our place is a bit of a dump, but as we add personal touches to it it has become much nicer. Andrew is right, we do own a hookah and smoking apple flavored stuff is PHENOMENAL! Onto things I think I think:

1.) My sister and I are going to see U2 in Chicago May 7th. It's now three months until that day, join the countdown with me. I've never been to Chicago and I FRICKIN' LOVE U2. I will be so stoked that week.

2.) Bar-B-Que Fritos need to begin being sold in a bigger bag. They're a great snack food, but only come in that personal sized like kind of party bag. What the heck, I can buy Fritos in a bag large enough to clog my heart, but I can only get a mini-bag of their better version of snack food?!?

3.) Video games are so cool. I don't see how girls can't play them for hours on end.

4.) Owning your own apartment, although apparently sweet, kind of blows. I really have ZERO desire to cook and you have to buy all kinds of gay stuff.

5.) Monday nights at Elephant and Castle anyone? $2 bottle night is back.

6.) LSATs are this Saturday ... I'm kind of screwed.

I'm out you homos.

Who else you know....

Can take one week off, come back cold turkey and blog lids off? So other than the terrible transformation of Ma$e's verse in the Lean Back remix, nothing new is going down in W. PA. I'm also officially dead tired, so here is a short and concise blog to make everyone happy.

1) The Patriots are horrible (despite Super Bowl 39 evidence to the contrary).
2) I moved into a new apartment. I know no one cares, but I don't care that you don't care so bam.
3) I own a hookah, which happens to be an ultra sweet purchase. I have tubs of sheesha open in my room and it is making it smell awesome.
4) When Courtney says "I will kick you in the throat!!" in a threatening way, it makes me bust up laughing. Haha just thinking about it is funny.
5) Here's a thought provoker which I know Keith might take exception to. The question is: What has been the best SNL sketch of the last 10 years? I say Brian Fellow's Safari Planet. And I am right.


I'm going to go drink coffee and change out of my grumpy pants, maybe.

Checking in from Florida

Yeah, I'm still in Florida and the weather is still about 18 Billion times better than it is in Western, PA...which reminds me...

Why on earth did I volunteer to live in Western PA? Listen to this people. I was the loudest advocate of vacating Western PA. If you would have asked me a few short months ago where I was headed after graduation, I think my exact answer would have been "Anywhere but W. Pa". But now I have volunteered to stay and work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and love the people I work with and have some awesome, awesome friends up in yinzerland. But honestly, Smith...what are you thinking?

I was in Miami all last weekend, and it was nothing short of blissful. To walk outside in flip flops and a tshirt (and pants, sometimes) and not feel like my life was going to come to an end because of some arctic deep freeze was nothing short of blissful. Blissful people!! This is some serious good vibe-age going on. And the people I knew in Miami? All successfulnow, and all still as engaging and warm as when I left. I hung out with some people whom I haven't seen for around 8 years, and being back around them made me feel like I never left home. That is a feeling that I know very few people in W. Pa know about because very few of them have lived outside of W.Pa. So if you're reading this and can't relate, I'm not surprised.

Seriously though everyone should take at least a week or two out of their year to go to Florida. I'd venture a guess to say that you'd come back a lot happier, tanner, and appreciative of an area that has lots and lots of culture.

On a more reflective note, I'm still turning over this new year's resolution thing. Let me get pensive for a second too. This is going to seem like it's coming out of nowhere but hear me out. When you make friends with people, stay friends with people. Don't buy into the mentality of "Oh so and so USED to be my friend, but they are not anymore because blah blah blah" I just spent an entire weekend with friends who I haven't seen for a while, and for some of them I could have made excuses to stop being their friend. But you go back, see how much you really do value those friendships, and think to yourself "Is there anything better in this world than a good friend?" I'd say probably not. Granted situations in life, and in relationships make it hard to be friends with people sometimes. But the effort taken to preserve those friendships, and to value the good times that you have had with people, I think, is worth the effort. And do you really want to be sitting on your porch one day, reflecting on your life, and have a list of people who you 'used' to be friends with? Who's friendship you've let go to waste because it was convenient for you? That's garbage. The network of friends who you surround yourself with is a telling sign about one's character and and personality. What does it say about a person when all they have are lists of would-be-friends and the specters of relationships gone awry? Go talk to your old friends, even if it means eating a little crow of sucking up some pride.


That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sadness

Today has sucked something fierce. I'm not even going to blog anything at all. Seriously the depression might kill my blogging or existence as a normal human being forever. I echo Andrew's sentiments about sports. I'll say something more profound someday.

Things that have gone wrong today:
1.) Steelers lost to my least favorite team ever ... enough said

2.) U2 tours are all screwed up. I have to go to God knows where to see them since they decided to just hit like the whole west coast 85 million times and screw Southeast and barely hit the Northeast. I'm not happy U2 and I have to drive to God knows where to see you now.

3.) Car is gonna cost $347.12 to get fixed thanks to the school I work for not plowing the one road on campus and my broken tire rod costs a fortune.

4.) My bread was moldy at lunch.

5.) Tour guide didn't show up, so I had to give a freezing tour without gloves.

6.) Friggin Doctor won't get back to me regarding medicine.

7.) Steelers ... eff ...

How the Steelers have aged me

Ok, so admittedly I'm a fairweather Steelers fan. For what it's worth, I think I was going to come around this season anyway, because you can only fight off Steeler Mania for so long. What better time to hop on the bandwagon than when they have a rookie quarterback lead the team to the AFC Championship game!? As we speak, or as I speak and you will read later, the Steelers are on the verge of losing the game. It's 31-20 right now with 9 minutes left in the 4th. Very possible that they could come back, but not likely. This is why I hate investing myself into sports.

I have never really committed myself to a football team, save Florida State University. I think that the roller coaster of emotions is too terribly bittersweet. I'm not down there on the field. I have not ever been down on the field with the team, and Lord knows if I were to be down...dang it New England got a field goal and they're up by 2 solid touchdowns. See this is what I'm talking about people!!! You get so into a game that has no bearing on your life at all, but somehow you make it so that when your team loses your life isn't worth living. I'm to the point where if the Steelers lose tonight, the possibility of me skipping all my responsibilities in Florida and sitting in my hotel room all day just to mope is slowly becoming more of a reality. I would forego the joys of Florida, JUST to be sad for the Steelers who I can't even legitimately call MY Steelers. Don't get me wrong, I like watching football a lot. But I hate being an emotional wreck, and it looks like the Steelers and I are driving a car into a head on collision.

Ben just threw an interception (challenge that one Cowher!!!!!!!!!! That CAN'T be a catch!!!!) I'm going to go vomit.

Short Blog

Ok, it's snowing a ton and I hate western PA right now, but I didn't blog yesterday so I feel I need to.

Spent the first night in the new apartment. It's coming along swimmingly. The land lady let us stay the night even though we're not "officially" in yet. It's snowing a ton and I'm going to hate the commute home. This is gonna suck something fierce.

Played Street Fighter 2 and realized my skills have diminished somewhat. I refuse to play Andrew until I get back to normal. I own him actually. I beat him like 6 times out of 9. Seriously, he sucks.

