The old Blog

This is our old Blog.

Keith and I dont blog anymore because we don't work together. In fact, we have not worked together for almost 4 years. It's really interesting to think of the things that have transpired in the world, and in our lives over the last 4 years. We elected a Black president. We elected the first woman speaker of the house. We navigated through (those of us who were responsible with our finances) the worst Recession in 80 years.

We - as Americans - have also lost our first love...reading this blog. So stay tuned, folks...Keith and I might be blogging again with a new format. Granted we both have professional jobs now, and discretion has become the better part of valor (or ardor from blog to blog) in our professional lives. But there is a good chance you MAY see blogs here soon. I will toss it over to Keith for comment...

New for 2008

A Post!

Also, this survey. I've been messing around with Survey Monkey, and I'm trying to collect some data from a hack job survey I put together. Read it and love it people.

Andrew

This is my basic job search survey. Please take it!

Where IS Waffles, indeed!

Ok gang,

This site is also going to have to double as the official "Where's Waffles Headquarters". Since I don't have time to simultaneously run 3 failing blogs, settling for two failing blogs (but one that has dual purposes) is alright with me. Just so long as it's ok with Keith. Has anyone seen Waffles? Post your Waffles stories, pictures, comments, or (most desirably) sitings of Waffles here! Good luck and Godspeed!

-Andrew

Dealing with Ambiguity

Yesterday I started an internship in the Human Resources department of a medium sized company. So far I am, not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do with my time. I've been doing a lot of reading about workplace safety and lean manufacturing. Does anybody else have any ideas of what to do with the ambiguity?

I* fought the law, and the law won!

*someone else

This post is long overdue.

There's nothing like the thrill of the chase. Think about it: chasing your first love, watching the car chase in the Bourne Identity, chasing victory and achievement...they're all a thrill! I was able to live out one of my favorite chase opportunities just around 20 minutes ago as I was driving out of lovely Boone, North Carolina. What am I talking about? PO-LICE CHASE!!!

Ok to be perfectly honest this wasn't the screech-vroom-brake-crush police chase that you watch on cops. Oh no, my friends, this was better-and let Papa Andrew tell you why.

I was heading out of town to check on Carly's sister Cassie's cat. Link is a cat like no other. He fetches, he whistles like a bird, and I swear by all thing bright and beautiful that the cat can understand what I'm saying to him. He talks back to me! But why I talk to cats is not that this story is about, so focus with me. I'm heading out of town and had just stopped to get some gas. As I was pulling out of the gas station into the right lane, some douchebag comes whizzing by me in the left lane as if to say "WHY DON'T YOU PULL OUT SLOWER NEXT TIME!??!"** I muttered something under my breath about whippersnappers and their white neosatvaliers, and proceeded to speed up to show him what I was made of!

My little testoserone boost ended abruptly about 100 yards down the road when I came upon a stoplight in the process of turning from yellow to red. As a polite citizen, I slowed down and stopped. My friend in the satneovalier, who was a little ways ahead of me, almost stopped. I saw him tap his breaks, and instantly I could read his hesitant tail lights like morse code. He was thinking, "Oh man, there's no way I'm going to be able to get through this light, but stopping now would mean decelerating from 60 miles per hour to a dead stop within about 15 yards!" He wasn't going to stop for this one, but rather he let off his brake pad and pumped the gas as his car sped under the already red light. I just sat there at the light and thought "Man, if a cop were here, this guy would be toast."

Almost on cue, my head pans to the right to see who was stopped next to me. Bingo, it's a cop.

