Woah ... Keith is alive. Yes, not only am I alive, but I'm back from some absolutely horrifying and sobering adventures. Which, yep you guessed it, I will explore in detail right here before your very eyes.
First off, Andrew is right, life without the internet is tough. I'm surprisingly ok without cable. I mean yeah, sure we missed Avril Lavigne either A) growing up or B) getting lots of surgery but who cares. I also had no clue that there was some Nic Cannon show on MTV (which as a side note I haven't watched since March of 2005) which is called Wild On or something. I thought that was a show on E! last time I checked. So on the one hand while this makes me feel old and like I'm one step away from saying, "I can't stand the music you guys listen too. It's so horrible!" It's better since I'm not being forced to watch horrible shows. When you bring back good sitcoms, then you'll bring me back to paying for cable. Capitalism at its finest folks.
But life without internet is a drag. You're hanging out at the apartment and you want to know what time a movie starts ... hmmmm ... you have a few options:
1.) Check your newspaper (woops don't get one)
2.) Call 411 (That costs a whole $1.50 so who's doing that)
3.) Rely on a friend to look for you (kind of lame but doable)
4.) Drive 5 minutes down the road to your office and mooch their internet (also good for blogging).
So I think once Drew leaves me here next week, so sad, I think I'm going to try to get internet again off someone for cheap. That way you can keep up to pace with my life playing video games and reading as I blog about it! I know I know contain yourselves please.
But I started to talk about adventures before I got off on that tangent now didn't I. Oh I had one large adventure over the last two weeks. It was an adventure that involved scorching heat, wailing and gnashing of teeth, people moving about slowly, and never ending torment. Noooooooo I haven't been to hell and back, but you're close. Wait for it ...
I VISITED THE SOUTH!
Yep, you heard it right. I went south of the Mason Dixon line, and it was horrific. My parents have moved to Savannah, GA and I went down to help them move. Now it's not all terrible though. I did stumble upon a lovely fast food chain called Sonic. And sweet mother alive do they make some slamming burgers and shakes. But it also takes you twice as long to do anything in the south (probably because if you move at regular speed you melt, like actually melt into a puddle). But I'm going to chronicle some of my happenings next blog. Which will be soon I assure you. Sometime next week, or perhaps this weekend. So until then, don't go further south than the PA state line. It's not worth risking it. Cause if you do, you might end up looking like this ... Yep you might turn into Bubba Sparxxx!!!!! Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere! Oh no!
No seriously ... it's not. That wasn't even a joke.
Later y'inz guys!
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4 comments:
Yo, Every week I go south of the ACTUAL Mason-Dixon line to train at the Gemcraft corporate office. But out here, the South is just about indistinguishable from the North. It goes, small Amish farm, small Amish farm, small regular farm, hills, trees, small farm, crabcakes.
Can't wait to hear about your CRAZY HIJYNX IN THE SOUTH!!!
**Author's note: any derrogatory comments about the South are not shared by Andrew**
I'm moving!!!!!!!!
Do they even have all the necessities down south? I heard that they still use outhouses...and that everyone shops at Walmart instead of everywhere else.
**Note//: Any derrogatory comments about the South are being dually noted by Keith's girlfriend, born and raised south of the Mason Dixon line.
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