My bed at my new place is a single ... it's small ... probably the only sucky part about moving up here.

Steeler game tomorrow ... if I ever get home I'll blog more tonight about important stuff. I'm off for now. Later dudes.

Things and Words

Blogging is so sweet. I was bored last night so I went through and read our blog, or at least what has not been archived yet. Is it bad that I find myself entertaining? I'm sure anyone could insert a clever jab at my character here, but Lord knows no one will post a comment so there goes a great opportunity.

But speaking of not sweet, we're supposed to get up to a foot of snow this evening. This wouldn't be a bad deal, but for the fact that I have to get up and come to work tomorrow. Woof. Maybe I'll get to spend the first evening in my apartment snowed in. Hooray for winter (that's reaction formation for those psychology majors out there in blogland).

Ok that's the bad news. Here's the good news: I'm buying a hookah today! If the weather is bad tonight, I can't think of a better way to pass the time than to burn a bowl of delicious sheesha. Mmmmmm for what it's worth, I think there are few greater tastes on the human palate than the smoke of rose/jasmine sheesha. So fresh and so clean, clean. Also, I will probably spend the evening kicking the crap out of Keith in Street Fighter 2. Ask him who the best SFII player is, and if he says anyone other than Andrew he's a liar. If he lies, ask him about how he broke his toe. That should straighten him out! BAM!

Last off: Remember that new year's resolution?

Food for Thought

Intersting thoughts Andrew ... something that I will have to mull over to be sure. I mostly get upset at old people who are slow in the grocery store and putting their tank of oxygen on my fresh produce. It's happened to me before, so don't laugh. I will try to think about what you say though, mostly I find the old people I know are: out of touch, incoherent, and worthless to society. Maybe I need to surround myself with different old people.

Found out last night that if you live within the city of Pittsburgh you pay a 4% income tax to the city ... 4%!!!!! If you make 100,000 a year you automatically lose 4,000 of it to the stupid city. How is it possible that the city is so poor then you ask? Horrible democratic leadership. I need to find a way to make Pittsburgh, the city that I love so much and everything about, a red city again. Any ideas? My current plan is to take a hit for the team, establish residency in the city and pay the tax, so I can cast my vote for a republican candidate. It's possible that I could run for mayor after I'm there long enough. Seriously a 4% tax is entirely too much, no wonder the city is dying and no one goes there. You have to pay an arm and a leg to park there, and if you live there it's even worse. It's seriously a lose lose.

Things fast approaching you need be aware of:

1.) Andrew and I moving into our new place the weekend of February 5th.

2.) Steelers AFC Championship game on Sunday at 6:30. I may begin fasting and prayer Saturday, let me know if you wish to join.

3.) March 25th when I finally get to see the Boston Celtics play ... in Boston!!!!

4.) Lunch for me - I'm out later guys!

A Flipped Script

Alright kids of America, follow me on this one.

Tonight I took a departure from my normal evening activities (killing things in Fable) for a while and went to spend some time with someone. I am admittedly fascinated with the business world, organizational development and change, business politics, etc. So I went tonight to talk with my good friend Mike's grandad. Mike's grandad, Don, has been a huge player on the Organizational Development scene, apparently. I realized this after he tossed book after book and article after article at me taht he had either written, edited, or was 'good friends with the author'. I just sat and listened to him talk for well over an hour about his experience in the field, his advice for a wide eyed youngster, and how simple business can be if you know the right questions to ask.

Don, of course, has been overseas and worked in many international companies. He was telling me how well respected he was in China just for the mere fact that 1) he had grey hair and 2) he had special knowlege about something...something being OD. Before this, he was telling me about how hard it was for him to go back to school to study OD at the Masters level. It wasn't hard academically for him to transition in, but he said it took him years of application and nagging to get the admissions staff to let him in. Why wasn't he get enrolled as soon as he applied? 1) Because he had grey hair and 2) because he had special knowledge about something...the working world. Although he wasn't trying to make a connection about the cultural disparity between Americans' negative outlook on ageism and the Chinese embracing of the elderly as sages, I found it striking at how messed up we view old people in our society.

Think about it people. We in America admire youth. We look up to brash arrogance, temorary beauty, outlandish antics, and just good ol' getting into trouble as things that are to be desired...things associated with youth. We glorify youth, as can be seen in any commercial advertisement for anything under the sun. To be young and stupid with a belly full of ire is more desirable in this country than to be old, slow to speak, and wise. We shy away from the elderly, we dismiss their stories and tales as ramblings, and we tend to associate them with a sort of buffoonery-like old people are only shadows of the young people that they used to be. I know this is true because this is how I think of the elderly from time to time! But as I was fascinated by Don's life expriences-his simple, yet sage wisdom and his straightforward kindness-I could not help but lament the fact that most people my age will never take the time to care about what they could learn from someone who has journeyed far ahead of us in life...and lived to tell about it.
This passing wind of Youth is the vanity of vanities; I hope that by the time I'm old enough to tell stories, they will consist more of knowledge, and less of vacuous stories about how I tried, and failed, to pin down a wind.

Good news

Two exciting facts to report today. I don't even know where to begin.

1.) Continuing in my tradition of reporting good news, the city of Pittsburgh has some group, I can't remember which, handing out blankets to the homeless today. Some group has arranged a "blanket drive" and is handing them out to the homeless and less fortunate today to help them through the winter months. Granted they missed the coldest day of the year by one day, but today is an equally worthy day. That's excellent work by some non-profit group. They should be proud to know that some homeless dude will be a little warmer today. That is of course until he trades his blanket for money and buys drugs or alcohol ... wooops did I say that?

2.) I've decided that it sounds far to fake and sarcastic when I compliment others. This is most likely due to the fact that I don't compliment people ... ever. I'm going to make a concerted effort to tell people when they look nice, said something smart, or were cool enough to impress me. So I'll begin by saying, "Andrew that comment about kicking personified cold in the face or slapping it, was very funny. Great journalism Andrew."

Andrew and I are getting ready to move in to our new apartment on February 1st / 6th. If you have any useful items that you don't need (i.e. lava lamps, tvs, couches) feel free to consult us before throwing them away. That's all for now, I'm off to make some tea.

Hatred

Andrew's back, and not happy.

I'm trying, in my old age, to be less of a complainer. It's something that I feel is detrimental to not only my own attitude, but also to the attitudes of others who have to listen to me whining. No one likes a complainer...so as soon as I'm done writing this I swear I'm going to stop complaining.

I freaking HATE winter. I HATE it more than I think I hate deer. My top 3 hatred list now looks like this: Beelzebub and Winter tied for first, Semi Trucks a close second. I hate everything about winter. The snow, the wetness, the ice, the sting of cold air on your face which somehow invigorates Keith, the people who can't drive, the blue ice the freezes on your car from your windshield wiper fluid, ruined shoes and pant cuffs, etc. I hate everything about winter. I hate winter so much, that if winter could be personified into human form I would slap it in the face with a baseball bat. Even if winter were personified as a small child with Downs Syndrome, a cleft palate, and one arm I would still try to club it with a baseball bat! That's how unrelenting my hatred for winter is.