Here I was, a law abiding citizen, sitting patiently for him to turn out onto the road. Here he was, a ball busting cop, with his left turn signal on like he was going to head back into town to break up a reported "wrong-way-down-a-one-way-street" phone in. The light turned green for him, but he didn't move. I think it was at this point that the cop and I had a brief moment of unspoken communication:

Cop: Dang, I saw that...
Me: Heck yes you saw that! Giddie-yap!!
Cop: I don't know...my left turn signal is on...err"
Me: Hey cop! Every time I step out of line, I GET SMACKED! My car gets towed when I'm only illegally parked for half an hour. I get busted for speeding on new year's day. I get pulled over for dropping off my girlfriend AT HER OWN APARTMENT. Someone else NEEDS to get in trouble in this town, and plus I'll be right behind you as you track this guy down!
Cop: I love the chase too! Come on Andrew!

And just like that I see the cop take his signal off and go tearing down the road after this guy. At this point I'm so excited I just want to run the red light to see what happens. The light turns green and I explode off the line like I'm Prefontaine in the form of a car. I am going to be the first one in line to watch some cop bust a guy, and he doesn't even know it's coming! Yes!! I've often wondered what cops do before they pull someone over, and tailing this cop while he tailed this dude was pure bliss. It was like watching the discovery channel, when you see a lion stalking in the scrubgrass waiting to pounce on a carne asada steak burrito! The guy in the satneovalier kept flying down the road and had no idea a cop was behind him.

I hugged every corner of that mountain road just to stay within sight of this beat walker getting ready to make a bust. I craned my neck around every turn in anticipation of seeing the reds and blues hang over that pursing police vehicle. As I got closer and closer to Cassie's house my hopes of seeing a cop bust a fool got slimmer and slimmer. "I can't have come this far not to see this!!!!!" I thought. But then, right before my turn.

Bingo! Blueberries and cherries baby, it was all over.

So this dude gets pulled over for running a red light and probably speeding too. And I got to see it first hand! I think I derived a sense of relief to know that it was not me sitting in that car, all ashen and riddled with self loathing for running that light. I also derived a sense of shared pain with the poor sap in the car. Lord knows I've gotten hammered for smaller stuff than that, and every time I've done something that I can get pulled over for I think, "I wonder if that's a cop behind me?" But the sense of sympathy soon faded at the realization of what had just transpired: I got to see a little chase, and who doesn't love a good chase every now and then?



**I can neither confirm nor deny that I've done this very same thing. Hmm

France is always trying to rain on my parade

Andrew here.

It's been now a month and a half since someone posted here. I've tried to goad Keith into writing, but he seems to be in a state of quiet futility with our good, ol' blog. It's hard to get motivated to write a bunch of stuff when you're super busy all the time, or when you don't have the internet, or when your post-shower warmness doesn't stick around long enough to keep you warm all day. It's also hard to drop blogs about stuff that isn't on the whole, very interesting. So today, just as one who tries to start a camp fire using news paper has to quickly stuff sheet after sheet of paper in the fire in order to get a steady burn, I'm going to hit you all with some 'mini-blogs' that I've thought about writing before, but would have taken too much time and energy (and been relatively boring). That was a long sentence. But unlike Billy Joel , I WILL start THIS fire!!!

Firestarter One: France!! I was in the bar yesterday ordering some awesome chicago style pizza, and I heard some dude ripping on France. I guess he had just come back from being abroad, and was relaying his adventures to his friends. The only snippet I caught from his conversation from across the bar was, "I F*&$ing HATE FRENCHIES!!!" I silently nodded his way in approval. Today, I learn the Scientists in France have released a report about global warming. They have now proven the earth's core temperature is rising, and within a hundred years the earth will experience the most devastating meteorilogical cataclysm since the ice age: winter is going to be shorter. I was like "ARE YOU KDDING ME?! THIS IS AN ANSWER TO PRAYER, NOT A CAUSE FOR ALARM!!!!" As you all know I hate winter, so to hear the report from these scientists that in 100 years the earth might be 11 degrees Ferenheight warmer was music to my ears. Apparently not everyone is as pumped up about global warming though.

