1st Level

Man I need to post an alarm clock that tells me when to blog or something. It seems like just yesterday that I blogged when in reality it was like 2 weeks ago. Hmmm ... has to be an easy way to remedy that.

So back to the subject at hand. My parents have long talked about moving somewhere where it's not always winter and never Christmas (name that reference you smart kiddies) so they started looking at more "fortunate" climates. After several trips and journeys to the south, they decided that Savannah, GA was where they would make new root. So after a life in Western Pennsylvania, and some hard years no less along the trash filled Monongohela river, they moved to sunny climates, multiple golf courses, and easy access to water that's not polluted.

My parents being the strong supporters of capitalism that they are, have accumulated a fair amount of goods and junk during their years on God's green earth though and needed some help and extra muscle, mostly the former, in moving their worldly possessions down to Savannah. Solution: Keith generously offers to take his summer vacation to move Mom and Dad down there and help unpack their stuff on the other end. In return a get two rounds of golf and food for the week. Sounds like a plan to me?

So we leave Pittsburgh. Yep, you guessed correctly, the sky was gray, but oddly enough you couldn't see a single cloud in the sky. That's the way it always is. It's like a curse from God for something we did years ago I'm sure. But I get to drive my Dad's Jaguar down with XM radio. It's pretty slamming. I'm cruising listening to anything from the Goo Goo Dolls, Pussy Cat Dolls, to Classical Music ... ok no pussy cat dolls since I hate them. They're awful. I can't even come up with something witty to say I hate them so much.

Anyway, we stop for dinner in West Virginia. No, we didn't eat road kill, we stopped at a gas station where I got a piece of Pizza that had been there since roughly the Jurrassic period. It was rather unfortunate since we saw an oasis of Burger Kings roughly 5 minutes later. But I did decide to eat a piece of food that has descended from God's hand to us here on earth. I wholeheartedly believe God gave us this food in order to make us a more happy people ...

None other than ...

The Fruit Pie.

Those things are so slamming. Sure there is approximately 75,000 calories in one and I think maybe 164,000 grams of fat, but who cares. Once you bite through the hard and frosted coated crust and get to the fake fruit filling, all is well with the world. The Apple Fruit Pie might make me smile more than like 99% of all other things in life. Other contenders being like the Steelers winning the Super Bowl.

Now if we could have had the Steelers serve me a fruit pie after winning ... hmmmmm ...

The trip went downhill after this moment though. Well, that's not entirely true. We did get out of West Virginia without contracting anything as serious as say, I don't know: The Bird Flu, SARS, 1 tooth, or a sister for a wife. So I'd say that was a positive. But as we continued further south to the Mason Dixon line, things only continued to get worse. Next time allow me to marvel you with stories of:

1.) Our Hotel!!!!!!!! Dirty, hot, and concious of saving the environment! Damn Liberals!

2.) My 20 minute trip to Dairy Queen!!!!!!!!!!!! Still no chocolate ice cream!

3.) Our trip to IHOP!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing like slow service when you're waiting for breakfast food!

The North reigns supreme!!!!!!!! Just like Jefferson Starship! We Built This City on Rock and Roll Guys!!!!