That said, I had a wonderfully awful trip to work today, as did everyone in my office all because of the ills of winter. When I die and get to heaven, I swear one of my questions for the Lord is going to be: "Honestly God, that Winter crap is pretty devastating. Was that a result of the Fall, because if it was, I want to find Adam and give him a very stern talking to". That's about all the complaining I can muster for now, but I hate winter.

It has been a while since I have posted but I hope no one holds this against me. Here are some parting words of wisdom in an admittedly rip-off-Keith stylee:

1) Speaking of underrated bands, remember the ska craze of the late 90's? The 3rd wave if you will? I think of the most underrated bands of the ska movement was Catch 22. They had an unbelievable sound, such catchy hooks and their instrumentality was so good. Waking up to Catch 22 makes me happy. Any Catch 22 fans out there? I know some of you are...

2) I'm listening to 3rd Day now... a band I have, and will continue to denounce for profiting off of what should be, an individual's private worship experience. However!! Though the vessel is flawed (in my mind anyway) 3rd Day has helped me calm down and stop complaing for the day.

3) Here's an article for you, and MLK Essay contest winner. Read, comprehend, think.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/pp/05015/442566.stm

I'm out, I've got a cup of Starbucks waiting for me mmmmmm delicious.

Keith here

So I'm back and posting for the first time in a few days. Had a bit of a busy weekend. Went out dancing with some friends on Friday evening. Saturday was the Pittsburgh Steeler game. Huge game, I felt like I had a heart attack about 7 separate times. The game was a complete and total emotional roller coaster. I'm not sure I can take another game like that one ... granted the Steelers came out on top, but the road there was refriggindiculous. The next game is this Sunday evening and I will be in attendance. The hours are crawling by.

Busy day at the office yesterday, not to mention the worst snow I've driven home in in quite some time. I couldn't see the road. I was able to see the car in front of me, but not the road I was driving on. This of course is extremely comforting when there are cars in the ditch to the left of you. The snow as just blowing up in a way that made it impossible to see the road. Oh well, that trip is done.

Things I think I think:

1.) There need to be more sweet movies that come out this time of the year. They all come out during the summer. What's the reasoning behind that? Do they think that I make more money then and can see tons of movies? Do they think that I want to be inside? Clearly if there was a decent movie out, it would make tons of bank right now.

2.) McDonald's commercials have recently become so bad that I refuse to eat there anymore. The "I'm lovin' it!" slogan just isn't doing it for me. No McDonalds, I am not black, way to tell me your food is "too cool" for me to eat there.

3.) My 20 GB iPod has only 2.4 GB left. How in the world do I have that many songs I legitimately listen too ... oh ... maybe it's the 466 U2 songs I have on there.

4.) Little Debbie Fudge Rounds ... phenomenal.

5.) Is there anything that makes you feel more alive than walking out on a cold morning and feeling the air sting your nose and seeing your breath? I just think that's what it feels like to be alive.

6.) Saw a bumper sticker today, "Friends don't let friends vote republican." The person was a handicap person. I'm not sure how I feel about this. They've probably been lied to their entire life about how the democratic party is the "party of the disabled." What a joke. I'm so sick of people supporting a party that wants to raise taxes and give everyone health care.
6a.) If everyone had health care then the routine visits to the Dr. would take about 3 months to do. "You have cancer, oh, well the doctor is full since every bum has health care now, he won't be able to see you for 3 months. Oh you want to sneak across the border to see a doctor? Go ahead and do that, but I won't be able to transfer your records." We do not all need health care, half the people who don't have it now are young kids who choose not to have it anyway. The other half of the people need to get a job and get it if it is so important to them. I'm sick of people mooching off society and wanting more from the government. IT IS NOT THE GOVERNMENT'S JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, IT IS YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Have a great night.

4 word post

Onyx Reserve Mini-Belicoso...go smoke one now because they might be one of the greatest values on the cigar market to date. Andrew, over and out.

Hey Jealousy!

This is in the vein of Keith's underratedness categories for things,

I'm sitting here in my office completely rocking my face to the Gin Blossoms. I posit that the Gin Blossoms are possibly one of the top most underrated bands of the 1990's. "Hey Jealousy" ? "Found Out About You"? "Follow You Down"? They had a butt-load of hits and they just kind of faded away! I heard a rumor that the lead singer hung himself in his closet at a hotel while they were on tour. But then I found out that that was the lead singer of INXS...and "I Need You Tonight" is no where near as good of a song as "Allison Road". So today I toast the Gin Blossoms, a great band that kind of faded out of the mainstream and into the background...I would argue the Gin Blossoms are the band that helps to write the background music of your life. Now that's a good line.

Roughly 24 hours ...

Ok, a lot of news to report today. Roughly 24 hours till the Steeler game. I'm getting chills up and down my spine. Also dealing with the Steelers Ben Roethlisberger is donating his playoff check to Tsunami relief. More good news. Maybe all my good news lately has been about athletes since I have been listening to only sports talk. Maybe I'll have to branch out for the good of the blog.

On another note ... I read in the paper yesterday that P.E.T.A., People for Ethical Treatment of Animals, is suing a chicken slaughterhouse in West Virginia because the conditions the chickens live in is poor. The chickens live in such a subpar manner, it's actually torture. THESE CHICKENS ARE ON THEIR WAY TO FRIGGIN' DIE! Does anyone else realize this? Who cares what kind of conditions they are in, they're on their way out of this world, it's a freaking slaughterhouse. I hate P.E.T.A. with such a passion, it almost rivals my hatred of the A.C.L.U. ... I may hate P.E.T.A. more. Now if they win the law suit we'll end up spending thousands upon thousands of tax payer dollars to make NICER SLAUGHTERHOUSES! Then the price of chicken will go up. Seriously, if I could find a way to take down P.E.T.A. I totally would.

So Michael Newdow is at it again. He's trying to stop President Bush from being able to have a minister pray at the opening of his convocation. He doesn't want the blessing of the Lord invoked upon him. I'm glad this guy already failed at removing, "One nation under God" from our Pledge of Allegiance and trying to stop prayer at Bush's first inauguration. What do people like this do for a living? How do they have time to try to make the moral fiber of our country even more absent than it already is? What are their motives? Doesn't this man have a 9-5 he has to go to every day? The list goes on. Frankly, I'm stunned that he has time to continue these frivolous law suits. Well, now that I've raised my blood pressure a good 29 points, I'm off to go do stuff.

New Winner

I win again,

Ok I told you all (that should be 'yinz' for you Pittsburgers) that The Strokes take the title for Best Wake Up CD. Today, however, I found out that the Strokes have been usurped by The Mars Volta. I threw in "Deloused in the Comatorium" last night just for kicks and then boom I woke up to that this morning. This morning was my best morning all week. I was up, I was alert, I was ready to take on the world, and I even threw in some air guitar riffs while I was getting out of bed. Only the Mars Volta could inspire such a great morning. SO! What have we learned today? Follow my Keith-esque outline.