So in the report the French scientists make a note about how we can stop the global warming nightmare...oh wait, no they don't. Of course they don't!! No one's got a solution to global warming, of course. The fact of the matter is 6.X billion people inhabit this earth, which in itself is enough to cause ridiculously high carbon dioxde levels. Couple that with the fact that we have to work, eat, live, move, and generally manipulate our environment in order to survive, and I think it's a wonder the earth isn't warmer! I love how these same scientists, who are well versed in talking about pre-historic climate shifts, ice ages, and the like now freak out about an 11degree temperature increase. These dang French don't know how good they have it! Think about how all the dinosaurs (never forget!!) must have felt. I bet if you would have asked them how they would have liked an 11degree climate increase, they would have jumped up and down on their dinosaur legs with joy! "11 degrees vs. extinction?! Hooray for global warming!!" they would proclaim. Anyway, I thought it was perfect for some French scientists to whine over global warming then propose nothing to correct it. Viva la France!!

Firestarter Two: Speaking of Ice Ages, yesterday in North Carolina they were predicting the biggest snow/ice storm of the century. They had been talking for days about how we in North Carolina were going to get 5-6 inches of snow in the early afternoon, then get about a quarter inch of ice on top of that, and then have freezing rain all night. Boone, NC came to a halt yesterday. Schools closed down, skiiers unpacked their ski equipment, and salt trucks cruised up and down the street in anticipation of this winter maelstrom. Heck, even my college classes were canceled! I was under the impression (thanks GCC) that colleges never, ever closed. However one look at the forecast, and ASU closed up like something that closes up quickly. Surprisingly, I was really excited to see this storm. I figure a storm this bad, especially in lieu of global warming, had to be a rare sight in NC. I was looking forward to people freaking out, and falling down on the sidewalks, and taking their cars to the "Ride with Pride Car Wash" across the street to get all those inches of salt off their cars.

Anyone want to take a stab at how long it snowed yesterday? 3 hours? 8 hours? Try like 50 minutes. It snowed, stopped, the sun came out, and it got up to 40+ degrees. I was so bummed. That's the second time that has happened this winter. The first time it happened (a predicted winter catastrophe ends in a whimper), my friends and I left our conference in Sarasota, FL early just to avoid it. Of course there wasn't any precipitation then. So what I have come to devine is that people down here, sort of like Frenchies, like to make a big fuss about something that cannot control at all and overstate its impact on our lives. Maybe I actually live in France...

Firestarter Three: My new year's resolution is to put on a few pounds. Every time I say that to people they always ask the same exact question: "Why?!" Well people I've weighed the same for about the past 4 years. I've decided this year I'm going to bulk up and be huge. So far I've gained about 8 pounds. My grocery bill has shot through the roof, and now I'm hungry ALL the time. It's so weird. Anyway, that's about all I have to say about that. If this plan backfires on me, and I can't fit into any of my cadre of suits, though, I'm going to be one hot little potato (or a hot big potato).

Firestarter Four. Senator Hilary Rhodam-Clinton, or however you spell Rohdam (or Hillary for that matter). Wow...wow. I just saw a news report about a group of feminists who think she's too conservative, and that she's a war monger. This deluded group also claimed to be her core constituency. If a group of people who think that Mrs. Cliton has been too soft in her opposition to the war claims to be her constituency, image the people on the far left of her constituency. Yikes. I said it a long time ago, and I'll say it again, if Hillary wins the presidency I'm emigrating. Carly and I have talked this over, and she's cool with it (I think).

Firestarter Five: I guess Mrs. Clinton did initially vote for the war and has voted to send more troops, money, arms, etc. to Iraq, which could make her vocal protest of the war somewhat of a hypocrisy. Maybe the Dems are going to churn out another flip flopper. By the way, the highlight of this news story with the crazy feminists was that this one girl said that the democrats couldn't afford to have "another flip flopper" nominated to run for President. "Uhh I voted for the war, but only after I didn't vote for the war"...sound familiar people?

Firestarter SIX!!!! Speaking of the Presidency, how sweet is the revelrie "Hail to the Chief"? I doubt there's been a better song written for a President, and you can take that to the banc.