1) Go get a CD alarm clock
2) Get the Mars Volta cd, "Deloused in the Comatorium".
3) Wreck your neck

You guys are easy to please.

The Civil War

Let's talk for a little bit about some important things:

1) How sweet is the American Civil War? I'm not talking about the killing and dying and blood and all of that, but I'm talking about the Ken Burns' Civil War series which spawned one of the greatest soundtracks to a documentary ever!! If you're a history buff, or if you need to get your Civil War-crazed spouse/friend an awesome gift, go out and get the set. It's probably a decade old now but nonetheless an awesome series.

2) How ridiculous is the Thornton/Boccardi report on CBS? It's so stupid on so many levels. What? You want to talk about them? Ok great!
A) Thornton (way to betray PA you buckethead)/Boccardi are contracted to audit CBS's political ties not by an outside agency, but by CBS. CBS internally recruiting to scrutinize their organization? Sounds shady to me. Looks shady to me. You know what they say, if it looks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a spade.
B) The obvious blind eye turned to 'expert testimony' is unscrupulous. Yeah, I just said unscrupulous in a sentence. To hire not one, but TWO typewriter experts, ask them for their professional opinion of whether the documents are forged and then kindly dismiss their testimony as 'lacking exploration of all possible alternatives to the origination of the documents' is absolutely absord. Clearly the documents are forged and should not have been used.
C). CBS is unbiased politically? Come one people. We Americans are not idiots. Let's set the scene. Less than two months before a pivotal American election, a news anchor (and reputed Democratic fundraiser) forces a story based on forged documents through the CBS machine (oh wait, they worked on it for 5 years that's right...), gets caught redhanded in 'journalistic malfeascance' and then wants us to believe that there were no political motives behind the story? Get freaking real and die.
D) The only thing good about CBS is Dave Letterman

3) I think Keith has lost his marbles for not liking to get his hair cut. It's so relaxing and comforting. I'm getting all sleepy just thinking about it.

4) Last night it was 62 degrees at 11:30pm and I drove home from work with my windows down. Top down, chrome spinnin'!

5) ____________________________________________________________________
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_____________(your thoughts here people, come on!!)

That takes care of that

A few things I think I think:

1.) We just switched laptops this morning. I'm not going to complain about a free laptop, but it's an older, larger, not nearly as sweet version, and frankly it's cramping my style. I feel like we were punished for doing our job well. Since we brought in too many freshman students, we needed to give our freshman computers to them. Bummer.

2.) Getting my haircut today. There are few things I enjoy less than a haircut. I hate going, paying, making small talk, the hair itch all day afterwards. It's just bad news.

3.) Jeff Mincey, our boss, has a pretty slammin' house. We have some pretty slammin' coworkers.

4.) I can't wait to move up to Grove City and smoke a pipe on the way home from work. Fabulous idea Andrew.

5.) Men rule at the game Catchphrases.

6.) Blondes DO have more fun ... wait a minute, what am I saying, I have red hair.

7.) I beat Andrew to this post today.

8.) It's 62 degrees out on January 13th. I'm riding home with my windows down and my system up ... kind of like Eminem.

Here's something noteworthy

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,144090,00.html

Hahahaha I don't know the last time I've seen the words 'Karate Kick' in an official piece of journalism.

Amazing Things

I'm really struggling the last few days to find good news to report. I'm running out of sweet things that people do. I did just find out that Tracy McGrady, T-Mac, the shooting guard for the Houston Rockets holds a softball charity game and donates all of the money to his favorite charity. I think only like 20 people attend since African Americans aren't into baseball. Oh well, a noble effort to be sure.

Speaking of McDonalds, I think it's time everyone was aware of a new policy change they made that is actually for the better. McDonalds corporate now allows the mixing of pop when you order. For example, you can now go up to the counter and say, "I'd like half lemonade and half iced tea please." They will now make it for you where as before, they wouldn't do it. This is a HUGE improvement. I'm not sure it atones for the sins of no more biggie sized foods though. I totally agree with Andrew. What is McDonalds trying to do, keep us from ourselves? Frankly I think this whole eat healthy thing is a horrible idea ... for McDonalds. YOU ARE A FAST FOOD JOINT FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU SERVE FAST FOOD THAT'S GOOD AND HORRIBLE FOR YOU. If I want food that's quasi-good for me, I'll stop at Sheetz and get an alfafa wrap or something. McDonald's needs to remember it's audience, or it WILL fail. Like when Oldsmobile made the Alero (I owned one) but it was a car that catered to younger kids. Last time I checked old people drived Oldsmobile cars. Bad move. You go ahead McDonalds, feed healthy people with your horrible parfaits and dry stupid salads. Watch Dave Thomas at Wendy's take over ... oh wait he died of a heart attack ...

I'm going to start a new section from time to time called things that are underrated. I think there are a few things in life that should get more face time dang it and I'm here to give it to them.

1.) Triscuits - go pick up a box and start eating them. They're darn good, just have water handy.

2.) Gummy Bears - addicting and satisfying, yet often forgotten ... more like yummy bears

3.) Street Fighter 2 - one of the reasons I'm really looking forward to moving up to Grove City is the revival of Street Fighter 2 games between Andrew and I. Forget the fact it's on the SNES, it's a kickin game.

Addendum

From now until I take the GRE I'm going to leave you all with a word of the day to help you get smarter while I try in vain to do the same. Today the word is:


Temporize: (v) To avoid committing oneself.

Sure!

Keith was trying to temporize on the issue of getting an apartment near his workplace. Fortunately he got his act together though.

Tying the loose strings together

In typical form, I beat Keith to post.

Ok people I need to talk about a few things. I know a ton of you have been asking me (ok I'm lying, obviously) "Andrew, we loved hearing about what kind of music you have been waking up to, but as of late you've been quiet about the issue. What have you been listening to??" Well I'll tell you, people. I think I might have found a CD that's absoultely perfect for waking up. The past few days in a row I've woken up to The Strokes' 'Is This It?". Great album, great to wake up to. The first track, "Is This It" has the catchiest bass hook ever and it makes me smile and feel like I'm ready to take on the day. Go try it!

Second off, I found one person who reads our blog. Ethan, this post is for you:

So Ethan and I are talking yesterday and he's lamenting the sad state of McDonald's lately. He recounted to me a sad tale of food denial at the Golden Arches. So Ethan goes up to the counter at McDonald's and wants to order some food. He's kind of hungry and really wants to get full, so he goes "Hey give me a Big Mac Meal, and Supersize that bad boy". So he gets his food, and he has a regular size meal. Ethan being the careful, attention to detail kind of guy that he is asks why the heck he didn't get what he ordered. He is informed, by the cashier, that McDonald's no longer Supersizes meals. The logical question is: WHY?! Ethan is then informed that in order to prevent the populous of America from becoming fat and obese, McDonald's no longer Supersizes meals.