Alright people I'm going to make some more coffee. Keep it real.

Again?!

New post on the other blog people. And it's serious* business.

go here soon!!!

Merry Christmas (again!)

Lowering your electricity bill the old fashioned way!

You wanted it? You got it!!

I told you last time that I was going to be publishing a running series on how to make life entertaining when you’re poor and in graduate school. If you’ll recall, the theme of part one was something like “Take Joy in Making Others Happy”: it doesn’t cost you anything, and it makes you feel good! The theme of the second in a cavalcade of awesome blogs is something akin to “Making Your Heating Bill Go Further.”

I was thinking about this topic the other day as I was scanning my electricity bill. For those of you living North of the Mason Dixon Line, down in the South a lot of the heating apparatuses for the winter run on electricity…not gas. It’s a blessing and a curse. So my electricity bill is getting higher and higher as winter rolls in, and I’m starting to have flashbacks about my nightmare apartment on Elm Street (search the archives here…the Elm St. Blogs are classics, people). I’d love to be able to turn my heat down, but if you know anything about me you know I hate to be cold. After reviewing my bill, which was starting to climb into nosebleed territory, I decided to chill out and take a shower.

Now, taking a shower in my apartment isn’t necessarily the greatest experience one can have. The water pressure is just one notch above “slow trickle”, and in order to get my shower “hot” I have to turn the “hot water” handle completely on, and sort of jimmy the “freezing water” handle a little bit to get an adequate amount of hot water. If I give the cold handle even a quarter turn, the cold water completely eclipses what little heat my water heater can produce. But what’s awesome about it is that the hot water kicks on right away and the cold water doesn’t start until about 3 minutes later. So on many occasions I’ve been in the shower thinking it was the right temperature, only to have my wonderfully warm shower turn into an ice bath. It’s as alarming as it sounds, let me tell you. The only good news here is that my landlord pays for the water heating element in my apartment, so thankfully that’s not part of my utility bill.

Since I can never really seem to get the temperature right in the shower, what I’ve started doing is just not turning on the cold water. I know what you’re thinking: “Andrew, that would probably make the shower dangerously warm…I don’t know if that’s a good idea”. Well, it does and it’s not. But while I was standing under scalding hot water the other evening, I realized that I could solve my lukewarm shower AND outlandish electricity bill ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!! Think about this: When was the last time you were in a hot tub? Probably pretty recently. Hot tubs are great not only because you can relieve yourself in them and no one knows, but also because after about 20 minutes in the hot tub, you are REALLY hot. When you get out of the hot tub, do you instantly become cold (provided you’re not in a hot tub outside when the weather is terribly cold)? NO! Your core body temperature rises and you stay relatively warm for at least 20 more minutes.

This is the crux of my story people! I found out that by standing in a shower emitting dangerously hot water, my core body temperature was being raised! Consequently, whenever I got out of the shower I was pretty warm! If you have read the last few sentences and observed the inordinate number of exclamation points which I have used, you can get a sense for how excited all of this made me!!! What I am now starting to do is when I wake up in the morning, I turn my heat off. I quickly run to the shower and turn the “hot water” knob on. I then take a painful shower, but afterwards I’m able to get dressed, eat breakfast, and get out the door to class without being cold! It’s a miracle!!!! I won’t know how well my plan works until next month, but I’m sure it’s going to lower my electricity bill a little bit. That way, if I leave my heat off ALL day, whenever I come back to my apartment all I have to do is hop in the shower for about 10 minutes to get all roasty toasty, and then I won't mind the period of coldness where my apartment is starting to warm up. I think my idea is just shy of "genius" level, but somewhere above "legendary" status.

That's all for this installment of helpful tips for you struggling kids out there. Make sure you stay tuned for more insight, "learning by doing" life experiences, and an update on when you can catch Andrew in a town near you (i.e. maybe I'll get to see some of you rascals over Christmas).

Until then, Merry Christmas (not Haunakah or Kwanzaa)