How ridiculous is this policy?! I echo Ethan's lament, "Why can't I get more fries because some fatty can't control themselves?!" A good question, Ethan. When did McDonald's become the moral policeman/woman for America's Fatty McFattertons??! If someone wants to come into McDonald's, gorge themselves, and then become so fat that they can't see their own feet when standing in line to order another round of cheeseburgers, do it. If people want to eat, let them. I honestly think this is a play by McDonald's to rake in profits. Think about it. If someone is so depraved to the point that they cannot even control how much they eat, what is having a smaller hamburger going to do? Do you think Big Bertha is going to look at her small fry and say "Hmm I need to eat less. Thanks for helping me on the path to physical fitness, McDonald's"? No. They're going to say "Dang it my vacuous crevase of a stomach needs more food in it. I'm going to go buy some more". McDonald's fronts like they're trying to help fat people, but in all reality they're playing off their most disgusting of weaknesses. McDonald's is going to make so much more money off of fat people that can't control themselves. Couple those profits with the cash already being raked in through their new improved fitness oriented line of foods (salads, shakes, yogurt parfaits, etc) and they are rolling in dough.

I think it's probably safe to assume from my post, I am very prejudiced against fat people, honestly.

I can explain it, because I studied Meteorologie

Ok this is how freezing rain works,

Rain, when it comes from the sky, is in water form. Sometimes in the upper levels of the stratosphere, it's colder than here on earth. Not often, but sometimes it is. When it's colder higher up, and the rain comes down, it's ice! As soon as the ice gets into warmer air, it turns to water. Ice is actually water...that's frozen!! Ok so the ice warms up as it plummets towards your car, but it doesn't completely thaw. The combo of icey water is also known as freezing rain. Sometimes people refer to freezing rain as "This is the worst weather ever...why can't you drive!?!?!" Well, at least I call it that when I'm driving to work and the mommy or daddy in front of me decides that they want to drive their kid to work, then stop in the middle of the rain, then let their kid out, then hold up traffic, then tell their kid that they left their lunch on their seat, then wave at them, then hold up traffic, then can't get traction on the road and fishtail all over the place, then hold up traffic then make me swear under my breath. Clearly, freezing rain is a direct result of the Fall of Mankind.

First place

So Andrew always blogs before me every day. My lone goal of the morning is to post before him. I think I'm well on my way.

Well, I didn't do anything to fix my semi-vices I referred to yesterday. Upon my arrival home last evening I played Halo 2 for almost 2 hours. I finally beat the game. My chances are few and far between since my brother is always playing online with his friends. Pretty sweet game, I may begin to play more. Random side note, did you see that Nintendo Gamecubes went on sale the other day. You can get a Gamecube with Mario Kart Double Dash and A WIRELESS FRIGGIN CONTROLLER for $99.00. How sweet a deal is that you ask? Almost sweet enough to make me get a Gamecube ... hmmm ...

After that I watched the Celtics and they won. More sports in the life of Keith. I then spent the rest of my evening reading / watching a West Wing Marathon that was on TV. Pretty good show, except for the fact they are all Democrats in the White House. These particular episodes showcased a cute Republican from the South who came to work in the White House. Hmmm ... seems to be a good idea to move to the South and find some people who think like that, forget these North East liberal unionized people I currently reside with.

Two stunning revelations today:

1.) Pickles are cucumbers that have been pickled and stuff. Really bizarre, somehow never knew it.

2.) How the heck does freezing rain work? If it's raining, and it's cold enough to freeze on impact, how is it not snow? Can anyone explain? I'm out honkies.

A duck walks into a bar

So Andrew proposed a good topic in the form of semi-vices. That's an interesting concept. How do I know if something is a semi-vice? Is it something that takes up time I could be spending doing something good? If that's the case, I have a million of them. Let's look at my weekend to see if we can find any shall we?

Friday: I go to Pool City after eating dinner, don't ask why, and find this WICKED SWEET arcade game. It's called Arcade Legends. It's an arcade game like actual unit, and it has roughly 40 classic games on it, including Street Fighter 2. I love that game. I stay an extra hour longer to play the game. I swear I'm going to drop the $2,699.99 to by that sucker.

Saturday: I spend the day watching a college basketball game, a HORRIBLE NBA game, the first NFL playoff game, and the second NFL playoff game.

Sunday: After going to church I watch a playoff game from 1-4. Oh yeah, I watched a 2nd one from 4:30-7:30. Then I played Xbox all night with my brother until I went to bed. Seriously how sweet is Halo 2?

So one can assume a few vices of mine from this list:

1.) Sports - seriously sports probably consume roughly 80% of my life, and that's a conservative estimation, outside of work. I go to church and help out with the youth group, other than that I watch, read, and think about sports.

2.) Video games - show me a guy who doesn't play of lot of video games and I'll show you a gay man ... or a man who doesn't have semi-vices like myself. Name the game and the system and I'll play it.

3.) U2 - I spend a lot of time wishing U2 would release new CDs and tour dates. Currently these are happening so it's a semi-vice again ... www.u2.com oooooooh second plug.

Well that's all I really have for now. The Steeler game is this Saturday and I'm going to hit publish post and then think about how nervous I will be all week. I really hope they can make this run. Otherwise I will enter a month-long depression and probably quit posting.

What eats my life away

Just so you all know, there are a number of semi-vices in my life. They're not real vices because they don't make me throw up, and they don't make me spend a lot of money. And when caught in these semi-vices, I don't feel guilty. That's how I know they're not real. They are, in order of importance to my daily functioning:

1) 311's newest live DVD. And speaking of, neither Keith nor I have actually plugged a website from our blog, so here it goes. Plug #1 stems from my semi-vice: www.311.com
2) Fable on XBox. My little brother sold out and got it, and now I HAVE to play it or else I wouldn't be a good big brother. If there are 72 hours in a weekend, Fable consumed half of those with its addictive, choose-your-own-story type feel.
3) Blogging...honestly take a look at how many posts I've put up. More than Keith, and he's a pretty talkative, opinionated guy. It's obvious I have the makings of a problem, but not a real problem yet.
4) Cocaine.


Anyone else have any semi-vices? Come on, let's hear em!

No they were just making a point...pff

I saw the Dems doing Der thing,

I thought it was hysterical how Ms. Boxer brought the stall on the certification of the election to make a point. The democrats, since they lost the election hand over fist, are now crying about it again. They put a stall on the certification on the election, not because of mass upheaval in the state of Ohio. They stall the certification not because 200,000 people came out and said "I was personally discriminated at the polls and I think this election could have gone the other way if I wasn't directly turned away from the polls". With a lack of hard evidence and supported by shaky anecdotal testimony, somehow these Senators take the floor for two hours, debate over whether the president should be certified as the actual winner of the race, and then nothing comes of their hissy fit. Should some things be changed about the voting process? Yes, every voting machine in America should probably be standardized so that everyone uses the same macine in the same way. This gets rid of the claim, largely from the losing party, that those dang election books are hard to read! Gol'darnit, reading is tough!

Also, voting stations should be free of references to either party. If you paid attention at all to the post election wrap up, you'd know that voting stations down in the 'Burgh had posters on how to vote properly. In the illustrated section marked "How to Punch a Hole Next to the Presidential Candidate You Want to Win" (or something like that) was a big fat example ballot with John Kerry/John Edwards highlighted with a hole next to it. I felt disenfranchised, like I didn't know who to vote for! Cripes, if there's a sign with John Kerry's name on it that may sway me to vote for him!!! Right?! WRONG!! I just led you into an diatribe argument where actually I disagree with the premise of my own argument to prove how ridiculous the claim of voter disenfranchisement is. If you are of such weak constitution that you can't stand your ground, or if you buy into some lame-o excuse for why you need to not vote on election day ("No sir, I see you're a registered Democrat. George Bush just ammended the Constitution so that Dems vote tomorrow, and Republicans vote today. Come back tomorrow and you can nail the rascally old man!"), or just feel disriminated against and leave the polls, you are an idiot and your vote SHOULDN'T count to begin with. It's your right to vote, and if you leave the polls and don't vote, that's also your right. Instead of voting for a hierarchy of rules and red tape, why not vote for improved voter accountability and personal responsibility.


Call me a Libertarian, if you must.

If by

If by intellectual stimulation you mean a big fat turd for a post.

So it finally stopped raining. God has remembered his promise never to flood the world again and blessed us with a dry day. A bright and cheery gray western Pennsylvania day. The sky is gray, the trees are dead, the temperature set at a good 30 degrees, and dirty sides of the road. It's about time the rain stopped because the city of Pittsburgh was beginning to flood again. Yinzers suprisingly don't know how to deal with flooding. I'm not sure anyone does really, but I figured if anyone could stop the torrent onslaught of water, it would be the local folk of da' burgh.

Trying to stay current with my posting of good news for a change, I have found some. It's actually an extension of the last good news. Several NBA players are giving $1,000 for each point they score in a game. Jermaine O'Neal, an Indiana Pacer, scored 32 points last night in his game thus leading us to believe that he would contribute $32,000 to tsunami relief funds. He did much more than that. In fact he gave $55,000 since in his last game he threw down 55 points. What a noble act and good deed in a sports league that is lacking much.

Did you see the silly democrats try to whine about the fact that they lost the union driven state of Ohio that should be a lock for them? Tells you about the quality candidate they put forward, they couldn't even win a state that should be a lock. They failed miserably and delayed W's arrival as President a good 2 hours. Way to go you stupid Marxists.

So turns out I'm not sick. I'm allergic to dust. The doctor told me it wasn't good that I hadn't washed my sheets in a month and told me to spray some stuff up my nose. Maybe I should wash my sheets more hmmm ...

Lastly, Andrew and I are moving in together most likely. It should happen in February, should be good times. We have another roommate too who graduated with us recently, all that's left is some paperwork and good times. I'm sure he'll give you more details, or if anyone actually reads this and has questions, feel free to ask. Ok, I'll talk to you later Andrew.

Here's your "Intellectual Stimulation"

You're a stupid-face

Faulty arguments?!?

Want to talk faulty arguments? How about trying this on for size? Andrew compares me to John Kerry in the title of his blog. He then makes his point and then in no way justifies premise A, that I have something in common with John Kerry.

Secondly, there is a huge difference between loving Kelly Clarkson's CD, and loving Kelly Clarkson. I'm not gonna lie, if Kelly Clarkson wanted to date me, I'd probably let her. This is completely different from loving her in a, "Ooooh my gosh look there's Kelly Clarkson (insert girl scream here)" kind of way.

As for the allegations about knowing the music of Pink and Avril Lavigne. What can I say, I subscribe to XM Satellite radio, I hear a lot of music. I didn't say I liked it.

I could continue this endless debate of dribble with Andrew, but I don't want our blog to turn into a petty argument. Our blog is a place, hopefully, of intellectual stimulation, humor, and commentary on society. Well, I'm off to the doctors, I'll catch y'inz later.

What Jon Kerry and Keith have in common...

Flip Flopping. Though Keith decides that he has vigorously defended the state of his manhood, I still hold my charge that it is no longer manhood he embraces, but tenny bopper girldom. Keith plays to the sympathies of the audience, comparing his love for Kelly Clarkson to a man who goes to the opera because he sympathizes with his wife. He sets himself up to be the noble gentleman, which of course is still manly. But Keith's use of an not-so-obligatory (hypothetical? really?) trip to the opera as a comparison to his passion for the Kelly Clarkson CD is not, in fact, a good analogy. In fact, Keith says:

" After deciding that I actually like the new Kelly Clarkson song on the radio, I decided to listen to her new CD. My confession is that I love this CD. I love it so much in fact that I'm listening to it currently. It's a cross between Kelly Clarkson, Pink, and Avril Lavigne ..."

Keith not only likes the CD, he LOVES it, indicating that he has cast his manhood off and fully embraced the girl inside of him. Note also his references to Pink, and Avril, two other groups that no red blooded man should listen to. This inference to other horrible artists implies an affinity for their music, thus an affinity for not-manness. Manhood debunked!

False Accusations

It's not often that I post more than once a day. This is especially true on days when I feel sick enough to call the doctor. I feel that Andrew has wrongly attacked my manhood. Just because I enjoy one Kelly Clarkson CD, does not mean that I know longer own my manhood. I will admit that it's a hit, no a HUGE BLOW, to my manhood, but I believe that by confronting this realization head on I gain some points and can defeat this. It's not like I'm secretly listening (or as Andrew calls it "lying") to the CD. I came out and said I realize this, but it's only an aberration I'm still a man dang it!

It's like a man who goes to the opera or ballet with his wife, and somehow enjoys it. If he doesn't say anything, but keeps trying to get her to go, or goes secretly on his own, then he's no longer a man. But if he says, "You know what honey, it wasn't my favorite, but I did slightly enjoy it. Next time you want to go, count me in. It's something different and a good change of pace." I believe this guy is still a man. I'm not going out to start the Kelly Clarkson fan club or anything. I don't even own the CD, I borrowed it from Courtney. But it is a nice change of pace from all the horrible people on the radio who right horrible music (i.e. Ashlee Simpson and Ryan Cabrera). It's a change up of sorts from all the rap that I typically listen to. I still firmly believe U2 is my favorite musical group and there are others after them before you arrive at Kelly Clarkson.

Manhood defended.

One question, why does no one comment about our blog? This kind of sucks. I feel like I'm writing for Andrew, when in reality I could just go across the office and talk to him.

Compromising Situations

See Keith, this is why you don't listen to Kelly Clarkson. You put yourself in the position to listen to the music, and then you find out you like it. Now you either have to lie about it (oh by the way, lies make baby Jesus cry, remember) or tell people, right to their face, without flinching that you like Kelly Clarkson. Have fun sacrificing your dignity and manhood, the twins of success, on the altar of American Idol HA!! TOUCHE!


Rain is still better than snow because floods are less devastating than a few white flakes...wait...

Confessions

These are my confessions ...

Sounds like the beginning of a bad R & B song. Maybe it is and maybe it is ... Anyway, I feel as though I need to make a confession that I alluded to yesterday or some day, who knows the days between blogging run together so easily. After deciding that I actually like the new Kelly Clarkson song on the radio, I decided to listen to her new CD. My confession is that I love this CD. I love it so much in fact that I'm listening to it currently. It's a cross between Kelly Clarkson, Pink, and Avril Lavigne ... quite a threesome ... hmmmmm wait a second

Need to solve a debate so why not use the blog. Andrew and I were discussing the Oriental Salad at Applebees. I love the thing, can't wait to eat it again, but Andrew doesn't think quite so highly of it. If you've eaten at Applebees and you can't get enough of the oriental vinaigrette dressing let me know. If you disagree, just don't even comment, I don't want to hear your opinion.

So today is the 3rd day in a row it's been raining, and by raining I mean pouring. By pouring I mean that I could probably just take the tires off my car and float home. It only reaffirms our earlier notion that snow is better. It's 40 degrees out and everytime I walk somewhere I get wet, cold, and miserable.

I just realized that I have nothing humorous or insightful to say today really. This is probably a product of my being sick. So when I'm feeling well hopefully my wit and insight will return. Let's recap my lame blog today:

1.) Kelly Clarkson's new CD is sweet.
2.) Threesome ... haha I'm so juvenile
3.) Applebee's Oriental Chicken salad is slammin
4.) Rain sucks
Bonus Coverage:
5.) The Boston Celtics lost last night - sweeeeeet
6.) Pitt Panthers lost - boooooo
7.) West Wing was actually good
8.) Jennifer Garner is slammin
9.) I'm sick

Later crackers.

Kelly Clarkson

I know all of you have been waiting for this: I know you all have been dying to know what I listened to when I woke up this morning. Before I talk about this, let me digress a moment and address something. I write these blogs in a fashion that makes them readable for large audiences. I think I'm under the assumption that people will flock to this blog and wait with baited breath for the next post to come out. And I mean, who wouldn't?! This is high quality shabazz that we're slinging out every day! But I do realize that when I click the 'Publish Post' button, the only people who read this are probably going to be Keith (because I feel the need to yell across the office every time I post) and maybe Kristina Lee because she can't get enough of me...muuuwahaha. Regardless, I guess it's just good to feel important. So with that said YOU ALL won't GUESS who I listened to this morning!!!

As you can probably guess by the title, you'd think I was awakened by Miss Clarkson. BUT I WASN'T! I actually just threw in some Johnny Cash last night and woke up in a Ring of Fire. Ring of Fire is a great song, and Johnny Cash is a great dude. While it made waking up really easy, I started having delusions about being in Green Sing '03 again. These delusions made me pass out. So Johnny Cash made waking up cool and hip, but he also made falling back asleep cool and hip; that's Johnny Cash, though, he makes being bad and neglecting your responsibilities seem so awesome. Circle gets the square and tomorrow I'm going to try something different. You'll never guess who gets to be my alarm tomorrow...

Being that Guy

That Guy...yeah that's about to be me in 3 seconds. The USC/OU game was actually the championship with the 3rd largest margin of victory. And Ashlee Simpson actually has some great songs out there on the radio...oh wait that's a lie. And speaking of newsworthy, apparently the travelers of Route 8 North between the hours of 7-8AM find rain newsworthy. I conjecture this because most people I was on the road with today were paying attention to the rain, and not the road. It must be an rule somewhere in the Annals of Western PA Horrible-ology that when rain pours from the sky, it is imperative that you stop driving well and drive at least 15 miles an hour under the speed limit. You'd think people were hoping to see the Virgin Mary appear out of the rain the way they slow down and drive in the rain here. You'd think that they had never seen this liquid that falls from heaven to refresh the Earth! You'd also think that the guy who has been in like 6 auto skirmishes should not be talking about who's a bad driver but THAT'S where you're wrong because, in the immortal words of Napoleon Dynamite, "I'll say whatever I feel like! Gosh!".

Sweetness defined

Sweetness can be defined as USC trouncing Oklahoma last night to win the national title game. Huge USC fan here so it was sweet to see. Kind of a downer of a game though, not competitive at all. The only real reason to watch was the "wow" factor. You know, it's like when you're watching something that's going to be a trivia question some day (i.e. most number of passing tds in a championship game by a quarterback ... largest margin of victory.) This got old fairly quickly but not before I witnessed the trainwreck that was the halftime show.

Technical difficulties, traditional country music, and a chorus of boos raining down upon a horrible musical talent. Ashlee Simpson, whom American skewered for fake singing on Saturday Night Live, sang a subpar song in a very subpar way. If you're going to have to sing live, don't choose the mediocre single off your new album, choose something decent, cause Lord knows Ashlee, you suck something fierce. You can only ride your sister's wave so far, and honey your wave just hit the beach. Of course it won't end here, because if we've learned anything it's that Americans like to rubber neck a train wreck.

Think about it, how many times have you been driving down the highway and all of a sudden things slow to a grinding halt? Then you slug along only to find that you speed up immediately as you pass a car that is broken down on the side of the road. People like to see disasters, big stories, and tragedy. It's the whole reason the media exists. It's kind of disturbing actually. You turn on the 11 o'clock news and you hear about a murder, fire, death, snow, the athlete paying child support to 7 women, and a donkey who participated in a local spelling bee. What happened to good news? Does it not exist anymore? I'm tired of the negative press, it only creates a horrible image and more horribleness ensues.

For example, there is a list of NBA athletes who are donating $1,000 for every point they score in their game later this week. I barely heard about this. There are some top notch players as well as low profile, but I bet if it were better publicized more athletes would join in. I'm beginning a trend. I'm going to begin posting good stories on occasion of noteworthy acts of kindess. I'm going to put a more positive look at things instead of being a cynic ... except for when I'm discussing socialist liberals. That's all for now. I'm off to listen to Kelly Clarkson ... wait did I just post that?

The psychology major prevails!

First off, all of you out there in blogland should see Courtney and Keith playfight...they remind me of an old married couple. Second off, I'm a psychologist in training through and through. I've decided to make myself the subject of a very important study.

I recently obtained a CD/Alarm clock for Christmas. I'm so pumped. I think one of the biggest sources of stess in my life was the sound of my alarm clock: BANH BANH BANH BANH and on and on. I honestly feel the left side of my face seizing up when I hear that noise anywhere in public. Anyway, I hate my alarm clock so I finally got myself a CD/alarm clock. My thoughts were that listening to soothing music in the morning would make waking up much easier, and even fun! Yippee hooray!

I've got my alarm clock now and I'm trying to find the best music to wake up to. Part of me thinks it's smooth, classical music like Eddie Murphy wakes up to in Coming to America. The other part of me thinks that if I listen to, say, deth metal when I wake up I will be pumped up for the day! Rock!

SO! This week I'm started to see how I react to music when I wake up. Yesterday it was classical piano music, and I'm not going to lie, I felt fairly happy to be awake. That's good. It was so sweet in fact, that I almost fell back asleep. Not good. So the classical piano just kind of got me off to a slower, albeit less stressful start. This morning I was awakend by Poison the Well...one of the great hardcore bands to come out of my late great high school Coral Gables High Shcool. Though waking up to hardcore music and screaming was a little more intense than piano, I definitely was pumped up to get out of bed! Yeah!! I did hurt my head though because I wrecked my neck mercilessly on the way to get dressed. Tomorrow I think I'm going to Ashley Simpson sing that stupid new song of hers...pfff

A New Day

Keith says ... this will be the last time that we have to designate who says what. I just created an account on here, so now when I post, Keith, it will say uscu2 says. So take note, that now Andrew is donkeypatrol.

As for Andrew's point about Starbucks, I kind of agree. The only way I differ is that I believe that merely the act of ordering a venti carmel decaf machioto with two pumps of soy makes one a coffee snob. Have you ever seen someone order one of those? Frankly it's absurd to watch. I haven't really come up with a solution to how one can drink Starbucks and not be a coffee snob. I guess the only real way is if they join normal society and let people come in and say give me a large carmel coffee that's whipped or something like that. It sounds like someone who says that would be wearing flannel and flannel is normal.

I also got a pretty slamming letter for W last night. For those who don't follow, W is George W. Bush. He thanks me for my help in the last election and with the help of people like me he was able to win. Well, in case you're reading W, "You're welcome. Now go take the support of the largest vote ever received and fix this flaming hole the liberals have put us in. First you can start with making abortion illegal so people will have to take responsibility for their actions instead of killing it. Then you can let us all sing Christmas carols again. Finally, lower my freaking taxes and don't make me send money to social security, which is clearly not going to be around when I become old and feeble."

That's about it for now, I'm off to do stuff.

Sleeping with the Devil

Andrew here,

First of all let me agree with Keith that being back at work is actually refreshing. I think I'm turning into a sicko who enjoys going to work. But I work with cool staff and they make the day fly by. Digressions aside, let me tell you all something. I agree with Keith that Starbucks is the devil. HOWEVER, I also love Starbucks coffee. Call me a sellout, but I'm a sucker for a Mocha Carmel Macchiato regardless of how gay I sound ordering one. I think it's important though to distance oneself from the identity that Starbucks can create. For example, if I'm walking down the street with a Mocha Carmel Macchiato and I pass Keith and he's like "Oh hey Andrew what are you drinking?" I'd be like "Eh, some coffee drink". My nonchalance reveals that I'm not a complete sellout. Now if I was walking down the street and Keith is like "Oh hey etc etc" and I was like, "It's a Venti Mocha Carmel Macchiato and it's to DIE for...it's from Starbucks of course" then I would not only be a sellout but I would hope I would have a black eye from someone just laying out me for my stupidness. Even if you make a point to say that your coffee is from Starbucks without being prompted to do so, you're an idiot. But the same can be said of any coffee place...Caribou Coffee, Joffrey's, Gloria Jean's, etc. I think it's a wider identity problem that people have with coffee places in general. So yes Starbucks is the devil and Starbucks can breed snobs, but you just have to be grounded and level headed enough to be aware of the dangers of snobbery. This reminds me of the time that women told me she liked her coffee like she likes her men...

One more Note

Keith here again briefly ...

I read the comment by Colin regarding Christmas, that's my point. We take Christ out, I think we need more in. Most people don't even acknowledge him as part of the holiday while standing in line at the WalMart with screaming kids and 5 dollar robots. The way to make him more a part of the holiday is not to call it sparkle season and take christmas songs out of school. That's why I'm pissed. Tree hugging liberals like the ACLU keep bringing law suits to the forefront saying the Jewish kids are discriminated, the Muslims aren't celebrating Christmas. Last time I checked they had their holidays as well. We put them on our calendars we let them celebrate them just as much. If little Saul or little Ahmad wants to not sing Oh Holy Night then don't join in the Christmas pageant. Seems like a good idea to me. I don't go to participate in the dradel spinning contest. As for the gross stereotyping of all liberals being anti-Christ. Well, I have nothing to say other than the fact that I tend to be elitist and a stereotyper to the max. As this is my blog, I guess I will continue to do such. Thanks for the point though Colin, I do realize my weakness.

Happy New Year ....

Oh wait ... I'm two days late. My most sincere apologies. Keith here, in case you couldn't tell by the fact that Andrew already posted. I spent the last week at the New Jersey shore and I told myself that I wouldn't sign online at all for a week. I failed, but only for a brief bit, to place some football picks.
Now that I'm back I'll give you my quick hand thoughts. Taking a page off one of my favorite NFL columnists I call them 10 things I think I think:

1.) New Years is one of the most underrated holidays. It marks a monumental change of time and it's not hugely commercialized yet. Plus, I always find myself wishing I was doing something cooler. This year I watched Regis Philbin on channel 4 ... not so cool.

2.) A lot of people are using help people who have been killed by the tsunami, thankfully not on the Jersey shore, but I don't know how we do this. Do people simply send aid and prayers becasue I urge them too in my blog?

3.) Starbucks will be the downfall of society. It's creating snotty snotty people.

4.) I'm studying for the LSAT, the entry test for Law school, and call me a sick man, but I find it enjoyable. Tons of sweet logic games.

5.) When it costs you $17.00 to drive across the state of Pennsylvania, something is wrong.

6.) Andrew I agree, I can't comprehend your sister getting some ... I mean married. My sister just talked to me about it and I was mortified.

7.) The Steelers ended the season 15-1. Clearly the best season in my lifetime and even my Father's. It's been a heck of a year but now come the playoffs. It's meaningless if you don't produce at showtime. If they don't win, I will probably enter a 2 month depression.

8.) Atlantic City is pretty sweet. It's clearly the white trash version of Vegas though.

9.) If you're ahead in Atlantic City, and you spend too long gambling waiting for others to leave, you will give it all back. Craps is a completely underrated game as well. It's totally sweet.

10.) I am so ready to go back to work. Never thought I'd say it, but I enjoy the grind of the job and the people.

11.) I lied here's an 11th maybe a 12th. New Jersey is filled with flaming democratic people who slap anti-Bush stickers on their cars. They sure look dumb now don't they?

12.) What was the sweetest gift you got for Christmas? Mine was probably my sweet U2 book. Ok, maybe not, it might have been my skis, but while we're on it, how sweet is U2?

Happy New Year!

It's 3:04AM on the East Coast, everyone is either in bed or traveling from party to party, but I'm up to tell you all in blogland something. First of all, my sister got married today, which is entirely too much to comprehend in one day. I will obviously need a few days to process this fact which isn't to take away from the celebration of her marriage...follow me here people. Secondly. All the cool kids are doing it, and so will I. I'm making a new year's resolution. I have thought about it for a while, put some good hard thinking towards this one to make sure it's meaningful and I think that it is. I'm not going to lose weight (Lord knows I could gain some weight...look at me for goodness sake!!), I'm not going to go to the gym more, I'm not going to blah blah blah everyone else says. I'm going to go off the beaten path on this one. And to further go off the beaten path I'm not going to tell anyone about it until I am good and sure that I've made good on my resolution. Someone will be impacted by it, someone won't. Some people will get it, some people won't. But until the fullness of time comes, you're not going to know about it.

By the way if you haven't already, go watch Napoleon Dynamite...it's probably the sweetest movie ever! This is Andrew saying goodnight and happy new year.